Royal Lotus 15 11

I was well aware of the fear that I drilled into people. It came with the price of being a king. And with the strict upbringing of the palace, however fearsome I was in the eyes of others, I had never let it bother me -until now, that is. As I watched the waning form of Ice Juntasa, my own flesh and blood, I felt a wall I built between us crumble. The way in which she flinched whenever I spoke, the way she avoided my eye contact, and the way she kept her head bowed even while speaking; they all made me highly uncomfortable. Having raised Luna within my grasp, I came to know the reason why people would beg for mercy when it came to children.

They were young, innocent, and not knowing of the cruelty of the world. And having been kept in the manor up until now, Ice should've had more innocence than others. Yet, somehow she had developed a mindset that clearly indicated that she feared I would kill her at any slip ups.

She was far too young to have a mature mindset - too young to fear death. Even Luna, who was older than her, did not know the cruel things I was capable of and was not worry for her end. And like Luna, Ice should be enjoying her days, not live in fear.

A sigh escape as I pinched the s.p.a.ce between my brows. While I never considered making Ice an official daughter of mine, for she had never been planned, immense guilt overcame me as I thought about how she might've felt growing up without my presence. Even if I didn't like her mother, she was still a child that deserved a father figure; a father that should've been there for her birth, should've provided her with a name, and a father that should've treated her like a proper daughter.

And perhaps if I had done so, she would not fear to be near me, and would look at me with a big smile on her face. At the thought of her smiling, I realized that since the moment I met her, she had not once showed any sign of happiness. It made me question if she was truly ever happy. Motioning my hand, my special guard appeared before my eyes.

"I need you to visit the manor and update me on her lifestyle there. Specifically if she's happy or not."

He nodded before vanis.h.i.+ng from the room, allowing the silence to return.

Standing up, I made my way to Luna's bedroom. As I opened the door, I was greeted by the sound of carefree laughter. Luna sat playing with her new tea set and dolls. The sun shone upon her hair, giving her a fiery appearance, strikingly similar to my own. Upon noticing me, she gave a large grin and ran towards me. I pulled her into a tight hug and placed a kiss on her forehead.

"Having fun, dear?" I asked. She nodded, excitedly.

"Yep! Are you here to play with me?"

I pressed my lips into a tight line as I knelt down on my knees, "Actually I was here to ask you something?"

She slumped her head to the side, looking at me with her large glowing eyes, "What is it?"

"Am I a bad father?" I asked softly. Her lips parted before she cupped the side of my face, "Of course not. You're the best!"
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"Really?"

"Yep! Why do you ask?"

I shook my head, and forced a smile,"Nothing."