The Divorcee Is A Wicked Black Belly 126 Don't Be In A Hurry To Leave Us Again

It took will and effort for Nian Zhen not to jump at this beast and pummel him to death but he managed to contain his anger after meeting the warning in An Ning's eyes. He took a deep breath and turned around, hearing Hypnos' mocking laughter behind him.

"I will go and exchange myself for Pollux," he said, meeting her eyes. "I have to save our daughter, An Ning. This is the surest way."

An Ning didn't answer just considered him in silence.

"Do you know why Hades wants you?" she finally asked.

Nian Zhen's smiled was self-mocking.

"I killed a lot of people. Their souls are inside me. They're what keeps me alive. And the Underworld is a destination for souls that die. It's easy to figure out why he wants me."

"Nian Zhen..."

"I murdered a lot of people, An Ning," Nian Zhen said without defending himself. "I killed thousands. Most of them innocent lives I've taken for their souls because I needed them. There is no excuse for what I did. Do I regret it? Yes. Would I stop if I had known my daughter was to become payment for my crimes? Probably not. I did what I had to do. There was no wrong or right at the precise moment while I was doing these murders. I just did what I did to survive."

"I'm not blaming you," An Ning said. "I'm looking at this from the profitability angle."

Nian Zhen frowned.

"What do you mean?"

"Why did it took Hades this long to come after you? He has power over the dead but why didn't he demand payment as soon as you killed your first hundred? Out of the goodness of his heart he waited until you killed thousands before making his move? It doesn't make sense."

"Maybe he didn't know what to do. I am the only one of my kind, An Ning. I've asked around, believe me. Most souls I've met in my travels were discarded or forgotten for no particular reason. They all became lost souls after dying physically. I was lower than dust when Han kicked me out of my body and he took over. I was nothing. Lowest than even the lowliest animal," Nian Zhen took a deep breath. "What I resented most was whoever it was who condemned me into nothing didn't even erase my memory. I was powerless. I was exposed and vulnerable. The funny thing is I didn't lose my faith in G.o.d. I know he exists it's just that whoever it was he a.s.signed to look after me didn't care enough to know what happened to me afterwards."

"If I had known..." An Ning said helplessly, looking at him with unwilling pity.

"Don't you dare pity me," Nian Zhen spat out. "I blame no one for what happened. Of course, I would rather kill my own brother than forgive him but it wasn't his fault either, you know. He did what he needed to do to hang on to you as I did what I had to do to make you mine. It's called rivalry and compet.i.tion and I won. It's just this a.s.sholes Hypnos and Hades..."

"Like two dogs fighting over a bone?" An Ning's voice was amused.

"What?" Nian Zhen stared at her, surprised then as the meaning of her words sunk in he smiled. "You could say that."

"I'm not worth it, you know that, don't you?" An Ning softly said. "Don't hang a halo over my head because it's not deserved."

"To me you are the sweetest and kindest and most important person in my life," Nian Zhen said. He was looking at An Ning coolly and almost indifferently. His beautiful face was calm and stoic but if one would care to look far behind his cool eyes, one would see the glint of an overwhelming possessiveness he was trying to mask behind an icy facade.

Nian Zhen checked the urge to suddenly grab and pounce on An Ning with all his strength. Now that fate has once again put his life on the line and claimed his daughter as collateral, he finds himself scared and frightened. He knew that the probability of him losing An Ning completely was 100 percent. He will leave her for the last time and that would be it. He would probably die for real this time. He would die and his memory erased. But then his daughter Pollux would be safe and afterwards it would be all over.

Why then did he feel a fiery itch under his skin, the power of those souls solidifying their hatred against him so that he would lose himself and they would take over?

"I'm not kind and I'm not sweet," An Ning was saying. "I just want a comfortable life so I get really cranky when somebody tries to annoy me."

"You may not remember but I felt physically ill when you said you were leaving me," Nian Zhen said quietly. "An Ning, have you ever felt that you and I, whatever happens or whoever comes between us, that we're not done with loving or hating each other? That we will never be done even when we say stop? This...between us...I don't know what it is...but even at the point of death, I could not let go. Would not let go. There is always something... regret perhaps, resentment...I only know that the most hurtful thing G.o.d ever did to me was rob me of my breath the moment I realized how truly and deeply and achingly I love you."

Nian Zhen stopped then chuckled when he saw An Ning's expression.

"Please don't look at me like that. You thought I fell for Valerie and that was true. I fell for the ephemeral, the magic, the most beautiful Kodak moment of my life and that was it. I fell in love with the moment not the woman."

"It was bound to happen," An Ning said, sinking deeper into the comfort of her chair. "Based on what people told me, well, Dad really, it seemed that I really put in an effort to catch you as a husband. I probably stopped you from dating other women in the past, right?"

"What the h.e.l.l are you saying?" Nian Zhen was angry. He didn't like An Ning's tone and her coolness when looking at him.

"We grew up together, right? And it seems to me I was really hang up on you. Was it an obsession? Well, that couldn't be healthy. A situation like that. I'm not saying it as a criticism but that kind of obsession was bound to lead to disaster and it did when you fell for Valerie."

"I didn't will myself to fall for her, you know. It just happened," Nian Zhen was beginning to feel outraged. Why the h.e.l.l is she so cool discussing his infidelity? Shouldn't she be pummeling his head for his betrayal?

"I'm not saying you did it on purpose. Look, I'm not blaming you. What I'm trying to say is the two of us...given the fact that we were as close as Siamese twins...when an outside stimuli accidentally wanders in, it was bound to change the old dynamics," An Ning shrugged.

"Are you, by any chance, trying to excuse my infidelity?" Nian Zhen was shocked and outraged and furious at the same time.

"If it had been me and Han meeting for the first time, in the garden, in the same circ.u.mstances, how would you feel?"

A red haze seemed to cover Nian Zhen's eyes. An Ning literally saw him nearly blow his top but Nian Zhen calmed himself down and took a deep breath.

"I would have killed you and him then and there," he said with grim determination.

An Ning laughed, realizing something for the first time.

"You must have been really hurt when instead of confronting you and your mistress I calmly asked for a divorce, right?"

"What do you think?"

"I must have sounded so cool and brave," An Ning said with a smile. "Even when Han left me for Valerie I didn't feel anything but relief actually. Han was nice and I really liked him but I felt no emotional connection to him whatsoever. Sometimes I would look at him and ask myself who the h.e.l.l is this person? But I was pregnant and he said he was the father so," she shrugged. "I didn't want my child to be born without one so I decided what the heck. He was a very nice man who obviously likes me a lot. He smelled nice. Really good in the sack but...," An Ning suddenly looked at him. "Was that your doing?"

"His being good in the sack?"

"You were controlling him when he did that?" Now it was An Ning's turn to feel outraged. "Of all the d.a.m.n tricks!"

"I couldn't reinsert myself in my old body but I found out it was still connected to me in some way so I started experimenting."

"By having Han f.u.c.k me?" An Ning's eyes were stormy with rage.

"I joined in. Does that make you feel better?" he smiled.

An Ning angrily stood up and walked off. Before she could take one step, however, Nian Zhen had already reached out and enfolded her in his arms. He plastered her close to his body as if he wanted to mould her body to his skin and his bones. His hold was so tight that she couldn't breath, couldn't even move an inch. She tried to struggle but his grip tightened so she was forced to stand still, not even moving a muscle as he muttered her name over and over again.

"What?" she frowned suddenly. "What did you say?"

"I said I don't want you to ever marry anyone after I'm gone," he whispered hoa.r.s.ely, his breath warm on her neck. "Don't fall in love with another guy either or I'll get really mad."

An Ning's lips lifted in a soft smile. She lightly pushed him away so she could look up and meet his gaze. His eyes were warm and soft but she could the glint of something scary that should make her feel uneasy. But An Ning met it head on. Although she transmigrated into the body of a young teenager, her mind retained the focus and maturity of her modern age. She was not afraid of his desire or his need of her. She and this man in whatever ways and forms have long entangled with each other for far too long. He was right about one thing, they were not done entangling, not now or ever. Even if one of them were to say stop or they both die, fate and the insanity of pre-selection would still see their lives forming and tangling in some way. There was always the sense of the unfinished between the two of them. The unfinished between the two of them...the words suddenly sent chills down An Ning's spine.

"What's wrong?" Nian Zhen who was sensitive to her every move noticed the flicker of something strange on her expression.

"Nothing," she hastily said. "Anyway, regarding your suggestion, I'm still young so why shouldn't I fall in love and get married? Who can predict this things anyway?"

Nian Zhen narrowed his eyes dangerously.

"You already have someone in mind, miss?" he gritted out. "Who is he?"

"You're talking nonsense," An Ning said. "Let go."

"Tell me," he demanded.

"Why should I tell you anything? Aren't you giving up and is just waiting for Hades to pa.s.s his judgment? If that is the case, then nothing you say is relevant anymore, right?"

Nian Zhen looked as if she had just stabbed him in the back then kicked him out to boil in the hot sun. His arms fell to his sides, allowing An Ning to walk away. She went to their room and when she came back, she was already dressed in what she likes to call her working clothes, tight leather pants and sleeveless tank top. The ubiquitous strips of bandages were wrapped around her lower arms and neck. She looked like a bada.s.s warrior woman looking for a fight.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"Out," she said.

"An Ning..."

He whispered her name but he saw that he heard because she stopped and turned around. They gazed at each other from a short distance yet Nian Zhen felt like it was a deep chasm because he suddenly felt cold and alone. Like the first time he opened his mud eyes and realized he had gone back to whatever natural state of barbarism humanity had started from and he might never see her again.

"I'm sorry," he muttered. "I can only cling to you because I know I will again leave you very soon. I don't want to but I am a wanted man by h.e.l.l itself, An Ning. I can only plead that I did it because I felt wronged but I know whatever it is I say in my defense, my crimes are too horrendous to be forgiven," Nian Zhen stopped. When he resumed, his voice dripped ice. "I didn't start out like this, you know. I've always been a law abiding man. I didn't even cheat on my taxes and even when I did cheat on you, I was so bad at it I died."

An Ning walked towards him and when she stopped, Nian Zhen almost staggered at the heat of her gaze.

"That's why I'm telling you to snap out of that self-imposed prison of shame and regret. I don't care if you killed millions to get back to me. You said it yourself, you needed to do what you had to do to survive. Everyone of us, even me, would have done the same thing you did, Nian Zhen. I would have defied G.o.d even since what do I have to lose? I'm already d.a.m.ned so what's a little more million lives worth to me?"

Nian Zhen took a deep breath.

"You know, you can be pretty scary," he said with a little laugh.

"What are million's lives worth to me compared to my daughter's? Precisely nothing," An Ning said, her face grim. "So, don't ever tell me I should be scared and do nothing because that's not an option, ever."

"I'm sorry," he said again, pressing his forehead against hers and gathering her close. "I'm sorry I let you see how really scared I am. I'm sorry for letting you down. I'm sorry for disappointing you with my negative att.i.tude."

An Ning sighed and looped her arms around his waist.

"You didn't let me down and you didn't disappoint me. I am angry though that you immediately offered your life for our daughter as if that's the only possible way out of this. No more talk about exchanging lives with anybody, okay? Even if it's our children. I am grateful but, Nian Zhen, for whatever reason, against h.e.l.l's expectations, you are here. Don't be in a hurry to leave us again, okay?"

Nian Zhen lifted his head studied An Ning's face with s.h.i.+ning eyes. He could see the troubled look between her smooth brows, the droop on her lids.

"Does that mean you like me back?" he teased, lightly pressing his lips on hers.

"I've grown used to you," An Ning lightly shrugged. "We all have."

With a smothered groan, Nian Zhen opened his mouth and kissed An Ning as if he was drowning. She didn't hold back either. She offered her lips without protest. Her tongue was sucked and licked and her lips bitten until they were rubbed raw from the strength and desperation of his kiss. He could have taken her there and then and she wouldn't have protested but Nian Zhen merely buried his face between her neck as he sobbed over and over again: "I don't want to leave you. Ning Ning, I don't want to leave you ever again."

An Ning held him securely in her strong young arms. His vulnerability and his fear were part of the fabric that now defines this strange relations.h.i.+p of theirs. She doesn't remember Nian Zhen from his past life. She could only see some glimmer of it in his present incarnation. She realized that she couldn't ask him to lend her his strength because frankly, he had none to spare. He had used up all his strength and whatever fort.i.tude he might have possessed getting here to where he wanted to be. She will lose him surely if she pushed him too far.

But she will not allow him to exchange his life for their daughter's or her's or their son's. It would be the cruelest thing she will ever do if she did. Hades wants Nian Zhen? Then let him fight for the privilege of getting him. Nian Zhen's life or soul will not be offered on a platter by her or anyone just because the king of h.e.l.l is offended by his existence. Too f.u.c.king bad. The Underworld clearly needs some shakeup by the look of things.