Discussing The Correct Posture To Enjoy Dog Food Chapter 57 - Honey Tangerine Flavored Shadow Guard Gong (15): The main plot has been replaced, now fuck ba!

Chapter 57 - Honey Tangerine Flavored Shadow Guard Gong (15): The main plot has been replaced, now f.u.c.k ba!

Translator: KunLin

Editors: Vez, Blarghette

*Mild nsfw

Spring pa.s.sed, autumn followed, with the approaching winter snow shortly after.

By the time Gou Liang could slowly walk a hundred meters without crutches, winter had already arrived quietly.

This year’s winter was especially cold.

Unlike the south where the trees remain green all year around, the capital was already covered in a layer of snow.

Low-grade silver charcoal was being burned in the East Palace. Heavy smoke filled the air, and if one stayed in it for too long, their eyes would start to sting and tear up. However, even if it was the lowest-grade silver charcoal, the East Palace did not have enough to use, not to mention there were many people in Li Yan’s household. After dividing it with the imperial concubine and her child, there was little left over. As a result, during this cold winter, Li Yan and Zhong Yue could only stay in the main palace, limiting their outings as much as possible.

One night, there were coughing sounds coming nonstop from inside the bedroom. Zhong Yue pulled the quilt tighter around him and pinched his nose. He wanted to hide from the suffocating smoke but was afraid of the cold, so he could only endure.

Li Yan was brooding silently outside the palace hall. He did not pay attention to the sound of the other’s coughing at all.

He was still thinking about how to get out of this situation before him.

After the earthquake, the Emperor did not push him out to calm the hearts of the citizens, and when King An spread rumors of his cowardice, the Emperor helped suppressed it, along with the a.s.sa.s.sination attempt on King An at Yan Fief.

In the end, the blame of the earthquake had been pushed onto the former Crown Prince, the son of the Gao Clan who had been in secluded confinement.

The Emperor arranged for people to find treasonous objects in the crown prince’s study—they found voodoo dolls with the Emperor, the Crown Prince, and King An’s eight characters written on it. They even brought in the QinTian supervisor to confirm it. The reason Heaven had sent down punishment, the reason the Crown Prince was heavily injured, the reason King An was met with a.s.sa.s.sins—these blames were all pushed onto the former Crown Prince’s head.

Then, not waiting for the Emperor to question him, the former Crown Prince after being exposed had killed himself in his manor, only leaving behind a will written in blood admitting his crimes: He admitted that his sins were deep, and that he could only die to ask for the Emperor’s forgiveness.

The court had no idea that the former Crown Prince wasn’t the Emperor’s true child. They only thought of the previous ‘poisoning incident’ against the Emperor.

From their perspectives, the former Crown Prince was truly despicable. After the Emperor had narrowly survived being poisoned, he still cherished the father and son relation between them and had spared the other’s life. Unexpectedly not only did the other not repent, he even cursed the entire imperial clan other than himself to go die, what a vicious person!

With such heavy crimes, even those who were skeptical about the truth of the matter were willing to set down the suspicion in their heart.

The hearts of the officials were pacified and after the disaster relief for the earthquake was done, calm returned to the court once more. The year was coming to an end and the atmosphere was joyous and peaceful.

However, he, this Crown Prince, continued to remain ‘sick’ without any signs of improving…

“Cough, cough, cough!”

The sounds of coughing interrupted Li Yan’s thoughts again, and he irritably furrowed his brows.

It had been a couple days since Zhong Yue moved into the main palace. Before this, he had always lived in the side palace. There, the furnace was currently burning warmly and there was also a steady supply of tea and fruits. Even Li Yan, the master of the East Palace, wasn’t able to live so well, but Li Yan never once stepped foot into the side palace for one reason alone—these comforts were all arranged by King An to flatter Zhong Yue. Li Yan felt like he was dirtying his feet by stepping in there.

That’s right, ever since King An had returned to the capital from Yan Fief, he had been especially attentive towards Zhong Yue, to the extent he even risked angering the Emperor in order to send gifts to the East Palace.

On the surface, he pretended it was out of deep feelings between brothers. His excuse was that he was worried about his brother, his sister-in-law, and his nephew not living well, so he had sent those things. However, in reality, the moment the things were delivered to the East Palace, they were immediately sent to the side palace where Zhong Yue lived. His intentions were clear.

The reason Zhong Yue had hid to his side of the palace was because during the heavy snow storm a few days ago, the Emperor had caught a cold and his old illness flared up again. In a moment of desperation, the Emperor risked it and took the medicine that he had stolen from Zhong Yue, but who knew it nearly cost his life! It was a pity, just a little more and…Li Yan thought up to here and grew even more spiteful of the QinTian Supervisor. He swore when he ascended the throne someday, the first thing he would do is to end that Liu-won’t-speak who had foiled his plans time and time again!

On that day it was the QinTian Supervisor JianZheng Liu-won’t-speak who sent over the medicine at night, saving the Emperor’s life.

But this bout of illness was grave. Even after taking the miracle medicine, the Emperor remained bedridden to the point he couldn’t even take care of himself.

The narrow escape of death along with his steadily deteriorating body made the Emperor’s temper especially volatile. When King And was serving by his side, he was repeatedly yelled at by the Emperor, who even went so far as to accuse him of colluding with Li Yan and Zhong Yue to harm his life.

At this critical juncture, no matter how embarra.s.sing of a problem King An had, he no longer dared to continue showing any good to Zhong Yue, lest he provoke the Emperor.

But even like this, King An was unable to get back the Emperor’s favor. When the volatile and sick Emperor saw him, it was like seeing the d.a.m.ned former Crown Prince, he didn’t want to see him at all.

Thus, during the past few days, the person who served by the Emperor’s side became Liu-won’t-speak, a person who was practically invisible to the court for the past decade.

If Zhong Yue could guess that there was someone behind Liu-won’t-speak, then naturally the Emperor also had his suspicions, and therefore didn’t completely trust him.

But when he tried to probe deeper, Liu-won’t-speak trembled with fear and knelt before the dragon bed, saying: “Your Majesty, there is no one behind this lowly one, only the legacy left behind by my late teacher.”

“That year when Teacher received the imperial decree, he felt that he had let down the imperial clan, so before he left the capital he made one last divination for the country. He predicted that about a decade later the country would be met with a great calamity, and entrusted this matter to this lowly official. If not for the fact that this divination had exhausted too much of his heart blood, how would he have been unable to predict the attack against Zhong Clan? And how would the entire clan be met with disaster…without being able to retaliate whatsoever?”

The Emperor heard this and believed him.

After all, he already knew the truth from that year. He realized that the State Teacher’s bloodline had been loyal to the imperial clan. Coincidentally, what saved his life once again was the miracle medicine the State Teacher had left to Liu-won’t-speak.

He let out a sigh of remorse: “It was Zhen who trusted the wrong people, wronged the Zhong Clan, and nearly wronged the common people…cough, cough, cough.”

Liu-won’t-speak hurriedly stepped up and said: “Your majesty, take care of your dragon body. Teacher was a sagacious person who had long seen past life and death. Your Majesty, there’s no need to blame yourself. It’s just…”

The Emperor looked at him: “Why did beloved official stop?”

Liu-won’t-speak kowtowed and said: “There is a matter stuck in this lowly official’s heart, but since it might offend Your Majesty, this lowly official doesn’t know if it should be spoken.”

“If beloved subject has something to say, then say it, Zhen will pardon you.”

A hint of darkness flashed through the Emperor’s eyes.

“Your Majesty, Teacher’s entire clan had perished in the fire, without even their remains left. Because they were criminals, no one took care of them and they are without a grave, a place to rest, or a descendant to pray for them.”

Speaking of this tragic matter, tears flowed from Liu-won’t-speak’s face and his voice choked with sobs: “This lowly official would be constantly reminded of this and become unable to sleep at night, feeling too ashamed to meet Teacher after death. But now, circ.u.mstances have changed, there are hints to the truth of the matter of that year…this lowly official is willing to use his head as a guarantee that the memorial from that year definitely wasn’t written by the State Teacher, and the person who instigated King XianLin to kill the former Crown Prince also wasn’t the State Teacher! If this lowly official may be so bold, may your Majesty please reinvestigate this case and return innocence to the State Teacher’s clan, carrying out justice!”

The Emperor originally thought he would make a more excessive demand, but hearing this he let out a soft sigh, then said in a dignified manner: “Beloved subject’s request is in line with what Zhen wants.”

On the spot, he had the head of the imperial guards hurry over through the deep night and ordered for the three divisions to cooperate in reinvestigating this case, in order to return innocence to the State Teacher’s Zhong Clan.

It was as if heaven was lending a helping hand to the case. The three divisions were able to discover leads quickly. Using the handwriting on the letter, they were able to find the person who had actually written it.

The person was surnamed Wu, and was a scholar from the countryside. His specialty was replicating all sorts of handwriting, imitating them perfectly so they were near impossible to differentiate from the genuine one.

With his testimony, it was proven that the memorial from back then wasn’t written by the State Teacher, rather that it was something the Gao Clan had commissioned him to write.

But the scholar cherished his life and when he saw the content of the memorial, he was terrified. He knew this would bring him life-threatening danger, so after he finished writing it, he had fled the very night without even caring for his wife and child. Later when he heard how the entire State Teacher’s clan had been killed, he dared to return home even less, instead living his life in hiding. This time he happened to be pa.s.sing by the capital and when he learned that the State Teacher’s clan was buried nearby, his heart felt uneasy, so he bought some joss sticks and paper money and offered them to ease his guilt a bit. He hadn’t expected to be caught red-handed by the Ministry of Justice.

Justice had finally been brought to the case after nearly fifteen years.

Not only did the Emperor publicized the details of the case to the world, he added another crime of framing loyal subjects onto the heads of the traitorous Gao Clan and former Crown Prince. He even constructed a monument in HuGuo Temple so the Zhong Clan could receive offerings and wors.h.i.+p. Written on the monument were the contributions the generations of Zhong Clan State Teachers had made to the country, as well as praises for their virtues. On the day the monument was erected, he personally carried his sick body and led a group of officials to give offerings.

When news of this reached Yangzhou, Gou Liang clapped his hands together and paid respect to the spirits of the original host’s deceased elders.

The original host’s negative soul force was halved.

That same night, the old man snuck out into the backyard. He burned some incense and took out some wine. He drank while saying: “Heartless girl, now you can rest in peace.”

“Grandfather, isn’t it dull to drink wine alone when you’re sad? Why don’t I accompany you?”

The sound of wooden wheels rolling came closer, the old man opened his eyes and looked at Gou Liang. There was no wind tonight so the weather was quite warm, but this little guy was still wrapped up tightly like a ball. Fortunately, he was sitting on a wheelchair, otherwise he would have to roll instead of walk.

He was going to reject, but when he saw how Zhong Quan was about to step in, the old man waved his hand instead and said: “Today is a joyous day, there’s no harm in letting him drink a few cups.”

The old man was drinking strong wine, so he only prepared a small cup for Gou Liang. The latter drank it in one gulp. The spiciness was so strong he stuck out his tongue and tears formed in his eyes, but he still enthusiastically held up his cup, wanting the old man to pour him more wine to drink. Zhong Quan saw that he wouldn’t be happy if he didn’t drink, so he could only return to the courtyard to retrieve a bottle of Lin Residence’s home-made grape wine. After warming it up, he gave it to him to drink.

Gou Liang happily drank three cups in one go. As the mellow grape wine entered his stomach, his body gradually began to warm up. The moon in the sky above, good wine in hand, and his loyal Quan by his side—this was the peak of life!

Gou Liang animatedly patted Zhong Quan’s shoulder and said: “Come, let’s go up there. Tonight we drink until we’re drunk!”

The reason Jade Peak Courtyard was called by this name was because in the backyard was a naturally formed stone hill. It was the height of ten people and standing on it, it felt like the sun and moon could be easily plucked with a hand.

The old man also joined in on the fun. Seeing that Zhong Quan wasn’t drinking, he pulled Gou Liang over instead. They matched each other cup for cup. The old man then brought up some mischievous deeds of the past that the original host’s birth mother had done when she was young. He then grumbled how she had poor eyesight. There were so many good men in this world, but she just had to choose one that was short-lived. One old and one young unknowingly drank too much. When Zhong Quan wanted to bring him back, Gou Liang was still unwilling, saying: “How could the moon be without wine, and how can wine be without music?”

He raised the jade xiao, wanting to blow it for them to hear.

Under the moon, the xiao played. On top of the hill, the shadows of two people were casted.

The sound of the xiao was ethereal and moving. The tune carried a magnanimous intent, and those who heard it felt their heart calming and their views broadening, as though they had set down a myriad of burdens. All sorrows, like the sound of the xiao, were carried away by the wind into the distance, while unsolved dilemmas that had been troubling them gradually found an answer in their heart.

The old man, who had originally been laying on the ground, sat up. He tossed the wine cup aside and laughed like he was mad: “I see, haha, I see!”

Saying this, he stumbled off the hill and returned to his room. He impatiently grabbed the fire toads. He couldn’t decide what to do with them, so he had raised them for several months. Now he was finally prepared to kill them to make a poison that had never been seen before.

Zhong Quan quietly gazed at Gou Liang playing the xiao. The things weighing down in his heart were set down and unconsciously, his body became lighter.

【Ding! The target’s favorability value has been updated. Current favorability value: +99！】

Gou Liang opened his eyes and looked at Zhong Quan. The sound of the xiao gradually faded, disappearing into the rivers and mountains.

Setting down the jade xiao, Gou Liang smiled and asked him: “Did it sound good?”

Zhong Quan nodded his head, he crouched down and helped him fix his cloak before asking him softly: “Master, this song, does it have a name?”

“Of course.” Gou Liang handed the jade xiao to the other so he could tie it for him. He then said: “This song is named Asking Heaven. It is the first chapter of the Asking Heaven secret manual. It’s for both asking the Heavens and asking people’s hearts. To listen to this tune is to listen to your heart. No matter what trouble you may face, your heart will always give you the answer…Zhong Quan, were you thinking of anything just then? Did you receive an answer?”

Zhong Quan looked at him hesitatingly.

Gou Liang squeezed his face and said threateningly: “I asked you something, you dare to not reply?”

His hand was very cold. Zhong Quan brought them into his own hands and used his body temperature to warm them up. Seeing Gou Liang smile, his eyes also unconsciously softened.

“There had been a question in this subordinate’s heart.”

“Oh?”

“This subordinate often thinks…Master is of the son of heaven and can ask the heaven for longevity, but Quan is just an ordinary person that will live for a hundred years or perhaps even less. If I die, what will Master do? If I grew old, then what? Quan is unwilling to let other people stay by your side, and is also unwilling…for others to help you detoxify the poison.”

When Gou Liang received the favor of the Heavens, originally he had only been happy. At some unknown time, however, his feelings slowly began to change.

He became greedy. Even if he hugged Master in his arms, and even if the other never left his side, he was still unsatisfied. He wanted forever. He wanted to be the only one. Unfortunately, one’s lifespan was preordained by heaven. He could win against other people, but how can he win against the Heavens? One day when he’s old and could no longer lift Master, or perhaps when his thing was no longer as spirited as before, would his Master still remain as youthful as he is now? Would he only be able to watch as his Master entangled intimately with another…

When he thought of this, it was like his heart had been cruelly stabbed. He hated that he couldn’t kill off all the men in the world before he died.

“Then your answer?”

Gou Liang asked him.

“So long as Zhong Quan is alive for a day longer, he will not allow anyone to approach you. To be able to embrace you for a lifetime is my blessing, and when I die…if Master can keep me in your memories, Quan will be satisfied.”

“Stupid.”

Gou Liang let out a sigh. He stooped and like Zhong Quan had done many times before, he brushed his slightly cold face against the other’s always warm one. Their heads nestled together.

“Master…”

Zhong Quan sought out his lips. He tentatively and carefully kissed the soft lips, and when he saw Gou Liang didn’t refuse him, he smiled and felt joy well in his heart. He kissed the other’s dimples and brought him into his arms with satisfaction.

Gou Liang poured him a cup of grape wine, raised it and said: “Come, today is a joyous day. Accompany me for a cup.”

Zhong Quan drank it from his hand, and saw that Gou Liang’s eyes already showed hints of intoxication. His normally cold countenance was, at this moment, full of smiles like a cat that had stolen a fish. Gou Liang fed him another cup before drinking one himself, letting out a comfortable sigh. After drinking another cup, he turned and focused on the corner of Zhong Quan’s mouth, wanting to feed it to him.

The hand pressed against Zhong Quan’s chest faithfully reported to Gou Liang how that other’s heartbeat had quickened. It was beating so rapidly it felt like it was to jump out. Zhong Quan’s kiss grew deeper and deeper. In the end, it was unknown who drank that mouthful of wine, but neither of them tasted it. They only focused on the entanglement of their tongues.

【Ding, the mission progress bar has increased. Current completion rate: 61%.】

After the kiss, Gou Liang asked him: “Taste good?”

Zhong Quan nodded his head in a daze. He then pecked his lips a couple times more, making distinct sucking sounds.

Gou Liang smiled and scolded that he was getting more and more impudent, yet he leaned his entire body against the other, not even complaining when his lips grew swollen. Instead he raised his head and accommodated him.

Zhong Quan pressed the other’s face against his chest. Only after a long while did he manage to calm his excitement, his voice hoa.r.s.e as he said: “The wind is starting to rise, Master. Let’s head back.”

Gou Liang did not refuse, but he remembered to bring along the bottle of wine. Holding it against his chest, he sneakily took a sip and looked at Zhong Quan. Seeing that he had not discovered him, he happily took another sip. A indulgent and pampering smile hung by Zhong Quan’s mouth. Let him drink until he’s happy.

As a result, Gou Liang inevitably became drunk.

He began to sing He ChongFeng’s 《Drunk in Jianghu》, but on repeat like he could never get tired of singing it.

“Lying drunk in the nine provinces. Hating the mountains and sea, the district of JiangHai is colorless. The Jianghu don’t forget, can’t forget Du Kang…”

Zhong Quan was immersed in watching him. When Gou Liang smiled and asked him if it sounded good, he only knew how to nod. Gou Liang was delighted, and he felt a burst of creative flow. With pa.s.sion, he began to sing ↓↓

“If you like sour and sweet, then eat little honey tangerine~ If you like sour and sweet, I have little lemon here~ If you like sour and sweet, little strawberry is right by your side…”

From next door, there was the sound of a furnace exploding followed by the angry roar of the old man, loud enough to shake the heaven and scare ghosts!

He kicked open the door and walked in, carrying silver needles in his hands. He charged over furiously: “Let me mute him! Otherwise I will kill him!!”

Zhong Quan hugged Gou Liang to his chest and easily dodged aside, letting him run into nothing but empty air.

The old man glowered with rage: “Are you deaf?! Quickly, make him shut up!”

Zhong Quan answered truthfully: “It sounds quite nice.”

Gou Liang hugged him and smiled. He kissed him on the chin and praised him ‘good’. He then opened his mouth and continued to sing:

“Come yah~live freely ah~anyway there’s plenty of time…”

Old man: “…”

From the distance, there was the sound of children crying. The moon hid away and the night became even more still, leaving only a voice singing incessantly throughout the night.