The Rolliad Part 45

[2]Prettyman _to call liar interjection Peetimai_, tooo too, ooo, taata, Allaheueeai!

_Insincere man to cuff liar nasty_ Prettyman Hamaneeno, eparoo, taata, erepo, _Peetimai_.

XII.

_In the language of_ TERRA INCOCNITA (_viz_. AUSTRALIS), _by the noted Mr._ BRUCE.

[A translation is requested by the earliest discoverer, the original being left at the publisher's for his inspection by the author, who has most kindly communicated the following representation of the genuine words, adapted to the ENGLISH type.--May we not presume to suggest the infinite service Mr. M'PHERSON would render to his country, were he generously to embark in the first outward-bound s.h.i.+p for TERRA AUSTRALIS--No man in EUROPE being so well qualified for the useful station of universal linguist and decypherer to the savages--"_I decus, I nostrum._"]

HOT. TOT.

HUM. Sc.u.m.

KIKEN- a.s.s.

HOT. TOT.

ROW. ROW.

KIKEN. a.s.s.

QUIP. LUNK.

NUN. Sk.u.mP.

KISSEN. a.s.s.

TARRAH. DUD.

LICEN. TOCK.

KIKEN. a.s.s. TOT.

We must apologize to several of our more erudite correspondents, for suspending some short time the publication of their most curious epigrams on the Doctor. We have not the least objection to the extra expence necessarily incurred on the present occasion, by the purchase of a variety of antique types. Nay, we have actually contracted with the celebrated CASLON, for the casting of a proper quant.i.ty of the COPTIC and RUNIC characters, in order to the due representation of the PRETTYMANIANA, communicated by Professor WHITE, and Mons. MAILLET.

As it might be some time, however, before Mr. CASLON, even with the a.s.sistance of Mess. FRY and Son's foundery, can furnish us with the PERSIC, SYRIAC, and CHACHTAW types, we cannot promise the Doctor the insertion of the GENTOO REBUS, or the NEW ZEALAND ACROSTIC in the present edition.

[1] We cannot withhold from the good Bishop our particular thanks for his excellent Haxameters, which breathe indeed the spirit both of piety and poetry. We have taken the liberty of subjoining a literal translation, in Latin Prose, to the Epigrams of EUGENIUS, as well as to the distich of Mons. VILLOISON, for the accommodation of the young Students at our Universities.

[2] PEETIMAI is wonderfully near the original PRETTYMAN, considering that, after every effort, the inhabitants of OTAHEITE could not approximate to the name of BANKS nearer than OPANO--nor of COOK, than TOOTE.

ADVERTIs.e.m.e.nT EXTRAORDINARY.

Missing from the genealogies of the new Peers--three FATHERS--five MOTHERS--nine GRANDFATHERS--fourteen GRANDMOTHERS--twenty GREAT-GRANDFATHERS--and nearly twice the number of GREAT-GRANDMOTHERS--also some COMPLETE GENERATIONS OF ANCESTORS.

If any person can give notice at the HERALD's OFFICE of any Fathers, Mothers, Grandfathers, Grandmothers, Great-grandfathers, and Great-grandmothers, worth owning, of the names of C------, D------, H------, L------, P------, E------, &c. &c. &c. so as that the said Fathers, Mothers, Grandfathers, Grandmothers, Great-grandfathers, and Great-grandmothers, may be taken and restored to the advertisers, the person so informing, for every such notice, shall receive ONE GUINEA reward, and no questions shall be asked.

And if any person will undertake to find ANCESTORS BY THE GENERATION, for every regular descent of not less than _three_, and not more than _five_, he shall receive TWO GUINEAS each ancestor; and for every regular descent of not less than _six_, and not more than _ten_, he shall receive FIVE GUINEAS each ancestor, and so in proportion for any greater number.

A HANDSOME COMPLIMENT will also be given, in addition to the rewards above proposed, for ANCESTORS who distinguished themselves under JAMES II. CHARLES II. and CHARLES I. in the cause of PREROGATIVE.

Likewise an extraordinary price will be paid for the discovery of any ANCESTOR of REMOTE ANTIQUITY and HIGH FAMILY; such as the immortal DUKE ROLLO, companion of WILLIAM THE CONQUEROR, and founder of the present ill.u.s.trious family of ROLLE.

N.B. No greater reward will be offered, as THE HERALDS have received directions for making NEW.

VIVE LE SCRUTINY.

CROSS GOSPEL THE FIRST.

----But what says my good LORD BISHOP OF LONDON to this same WESTMINSTER SCRUTINY--this daily combination of rites, _sacred_ and _profane_--ceremonies _religious_ and _political_ under his hallowed roof of ST. ANN'S CHURCH, SOHO? Should his Lords.h.i.+p be unacquainted with this curious process, let him know it is briefly this:--At _ten_ o'clock the HIGH BAILIFF opens his inquisition in the VESTRY, for the PERDITION OF VOTES, where he never fails to be honoured with a crowded audience.--At _eleven_ o'clock the HIGH PRIEST mounts the rostrum in the CHURCH for the SALVATION OF SOULS, without a single _body_ to attend him; even his corpulent wors.h.i.+p, the clerk, after the first introductory AMEN, filing off to the Vestry, to lend a hand towards reaping a quicker harvest!--The alternate vociferations from Church to Vestry, during the different SERVICES, were found to cross each other sometimes in responses so apposite, that a gentleman who writes shorthand was induced to take down part of the Church-medley-dialogue of one day, which he here transcribes for general information, on a subject of such singular importance, _viz_.

HIGH BAILIFF.--I cannot see that _this here fellow_ is a just vote.

CURATE.--"_In thy sight shall no man living be justified._"

Mr. FOX.--I despise the pitiful machinations of my opponents, knowing the just cause of my electors must in the end prevail.

CURATE.--"_And with thy favourable kindness shalt thou defend him as with a s.h.i.+eld._"

WITNESS.--He swore d--n him if he did not give Fox a plumper!

CLERK--"_Good Lord! deliver us._"

Mr. MORGAN.--I stand here as Counsel for Sir CECIL WRAY.

CURATE.--"_A general pestilence visited the land, serpents and_ FROGS _defiled the holy temple._"

Mr. PHILLIPS.--Mr. HIGH BAILIFF, the audacity of that fellow opposite to me would almost justify my chastising him in this sacred place; but I will content myself with rolling his heavy head in the neighbouring kennel.

CURATE.--"_Give peace in our time, O Lord!_"

Sir CECIL WRAY.--I rise only to say thus much, that is, concerning myself--though as for the matter of myself, I don't care, Mr. HIGH BAILIFF, much about it--

Mr. FOX.--Hear! hear! hear!

CURATE.--"_If thou shalt see the a.s.s of him that hateth thee lying under his burthen, thou shalt surely help him._"

Sir CECIL WRAY.--I trust--I dare say--at least I hope I may venture to think--that my Right Hon. friend--I should say enemy--fully comprehends what I have to offer in my own defence.

CURATE.--"_As for me I am a worm, and no man; a very scorn of men, and the outcast of the people!--fearfulness and trembling are come upon me, and an horrible dread overwhelmed me!!!_"

HIGH BAILIFF.--As that _fellow there_ says he did not vote for Fox, who did he poll for?

CURATE.--"BARRABAS!--_now Barrabas was a robber._"

VIVE LE SCRUTINY.

CROSS GOSPEL THE SECOND.