Macha's Journey 90 Macha's Confession

Tyr looked up to the broken window of his apartment and reflected on what Freyr said. He could not imagine what would cause Freyr to embrace while she begged him to keep a secret. A grimace crossed his face as Tyr made his way back up to his apartment. He still felt hurt and angry, but while trading blows with his cousin, it seemed like Freyr truly viewed himself to be innocent.

Macha laid on the floor crying. She contemplated killing herself because of the immense pain in her heart. She was bitter that her life, which had been so full of happiness, suddenly turned upside down in one day. While she thought about suicide, she blamed herself for being a.s.saulted earlier in the day. In her mind that one moment resulted in Tyr's moment of pa.s.sion and both he and Freyr falling to their deaths. There was no other reason for Tyr to have been angry, other than he overheard what happened.

Aži nuzzled his nose against Macha's arm. She worried him but he did not understand why she was crying so hard. Macha seemed upset earlier, but once Freyr and Tyr flew out of the window her mind seemed to have broken. Aži understood that a fall like that was not a great distance for people like those two. He believed Macha should know this after seeing Tyr's fight in the tournament against Jarnvid.

Tyr entered the room. The door was still wide open, and he immediately saw Macha lying on the floor. She had her eyes open and did not move. His body froze. For a moment, she appeared dead. Upon closer inspection, he found that she took shallow breaths and her eyes were unfocused. He swallowed and took a hesitant step towards her. He dreaded asking her to explain the situation to him. Fearing it would lead to them breaking up. "Macha," Tyr called in a hoa.r.s.e voice.

Macha imagined Tyr calling her name. The thought caused a large tear to fall onto the carpet. She regretted never telling him she liked him. Despite understanding that life could be cut short, she had been too proud, waiting for him to confess his feelings to her. She understood they were just words and his actions proved he cared, but she still wanted him to say them to her first.

Tyr stepped closer to Macha and knelt down. All of his earlier anger dissipated at seeing her broken on the floor. He lightly removed the strands of hairs which clung to her beautiful face. Her tears matted these strands against her skin. In a soft, almost whisper-like voice, he called her name again, "Macha."

Macha rolled her head to stare at whoever called her name. She wanted to be alone to wallow in her grief. Tyr's face entered her vision and her eyes grew wide. Hauling her body off the floor, she grabbed Tyr's legs. She desperately clung to him, afraid that he was a figment of her imagination, "Tyr?" Macha shook him so hard he fell to the floor. "Tyr, I saw you fall." Mache looked at the window to make sure it had really broken.

It was obvious that Macha appeared distraught, and he wanted her to calm down. Tyr bundled her up in his arms and set her down gently on the kitchen counter. "That wasn't a very high fall. Calm down," he said in a soothing voice. Tyr moved to get a gla.s.s of water for her, but she pulled on his sleeve, unwilling to let him go.

It relieved Macha that Tyr seemed unhurt, but he did not come back with Freyr. Fear gripped her heart. Tyr had been so angry, and she remembered that he was a good fighter. She did not know how long Freyr would survive against him. Hesitation laced her voice, and she asked, "Is Freyr..." She wanted to ask if Freyr was alive, but felt too scared to finish her sentence.

A cord of jealousy tugged at Tyr's heart, but he tried to ignore it. His face hardened, "He's fine." When she mentioned Freyr, all of his earlier anger returned. Now Tyr grew impatient, waiting for Macha's explanation. He yanked her hands off of his sleeve and took a step back. He wanted to see her every reaction clearly. Crossing his arms, his critical green eyes judged her, "What did you want Freyr to hide from me?"

Macha stared at Tyr's face. He seemed so cold and unapproachable with his arms crossed. She bit her lips and averted her eyes. Tears fell from her eyes because she did not know what or how to tell Tyr what happened. She was worried that because Jarnvid touched her, she might have lost value in Tyr's eyes.

Tyr grew angrier from her silence. In his mind, her silence confirmed his suspicions that the two had an affair. Every moment he stood in front of her felt like an eternity. Each tear that fell was a slap on his face, reminding him he was not good enough. Not wanting to wait any longer, Tyr grabbed his bag and left. He needed time to be alone.

The pain Macha caused him was much greater than the pain that Fenrir inflicted upon him. He had been young and infatuated with Fenrir, but he loved Macha. For her to have cheated on him with Freyr, was too cruel.

Macha ran after Tyr, but he moved too quickly for her. One of his steps equaled two of hers and whenever she was close, he would speed up. When she reached the ground floor, Tyr had already reached the entrance. Afraid that she would never have the chance to tell him her feelings, she shouted, "Tyr, I like you. Please, come back."

Tyr turned around but continued to walk backward. His face was raw with pain. He shook his head and in a broken voice that held back tears he said, "Macha, I can't." He realized she could not hear him, but if he stayed any longer than he would lose his composure.

Macha's footsteps slowed, and she watched Tyr's back disappear as he walked away. Many of the women in the lobby laughed at her. They talked about how full she was of herself to believe the Captain would like a n.o.body like her. They commented at how disheveled she looked. All of their jeers and taunts were nothing to Macha. Her heart felt numb and her mind was exhausted.

With each step, Tyr rejected her. Macha dragged her feet up to the apartment and realized she should not live in it anymore. Their friends.h.i.+p would now be different. They had been lovers, but obviously nothing more. Now that he did not want her, it would be uncomfortable for her to live here. She decided to pack her things and leave the guild until she got over her feelings for him.

Looking around, she saw all the worldly possessions she had. She came into this world with almost nothing and she decided she did not need any of those things. In the end, she only wanted her armor and traveling supplies.

While she packed she tried to come up with a plan of where to go. She had money, but that only lasted so long. Macha decided that she would join the military. Her skills were decent and they would provide her with a room and board. The pay would be terrible compared to what she made now, but that did not matter. There was no way she would stay here any longer.

Aži saw Macha packing and moved to stop her. Tyr's feelings for her were obvious, and he had overheard their conversation. His friend had been too rash and left without hearing what happened. He honestly believed these two could work out their differences.

When Aži sat in her traveling bag to stop her from packing, Macha gave him a hug. "I'm sorry Aži. I can't stay here anymore. Tyr doesn't have the same feelings for me. Please understand." He did not move, so she picked him up. His body was heavier than he looked and she strained to lift him. "I'll be back. Right now, we need some time apart."

This was something he understood. Throughout their lives, Tyr sought for time alone whenever he felt angry. If Macha needed time, then he would let her go. She always kept her promises, and he knew she would be back.

After packing, Macha tried to knock on Luna or Krystof's door, but no one answered. They were supposed to come back with Tyr, but perhaps they decided to take a detour on the way back. She wrote Luna a note explaining the situation. She wanted to make sure her friend did not worry about her. Later after things calmed down, she vowed to visit Luna.

Macha also wrote a resignation letter for Tyr. She explained that her feelings were still too strong, and she believed it would be best if she left the guild for a while. In it, she apologized for her sudden decision and any inconvenience it caused. She hoped that one day she could return to the guild when she rid herself of her feelings for him.