I Beg You All, Please Shut Up Chapter 41: Profile My Ass

Chapter 41: Profile My a.s.s

Mn?

Inside the rental apartment. Chu Tian was reading the message sent over by w.a.n.g Xiaofeng in a slightly confused manner.

w.a.n.g Xiaofeng was fond of going out for pleasures?

This… doesn’t seem right!

When Chu Tian made his hotel registry program, he ended up tracking down w.a.n.g Xiaofeng because w.a.n.g Xiaofeng was trying to track him. During the process, he made thorough research into w.a.n.g Xiaofeng.

If Chu Tian’s memory served him correct, w.a.n.g Xiaofeng could be said to be a stereotypical otaku. He practically has no interaction with others in real life. Furthermore, he has a girlfriend. Six years his junior and was quite pretty too. She was currently on an overseas trip with her bestie.

Judging from Chu Tian’s prior investigation into w.a.n.g Xiaofeng, w.a.n.g Xiaofeng was more fond of food than anything. He could even be considered to be a chowhound.

He was not a person that would fool around for s.e.xual pleasures.

After all, those that sit before computers day on end would generally not possess that much stamina. w.a.n.g Xiaofeng was also in his thirties and with a girlfriend.

With his circ.u.mstances, it would already be pretty good if he could satisfy his girlfriend. His circ.u.mstances don't seem like someone that possesses the energy to mess around outside of his relations.h.i.+p.

With that in mind, a nefarious smile appeared on Chu Tian’s face. He began to type away at his keyboard.

Five minutes later.

Suddenly, as if he discovered something, Chu Tian revealed a frown.

Hiss… What’s with this situation?

Why were there three encrypted mobile phones connected to w.a.n.g Xiaofeng’s home network?

Chu Tian was originally planning to investigate w.a.n.g Xiaofeng’s philandering tracks. He wanted to see what sort of place and what sort of women w.a.n.g Xiaofeng would frequent.

Since he was bored, Chu Tian figured that he might as well gain some knowledge of a hacker’s life.

But, when Chu Tian hacked into w.a.n.g Xiaofeng’s home network, he suddenly discovered that there were three other encrypted mobile phones connected to the network.

He doesn’t seem to remember those three encrypted phones being there before.

Seeing the phones, Chu Tian soon thought of something. Then, he continued to type away at his keyboard.

Twenty minutes later!

Chu Tian looked to his monitor speechlessly. Suddenly, he couldn’t help himself from laughing.

f.u.c.king A!

They’re actually from the Ministry of State Security!

w.a.n.g Luozhen. Female. 31 years old. Ministry of State Security, Special Agent.

Li Qinghao. Male. 26 years old. Ministry of State Security, Logistics and Technical Support Department.

Zhang Yongqing. Male. 42 years old. Top governmental profiler.

It was obvious what a special agent and a technical support would be doing. One was in charge of breaking through enemy lines from the front whereas the other was in charge of providing a.s.sistance through technical support from the back. This sort of combination was commonly seen in movies.

In contrast, a profiler was much more interesting.

Profilers were specialized professionals. They were mainly in charge of profiling the perpetrators of crime scenes. Through the circ.u.mstances of the scenes, the distinctive characteristics and other clues, they would be able to determine the criminals’ gender, age, appearance, occupation, hobby and various others.

This was especially true when it comes to serial killers. The exceptionally skilled profilers would be able to accurately determine who the serial killers would be targeting next. Through that, they would be able to successfully prevent another killing and capture the serial killers.

That being said, very few people knew about who profilers are and what they do.

By pure coincidence, Chu Tian was one of those people that knew about profilers.

It was because he had ghost-wrote a story about a private detective before.

The arc that he ghost-wrote about concerned the main character and a powerful profiler working together on a major case. The main character ended up competing with that profiler in the accuracy of their respective a.n.a.lysis of the criminal.

It was only at that time that Chu Tian learned about the profession of profilers.

Chu Tian’s fingers slowly rubbed past his chin. Then, a smile appeared on his face, “Seems like they’re trying to a.n.a.lyze me and determine my ident.i.ty through that.”

When even a top governmental profiler appeared, Chu Tian was able to imagine that he must’ve caught the government’s attention. They were viewing him as a person of importance.

It was understandable. His current hacking abilities were simply too unG.o.dly powerful. If he wanted to cause destruction, the aftermath would be unthinkable. Attempting to track him down was a reasonable decision.

Suddenly, another message arrived from w.a.n.g Xiaofeng: “Shadow bro, you doing okay? Why aren’t you responding?”

“Tsk!”

Chu Tian curled his lip and smiled, “Quite good of a disguise. You’re trying to pretend to be w.a.n.g Xiaofeng? Sure, I’ll take that. You’re trying to profile me, eh? Let’s see what sort of profile you’ll give me.”

After speaking out loud, Chu Tian replied with a message: “I went to the toilet. Just got back.”

w.a.n.g Xiaofeng: “Haha, are you lying? You took that long in the toilet? Is there a woman beside you?”

Chu Tian smiled: “A woman my a.s.s. I’m in my fifties. Even if you are to send me a G.o.ddess, I wouldn’t be interested.”

w.a.n.g Xiaofeng: “Ah?? Shadow bro, you’re in your fifties?”

Chu Tian: “That’s right. I’ll be sixty in a couple years.”

w.a.n.g Xiaofeng: “d.a.m.n! Then I should address you as old sir instead. I’ve always thought you to be younger than me.”

Chu Tian: “Haha. I’m a person with a young heart. If I wasn’t injured in the army, if my legs still work like they did, I’d be able to round up all those old women dancing in the plaza below.”

[1. It is common knowledge that once chinese women reach aunty to granny age, they will start dancing in open plazas with, generally, loud chinese disco music. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dkCWnZByRZY You don’t want to mess with them, they’d f.u.c.k with you too.]

Chu Tian: “Hey ah, I have some matters to take care of here. I gotta go to the hospital, I’ll be logging off for now. We can talk again next time.”

After sending that message, Chu Tian smiled and logged out of his account.

Go profile my a.s.s!

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