Memoirs Of Demon Lord 1 Demon Lord Uhchna

I am a demon lord, a king above all the demons of this world. I don't even know what this world is anyway. If you really think about it, we're just practically an ma.s.sive island in the middle of the endless sea.

After four hundred years of living through countless battles, I came to the realization that I don't even know why I must conquer the world. I mean, who does it serve? Who actually benefit from it?

and most of all,

Why Do I Have To Be The Demon King?

Why couldn't it be someone else?

My memories are pretty blurry at this point. However the one thing that always true was....

There's always the demon lord and there's always the heroes who oppose them.

As long as I can remember, my purpose as a Demon Lord was always so vague. Every time I tried to talk with the heroes that come to slay me, they were always such blowhard. Always refusing to talk and just charge right in, sword brandis.h.i.+ng.

The worst part was, they were weak, oh so very weak. Just a flick of a finger and they easily died.

Even a single lost bee is a harder adversary than these moronic buffoons.

Take this....oh...67th group of heroes that are challenging me right now. Let me tell you how pathetic these guys are. Not a Decent fighter among these morons.

Come on, Priest girl! Your Sword hero is in need of healing! Can't you see his injured arm? It's literally hanging by sinews and skin!

And you! Mage dude, what the h.e.l.l are you doing inspecting me with your magic? You're supposed to shoot me with your Dark Ray of Destruction, I know those royal mages spent nearly three month teaching you that d.a.m.n magic skill!

h.e.l.l, some of them even divorced their wife because of it!

Elven Archer girl, what in the serious h.e.l.l are you doing shooting me with those flimsy mithril arrows? They're not even enchanted!

I know you didn't spent that fifteen thousand gold coins that is your party funds on just booze and men!

You're supposed to use those Dragon Bone arrows your elders gave you. Those are the only lethal ones that can injure me greatly!

You see what I have to deal with?

These incompetent morons?

Yeah....every time, every freaking time, that as soon as I start asking "Why have you come, Heroes?"

If they even let me finish my question, they just charge right in,

yelling "Die, Evil Demon Lord!"

What evil? Seriously, What Evil things have I done?

I don't even do anything but stay up in this dreary, dark, gloomy castle surround by jagged rocks and lava, LAVA! I tell you.

It's a wonder my castle didn't fall to ruin years ago. I mean, even my d.a.m.n bed is made of rocks, and to top it off, I got screaming banshees under the castle bas.e.m.e.nt screaming days and nights. I have not a good night sleep for the last fifty years!

Let me tell you about my wretched domain. I fought hard for it and it literally just screwed me, it screwed me back, front and d.a.m.n sideways.

My field grow nothing, not even s.h.i.+t. h.e.l.l, I'd be glad if it grow only s.h.i.+t. It grow nothing, Just d.a.m.n and endless rocks. My castle, if you can even call it that, is just a hollowed out mountain with caves for rooms. The bas.e.m.e.nt is just another bigger cave.

My dinner is mana and fish, my breakfast is mana and fish, my snack is mana And Fis.h.!.+

Can you guess what I serve my guests?

...

That's right! It's Mana and Fis.h.!.+

I once read a human book describing that the Demon Lord supposed to have a grand palace filled with golden treasure and dying screams of the innocents everywhere.

I think the writer must have been a insane idiot with brain full of maggots.

I mean, where's the d.a.m.n golden treasure? All I see is rocks upon rocks.

What Palace? This place, it's no palace!

h.e.l.l, it's not even fit to be a stable for horses.

Screaming of the innocents!!???

That's probably the banshees down below.

I got no prison, and definitely not enough food around to feed any prisoner. I can barely feed my "guards" as they are. h.e.l.l, I don't even got two gold coins to rub together anyhow.

Demons are considered evil everywhere, but let's face it. When your home, the only place that you can stay at is a s.h.i.+tty h.e.l.l hole like this, it make you just want something better. It'd be great if this place is warm, but nooo....there's always have that d.a.m.n thunderstorm over head, then the d.a.m.n winter. Luckily us demon are pretty resistant to the cold, but it still cold ya know....

Well.....what do you know....Mage dude finally made a mistake of friendly fire and burned Sword guy, Nice Going, Idiot!

And....now they're fighting among each other....Come on guys, you're fighting The Demon Lord here, at least show a little professionalism.

I don't know, I really really don't know why I actually bother with this s.h.i.+t and oh....would you look at that, Sword guy holy sword just flew off.

No doubt going to look for a new successor to slay me....and now the party is crying their eyes out begging me to let them live....I almost feel pity for these guys.

You go into my home, you slaughter my guards, if you can even call a group of demon wearing rags that. You invades my people's home and torment them and You Even insult me for absolutely no reason whatsoever. You even blown up my door which I had to carved by myself, couldn't you at least knock?

Now, you want me to forgive you for all that?

Seriously, come on!

After all that s.h.i.+t they pulled, now they're even bawling their eyes out like some babies.

Arrhgg...fine, you know what. I feeling pretty magnanimous at the moment, p.i.s.sed off but still magnanimous enough. So I let them go.

No! Archer Girl! Why? I let you guys go, why do you have to shoot me again and missed!!??

Of all thing that you could have shoot, why do you gotta shoot the carved head of my statues?

well.....talk about stupid meet stupidity of the moronic magnificent. They just unleashed one of the several traps I set up in this cave chamber.....ya know, Priest girl, that barrier of your is not going to hold up against two ton of granite.....Still....there's much worse way to go out. At least they died without much pain....

I'm tired...

I think I'm going to go bang a banshee down below, and see what's the screaming all about...