The Rolliad Part 43

Oh! if I had thought that PRETTY could lye, I'd a hired him, I would, for my Scrutiny!

My poor Scrutiny!--My _dear_ Scrutiny!

My heart it down sinks--I wish I could die!

XVIII.

(By SIR JOSEPH MAWBEY.)

Lord BACON hang'd poor HOGG, For murd'ring, without pity, man; And so should PITT, by Gog, That kill-truth, Doctor PRETTYMAN-- For say I will, spite of hip wig, He's far below the _learned Pig!_

XIX.

(By THE SAME.)

Says WRAY to me, which is most witty, The learned Pig, or Parson PRETTY?

Says I, I thinks, the latter is more wiser; PIGGY tells truth alone;--but PRETTY lyes, Sir.

XX.

(NOT by THE SAME.)

Three Parsons for three different patrons writ, For ROCKINGHAM, for PORTLAND, and for PITT The first, in _speaking_ truth alone surpa.s.s'd; The next could _write_ it too--not so the last.-- The pride of Churchmen to be beat was loth-- So PRETTYMAN's the opposite to both!

XXI.

How much must IRELAND, PITT and PRETTY prize!

Who swear, at all events, to _equal--lyes_.

XXII.

------_In vino Veritas_------

PRETTY, the other night, was tripping caught-- Forgive him, PITT; he'll not repeat the fault-- The best may err--misled by wine and youth-- His Rev'rence drank too hard; and told--_the truth!_ Ev'n thou, should generous wine o'ercome thy sense, May'st rashly stumble on the same offence.

XXIII.

There are who think all State affairs The worst of wicked worldly cares, To mingle with the priestly leaven; Yet sure the argument's uncouth---- PRETTY shall _doubly_ spread the truth, A Minister of Earth and Heaven.

XXIV.

While modern Statesmen glean, from priestly tribes, Rev'rend _Commis_, and sanctimonious scribes; 'Tis love of _truth_--yet vain the hope, alas!

To make this _Holy Writ_ for _Gospel_ pa.s.s.

XXV.

Above the pride of worldly fame or show, A virtuous Priest should upwards turn his eyes---- Thus PRETT contemns all _character_ below, And thinks of nothing but the way to _rise_.

XXVI.

'Gainst PRETTY's unholiness vain 'tis to rail; With a courtly Divine that's of little avail; What Parson polite, would not virtue offend, And maintain a _great_ falsehood, to save a _great_ friend?

XXVII.

If St. PETER was made, Of Religion the head, For boldly his master denying; Sure, PRETTY may hope At least to be Pope, For his greater atchievements in lying.

XXVIII.

Says PRETTYMAN, "I'll fib, d'ye see, If you'll reward me freely."

"Lye on (cries PITT) and claim of me The Bishop.r.i.c.k of E--LYE."

XXIX.

'Tis said the _end_ may sanctify the _means_, And pious frauds denote a special grace; Thus PRETTY's lye his master n.o.bly screens-- Himself, good man! but seeks a _better place_.

x.x.x.

"Sons of PATRICK! (cries ORDE) set up shop in your bog, And you'll ruin the trade of JOHN BULL and NICK FROG."

"That's a lye (replies PITT) we shall gain by their riches; If we wear IRISH _s.h.i.+rts_, they must wear ENGLISH _breeches_"

"You both lye (exclaims PRETTY) but I will lye too; And, compar'd with my lye, what you say will seem true!"

x.x.xI.

For pert malignity observ'd alone, In all things else unnotic'd, and unknown; Obscurely odious, PRETTY pa.s.s'd his days, Till more inventive talents won our lays.

"Now write, he cries, an Epigram's my pride: Who wou'd have known me, if I ne'er had ly'd?"

x.x.xII.

With pious whine, and hypocritic snivel, Our fathers said, "_Tell truth_, and _shame the Devil!_"

A n.o.bler way bold PR----TT----N is trying, He seeks to _shame_ the Devil--by outlying,

x.x.xIII.

(In answer to a former.)

No _cloven tongue_ the Doctor boasts from heav'n, Such gifts but little wou'd the Doctor boot; For preaching _Truth_ the _cloven tongues_ were giv'n, His lyes demonstrate more the _cloven foot_.

x.x.xIV.

Maxims, says PRETT, and adages of old, Were circ.u.mscrib'd, though clever; Thus Truth they taught, _not always_ should be told; But I maintain, _not ever_.

x.x.xV.

In the drama of CONGREVE, how charm'd do we read Of _Spintext_ the _Parson_, and _Maskwell_ the _Cheat_, But in life would you study them closer, indeed, For equal originals--see _Downing-street_.

x.x.xVI.