Bleeding Heart 70 I Would Love To Listen

The day seemed to pa.s.s very slowly after the children had left with Mem.

Dawn was pretty sure that this stemmed from just how no one was really talking, except for Raven. But even Raven fell quiet after a bit, whether from running out of things to say or simply having talked too much it was hard to say. Dawn leaned towards the latter as his voice became increasingly hoa.r.s.e. Even more than usual.

Night fell and they set up camp. Dinner felt subdued as well. Though Dawn might not have been the most proactive of her group socially, she still felt it and it made her feel more than a little odd seeing every one so subdued.

She found herself glad that at least Raven was handling his emotions well enough to at least put on a semblance of being fine with how their little friends had left with such little hesitation.

Dawn herself could not find it in herself to be all that upset. Yes, she had liked the children. And she would have liked to have them stick around. But her childhood had made her used to the idea of people leaving, more so than was all that healthy. There were only a few people who it would truly surprise and hurt if they just up and left on her. And she had only ever known one person who she would have been upset enough with that she would not have been willing to listen to the reason. But Arrion would never have even had it come into his head to leave her for any reason.

So, while she had been a bit upset, mostly she was worried for her companions. To them it was not normal. Most of them did not have as deep an understanding of Nix'Ryl in general. As such they would not have understood the mentality that led to the children being so independent that they did not even think to look to the adults for advice before coming to a decision.

Dawn was still dwelling on it as she tried to drop off to sleep. While she managed to eventually fall asleep, and even in the first watch, as usual her sleep was fitful and filled with her late husband.

When she woke up she had a lingering image of his gentle eyes just looking at her with such adoration it made her heart squeeze painfully.

She felt despondent as she left her tent for her watch. She was a bit surprised to see Raven already taking over the watch and sending Gysen's watch to go get a few more hours of sleep.

As she walked over, Raven turned and looked at her with a smile, "Morning, Dawn. Sleep well?"

"As well as I can."

"You don't tend to sleep all that well, I take it?" He looked sympathetic even with so much of his face covered with that white cloth.

"Not since Arrion died."

"…" Raven looked away, at a loss for what to say. After a few moment's silence, he spoke quietly, "I'm sorry to hear that, Dawn. I am sure that your husband would not want you to have any problems like that. But It is not really something you can just stop, I suppose."

"No, it's not." Dawn smiled despite the soft pain in her chest, "But you are right in that Arrion would have hated the fact that I am upset, even as he would be happy that I cared enough to get upset." She sighed to herself, "But he would have rathered not make me cry over him."

"You never seem to have all that much bad to say of him…" Raven sat down and leaned back on the palm of his hands. He hesitated a bit before continuing, "Did he have any habits that you found annoying? Or was he just that great?"

Dawn was surprised by the question. Why was Raven want to know that? She bit her lip, though, and thought about the question seriously. "Heh. I was annoyed at him at least once a week, but honestly I think that was part of why I loved him. He could make me care enough to get annoyed… And I think he might have done it on purpose for that reason. And he did always know when to stop. He was just that good at people reading."

"You must have a ton of stories." Raven gave her a grin, "I would be interested in hearing them. If you want to tell them that is?"

"I would love to." She smiled to herself, "It would be rather nice to talk about my dear Arrion. If you want to listen, I am more than willing to talk about him all day."

Raven smiled at her and nodded empathetically. Dawn found herself talking about her husband for the whole two hours of her watch.