Sweet Liar Part 14

It was some time later when Samantha lay beside him, her body vibrating, her breath short and shallow. She wanted him, wanted him inside her, but she was afraid to tell him so. Once, after she and her ex-husband were first married, shead asked, aCould we do that again?a Instantly he had become furious, telling her that she was saying he was a bad lover. aDonat you know anything? Men canat right away. Itas physically impossible.a Now, she was timid with Michael, not wanting to insult him or make him angry. aMichael,a she said softly, but it was difficult to control her voice. aI was wondering if maybe, we could, well, possibly, do that againa"if you can, that is.a With the fury of a storm at sea, Mike roused from his seeming acquiescence to jump on her, his hands on her hips, fingers digging into muscle and skin, as he slammed into her so hard she was sure head loosened a couple of back teeth. Samantha saw stars.

Mike halted instantly, hovering over her, looking as though he was afraid head killed her. aSam, baby, are you okay? Did I hurt you?a Samantha blinked up at him in surprise. aGolly, Michael, I think you can.a aImp,a he said as he stretched out on his back and pulled her on top of him.

In the manuals shead been given, Samantha had read about different positions, but missionary was the sum total of her experience. Sitting on Mike, she looked down at him with an expression of, Now what do I do?

Lacing his fingers, Mike put his hands behind his head and gave her a look of, You figure it out.

Samantha did.

Lying still beside Mike, her skin sweaty, every muscle in her body limp, Samantha smiled dreamily. aWhat was that?a There was a little smugness in Mikeas voice when he spoke. aSam, my dear, you have just experienced what is commonly known as an o.r.g.a.s.m. Like it?a She chuckled. aMichael, had I known you were capable of producing such an effect, on the first day I met you I would have grabbed you by the neck, pulled you into the house, and had my way with you on the foyer floor.a aThen we would have been in perfect accord, because thatas just what I had in mind for you.a aAhhh, but would you have respected me in the morning?a aSpeaking of respect, we have two alternatives now: One, we can snuggle together and go to sleep or, two, we can fill the tub with hot water, put in some of your smelly stuff, wash every nook and cranny of each otheras bodies, get out, dry each other off, come back in here and I can give you what I think will probably be your very first lesson in oral s.e.x.a Opening her eyes just a bit, Samantha gave a jaw-cracking yawn and said, aIam awfully tired, Mike. Maybe we should sleep.a His face fell, making him look like a boy whoad just been told that he wouldnat get to go to the circus after all. Yawning again, she scratched her ribs. aOn the other hand, I could use a bath.a He had her in the bathroom before she could say another word.

24.

I t was in the bathtub that Mike asked her why shead waited so long before going to bed with him. He tried to make his question sound as though the answer didnat matter to him, but she wasnat fooled by his tone.

aRichard told me I wasnat any good at s.e.x and thatas why he had to go to another woman.a aAnd you believed him?a Mike sounded as though he thought she were the dumbest person in the world.

aHow the h.e.l.l was I to know that he wasnat telling me the truth?a she fairly shouted at him. aHead been to bed with lots of women; Iad been to bed with him and only him. What was I supposed to do, get a second opinion? Was I supposed to go to a bar or somewhere, pick up a man, go to bed with him, and find out whether I was actually bad in bed or not? Let me tell you something, Mr. Confidence, when you believe youare not desirable to men, you b.l.o.o.d.y well arenat desirable.a It was later, after the extraordinary success of Mikeas very special lesson, that he asked her more questions about her ex-husband. Now, rather like boxers resting between rounds, Samantha snuggled her cheek on Mikeas bare chest.

aYou want to tell me about your ex-husband?a he asked.

aNo.a aUm-hmm.a aWhat does that mean?a aIt means that Iave never yet met a woman who could resist telling anyone whoad listen what a jerk her ex-boyfriend or ex-husband was.a Lifting her head, Sam glared at him, but he pushed her head back down. For a moment her pride and her wish to talk warred with one another. She didnat want to tell him about her marriage or her divorce because they both made her feel like a failure, but at the same time shead like to tell someone the trutha"not the sugar-coated version shead told her father, but the truth. Spilling her guts won out over pride.

aThe first two years my marriage was all right, I guess. We never had any great pa.s.sionate affair, but we learned to adjust to each other. Richard had a partners.h.i.+p with two other men in a CPA firm, and I worked at ComputerLand.

aEverything was fine, I thought, but one day he came home and told me he was profoundly unhappy. Profoundly. Not very unhappy or extraordinarily unhappy but profoundly unhappy. He went on to say that the reason he was unhappy was because he had always wanted to write the Great American Novel, and he knew he wasnat going to get to because he had to spend all his time earning a living.a She shook her head. aI was shocked. It was the first time Iad heard of this great ambition of his, and I felt guilty because Iad lived with the man for two whole years and had no idea he wanted to do anything except calculate peopleas taxes. We sat up all that night and talked.a Pausing, she thought about that night. aI think that night was the closest we ever were before or at any time afterward. We made a bargain that night that for one year I was to support the two of us while he devoted his time to writing. Part of the bargain was that he was to take care of the house since Iad be holding down two jobs.a She couldnat seem to keep her anger from rising. aI donat know what happened. It started out all right, but then Iad come home from work and the kitchen would still be a mess from breakfast, so Iad clean it up before going to my evening job at the spa, then the laundry would pile up so Iad wash it on Sunday. By the end of a year I was doing everythinga"housework, earning the living, everything. But I didnat mind because every Sunday afternoon Richard would read me descriptive pa.s.sages from the marvelous book he was constantly working on. Head never tell me the plot, head just read me those elegant, isolated paragraphs.a She had to take a breath before going on. aWe used to talk about what we were going to buy and where we were going to go when he received his multimillion-dollar advance for the book. Planning our future helped make me feel less tired so that I didnat mind doing housework and earning the living.a As Mike stroked her hair, she realized that the time with Richard was beginning to fade in her mind. aBut the agreed-upon year turned into eighteen months, then into two years, and by the end of two years I was so tired Iam not sure I was even alive.a Mike felt her body tense as she continued speaking. aBut then one day I was at the store and received a call from my fatheras neighbor.a Mike didnat say anything, but he had been with Dave then. He was the one who had persuaded Dave to allow the neighbor to call Sam.

aThe neighbor told me my father was dying, and when I heard, I just wanted to go home to Richard and have him hold me.a She gave a little snort of derision. aWhen I heard the news of my fatheras impending death, I thought Iad reached my breaking point.

aAnyway, when I got home Richard wasnat there. I must have been a little frantic because I began searching through his desk looking for something that might tell me where head gone. When that turned up nothing, I went to his bookshelves. Looking back on it, I think Richard must have thought I wouldnat dare look at his books because he hadnat gone to a lot of trouble to hide his conspiracy. The books had markers in them and pa.s.sages highlighted. One by one I read all the pa.s.sages head read to me during the Sunday afternoons. Not one of them had been written by him, all of them were by other writers.a She took a breath. aBy the time I figured out that he hadnat been writing, I wanted to know what he had been doing for those two years, so I looked at his computer. One of the first things head asked me to do when Iad set it up for him was to show him how to encode his files so a person had to know a pa.s.sword to read them. It took me only seven words to find his pa.s.sworda"the name of a dog head had when he was a boya"and I looked to see what head been writing.a She took a while before going on, and Mike didnat say a word, just waited patiently for her to continue. aOn the screen was a detailed diary of his s.e.xual liaisons with the woman who used to be his secretary. To this day, Mike, I donat understand why he chose her over me. I donat want to sound vain, but Iam better looking than she is and a great deal more intelligent, and I have a sense of humor whereas she has none. I still donat understand it. I tried very, very hard to please Richard. I tried to give him whatever he wanted. Where did I fail?a aWhen did he give you the s.e.x manuals to read?a aOh, that. I put my foot in my mouth. After wead been married a few months, we went to see a moviea"I donat remember what it wasa"but afterward I thoughtlessly said that I didnat understand what all the fuss was about, as s.e.x was so boring. Richard said that maybe our s.e.x lives wouldnat be so boring if I just knew a little about s.e.x.a aAnd how did you do at your jobs? Successful?a She smiled. aYes. I was always being promoted at ComputerLand, and at the spa they had me teach the instructors.a aAnd how was Richardas CPA business?a aI see what youare getting at. He did all right for a while, but then he lost some clients and I think his partners were planning to get rid of him.a aSounds to me like you terrified him.a She sighed. aYou know, that did occur to me a few times. I learned to tell him only of my setbacks and my frustrations. Head listen to my account of something that had gone wrong, then lecture me about how I should have done so and so, and afterward head be nice to me for days. I kept promotions to myself, but he saw them reflected in my paychecks.a aMaybe this other woman looked up to him, thought he was her big, strong hero.a aJackrabbits would seem brainy to that woman. I used to spend Friday afternoons trying to help Richard by teaching her how to run the office, how to answer the phone by saying something other than, aYeah, whatadaya want?a She was stupid, plain, thick-waisted, thick-ankled, and never washed her hair. She was rude and tasteless and couldnat comprehend a jokea"and she took my husband away from me. When we were getting the divorce, Richard said she was a great deal better in bed than I was. He said that plastic dolls were better in bed than I was.a aAnd he knew that from experience?a Samantha giggled. aMaybe a doll would give him someone pretty to look at now and then. Oh, Mike, I donat understand it. Why would someone want to hear of the failures but not the successes of someone they loved? I knew Richard was frustrated in his job. Thatas why I agreed to support us and give him a chance at big-time success, but he never even tried writing. I donat think he so much as wrote a single chapter. He used the two years to ski and play tennis andaandaa aBang his secretary.a aYes! If he disliked me, why didnat he just ask me for a divorce, then have an affair? Why did he have to make me so miserable?a aMaybe he thought it was fair to make you unhappy since you were making him wretched.a aMe? But I did everything for him. I supported him, cooked for him, cleaned for him, ironed his s.h.i.+rts, hand-washed his sweatersa"a aYou did all that and still managed to be a success at two jobs? Itas a wonder he didnat kill you.a aYouare taking his side!a she half shouted as she started to move away from him.

But he pulled her back to him. aYour ex-husband was a stupid, frightened coward, and his lifelong punishment is that he lost you.a She hugged him, kissed his shoulder. aOh Mike. I tried so hard to be what he wanted me to be.a When Mike spoke, there was a definite whine in his voice. aYou donat try very hard with me. You havenat hand-washed anything for me, and I didnat even know you could iron.a She didnat laugh in return but was utterly serious. aAs far as I can tell, all you want from me is laughter and s.e.x.a aFound out at last. Meet Michael Taggert, the personification of shallowness.a Looking up at him, her eyes were filled with what she felt for him. aNo, Michael, youare not shallow. Richard was shallow. Shallow and superficial and petty. Youayou know how to love.a As he kissed the top of her head, he put his hand on her bare breast. aEspecially right now. Wanta play asit on the tent polea?a aNot again?a she said, giggling. aI donat know if Iam ready again so soon.a aWant me to talk you into it?a aYes, please,a she said politely, sounding as though she were asking for a second watercress sandwich. aIf you wouldnat mind, that is.a But Michael had his mouth full and couldnat speak.

25.

S amantha woke after only about an houras sleep, but shead never felt better in her life. She had to pry her body from under Mikeas, lifting his sleep-heavy arms and legs from over her body before slipping out of the bed. Taking the robe shead appropriated from the back of the bathroom door, she slipped it on and started to leave the room. But she turned back to stand beside the bed, looking down at him as he slept, limbs sprawled across the sheets, relaxed.

Her life was changed now, she thought. Changed forever. Irrevocably changed.

Last night with Mike had changed her, had made her feel freer inside than she had ever felt. Smiling down at him, she realized that she had been changing from the first moment shead met Mike. The prim, frightened little mouse whoad ridden in her first cab was not the same woman who had done the incredible things shead done with Mike last night.

It was odd that she was one way with her ex-husband and another with Mike. Richard had not approved of Samantha when shead laughed too loud or been exuberant about anything, whether she was happy about a promotion or a book she was reading or anything at all. Maybe Mike was right and her being anything but sedate frightened Richard.

For a moment Samantha leaned over the bed and touched Mikeas hair. She didnat frighten Mike because he was sure of himself, sure of who he was and what he was, and Samanthaas vitality pleased him rather than scared him.

A curl of his hair twined about her fingers. If angels were real, she thought, theyad have hair just like Michaelas.

Smiling at her own sentimentality, she left the room to go upstairs to her apartment to get some clothes.

The first thing she noticed about her apartment was that the door Mike had put his foot through had been replaced, but shead known he was going to have it done so it didnat surprise her. After opening the door, she halted, thinking she was in the wrong room and turned away, but then she turned back. Of course this was her apartment, she told herself, but it was now very different.

The walls of the living room were still dark green but now the curtains were of cream-colored chintz printed with big dark pink roses gathered on a ribbon of green the exact shade of the walls. A fat club chair, upholstered in the same chintz, was next to a large couch covered in a rose pink the same shade as the roses in the chintz. An Aubusson rug picked up the pink and green of the furniture. Behind the couch was a long, narrow table of light-colored wood, marquetry baskets on the leaves and the top. Two black papier-mch sewing tables, their surfaces wrinkled with age, were at either ends of the couch.

Walking slowly, as though if she moved too fast, the dream might evaporate, she went toward the bedroom, and upon entering, she drew in her breath.

The bedroom was done in shades of blue, what looked to be hundreds of shades of blue, ranging from very dark to so light as to be hardly discernible as blue. The walls were papered in a stripe of two shades of ice blue and the windows were curtained with a dark blue silk that was almost purple. In the middle of the room was a huge four-poster draped in an airy cotton of the palest blue imaginable. When she walked near the bed and looked up, she saw that the underside of the canopy was done in what she knew was called a sunburst design, with the fabric radiating from a central medallion in tiny gathers out to the edge of the frame. The spread of the bed was a fine, soft blue cotton trapunto-st.i.tched in a design of flowering tendrils.

aDo you like it?a Mike asked from behind her.

She turned to him, so overcome with emotion that she was unable to speak. That head done this for her, done this beautiful thing, was beyond her understanding. As she looked at him she remembered the night shead spent in his arms and she knew that now she was free to touch him, touch him any time she wanted.

Her arms slid around his neck, hugging him to her. aThank you,a she whispered. aThank you very much.a aWant to try out the bed?a he asked, kissing her neck.

She laughed. aI wouldnat want to mess it up.a aWeall be careful,a he said enticingly as he took her hand and started leading her toward the bed.

It was as she was climbing onto the bed that she looked at the pretty blue clock on the bedside table. aMike! Itas nine-fifteen. The furniture is to be delivered to the nursing home at ten oaclock.a aTheyall figure out where to put what,a he said, drawing her onto the bed.

But Samantha pulled back. aWe have to be there.a With a groan, Mike lay back against the pillows, each of them edged with Battenburg lace. aIall go only if you promise to spend the afternoon in bed with me.a aIf I must,a she said with a big, weary sigh.

When Mike made a lunge for her, she squealed and ran for the bathroom, where she pulled up short. The bathroom still had dark green fixtures and the countertop was still covered in dark green marble, but now all the accessories, even the light fixtures, were in the palest pink. Pink gla.s.s jars ranged along the back of the countertop and along the wall of the tub; beautiful pink towels monogrammed with SE hung from the racks; and the walls above the green tile were papered with a design of pink roses.

She turned to Mike standing behind her. aWho did this?a aJeanne.a aYour sister?a When he nodded, Samantha started asking questions about how shead been able to do it all in so short a time, when had Mike arranged it, and how had he known this was exactly what she liked? On and on the questions went as she ran from one room to the other looking at everything, Mike behind her, basking in her obvious pleasure.

During the night she had told him that Blair had told her about his money, and he had been very glad to see that it hadnat seemed to affect her. Now, he thought that he was freed from keeping secrets from her. He no longer had to be careful not to mention the family jet; now he could share with her the good news when a stock split and earned him a quarter of a million dollars; now he could buy her that little gold watch shead nearly swooned over in Tiffanyas windows.

aIf you donat get dressed,a he said, ayouare going to miss the delivery of the furniture.a After one more very grateful kiss to Mike, a kiss that almost made them even later, Samantha ran to get dressed. It was while she was in Mikeas bathroom, where her makeup was, that she said to him, aYou know what really bothers me about that nursing home?a Reaching around her, trying to get to his shaving lather, he said, aBesides the smell of the place, besides the personnel, besides the ugliness?a aYes, besides all of that. There is nothing to do in that place. I donat remember seeing so much as a magazine anywhere. If Jubilee had been put in a place like that and his piano was taken away from him, I doubt if he would have lived past eighty.a Mike looked at the three square inches of mirror that Samantha had left him and said, aIf you hurry and get dressed weall have time to stop on Fifth Avenue and pick up some books to take to your grandmother.a Samantha laughed. aMichael Taggert, is that a bribe to get me out of your bathroom?a aWill it work if it is?a aYes,a she said, and after planting a kiss on his shoulder, she scurried into the bedroom.

Minutes later they entered the revolving door of a big Fifth Avenue bookstore. Mike was surprised to see that Sam was not only no longer afraid of revolving doors, but seemed to have mastered them.

When they were inside, Samantha turned to Mike, feeling a little shy. Head said she could buy magazines, but how many? What with her several shopping excursions, she envisioned her credit card being run through the little machine and the machine, like a cartoon character, clutching its belly and laughing. aUh, Mike,a she began, awhat kind of budget do I have?a aMoney or time?a he asked impatiently.

aBoth.a Looking at his watch, he said, aYou may buy everything that you can get to the cash register within twelve point six minutes.a aPoint six?a aItas now point four.a Samantha had once read that where women made their big mistake in marriage was the morning after the wedding. In an effort to please their husbands, they often made them breakfast and served it to them in bed, thinking that this morning was special and that they would only do this on aspeciala mornings. But the man took the breakfast in bed as an indication of what to expect for the rest of their married lives and was therefore disappointed over the coming years whenever he had to eat breakfast at a table.

It wasnat as though theyad been married yesterday, but theyad, well, experienced some togetherness. Now Mike wasnat looking at her with l.u.s.t, but looking at her as though he were herawell, her husband. He was being patronizing and she didnat like it. No doubt he thought shead pick up a couple of books and a few magazines, then head smile in a fatherly way and say something like, aAre you happy now?a Samantha smiled at him. She was going to show him that she wasnat going to be like the bride who brought her husband breakfast in bed, and she was going to teach him a lesson in the process. He was rich enough to afford what she was going to do to him in the next twelve minutes.

aOkay, Mr. Got-Rocks, youare on,a she said with one eyebrow raised in challenge as she turned to the clerk behind the register. aI need two shopping bags, FAST!a The bored young woman handed them to her.

Samantha first made her way to the mystery section, since she knew something about those books. Grabbing all of the Nancy Pickard, Dorothy Cannell, Anne Perry, and Elizabeth Peters books off the shelves, she dumped them into the open bags at her feet.

Standing near her in the science fiction section was a tall, well-dressed man who was pretending that he wasnat watching what she was doing. Samantha had noticed in the time shead lived there that New Yorkers liked to pretend that they were sophisticated, that theyad seen everything there was to be seen, but the truth of the matter was that they were insatiably curiousa"in fact, nosy. They were always aware of what the person next to them was doing, always trying to see something they hadnat seen before, for New Yorkers seemed to Samantha to love anything out of the ordinary. Itas just that it takes a lot to do something a New Yorker considers extraordinary.

When this man saw Samantha frantically dumping books into the bags, he asked, aAre you entering a contest?a Curiosity always overrides manners in a New Yorker.

aYes,a Samantha said. aIam with a nursing home and I get to keep all the books I can buy within twelve minutes.a At that the manas face lit up. aMay others help you?a aOf course,a Samantha said. Mike had said nothing about others helping or not.

aI might be able to choose science fiction for you and my wife could help with the bestsellers list.a Within four minutes flat, everyone in the store knew about the lady in the contest and everyone wanted to help. Two tall black boys with razored haircuts (one of them with a Z on his temple) asked if she wanted some magazines.

When Samantha said, aOne of each,a the boys looked as though theyad won the jackpot. With a jump, they slapped hands, then took off for the big magazine stand.

A man with two children volunteered to select games, and a woman said shead buy audiotapes. A very nerdy-looking young man said he could pick out videos for her When the twelve minutes were up, Samantha skidded to a halt before the register with her arms full of Silhouette romances and the stacks and stacksa"and stacksa"of books, tapes, magazines, and videos in front of the check-out counter startled her. But she wasnat going to back down.

aIs this all yours?a the clerk gasped, her eyes wide. When Samanthaa"not looking at Mike who had been watching her in disbeliefa"nodded, the girl said she had to get the manager.

By the time the manager got to the register, everyone in the store, most of whom had partic.i.p.ated in the buying, were standing to one side and watching solemnly.

aI hope you can pay for all of this,a the manager said sternly.

Samantha nodded as the clerk picked up the first book and held the electronic eye over the code bar, but then Samantha yelled, aWait!a and everyone drew in his collective breath. Was Samantha going to chicken out?

aWhat kind of discount are you going to give me?a she asked the manager.

At that the New Yorkers burst into approving applause, for they recognized one of their own. It was a bit later, after quite a bit of discussion that involved several people, that a discount of twelve and a half percent was agreed upon.

After all the purchases were rung up and Mike had paid with his credit card, the people helped carry the many bags into the street to get a taxi. They had the misfortune/luck to get one of the rare taxis with a native New York driver who told them they could not put all that stuff in his vehicle. There is nothing a New Yorker likes more than controversy so there erupted a bit of a adiscussion.a Tourists began taking pictures of the real, live, honest-to-G.o.d New Yorkers having an argument in the middle of the sidewalk. Theyad heard about such things happening but hadnat really believed it was done; their mothers had taught them to argue only in private.

aI did it,a Samantha said when she and Mike were alone in the taxi. But then maybe alone wasnat the right word, for covered wagons hadnat been packed as solidly as this car was. She had two bags in her lap, four under her legs and two behind her back. A Judith McNaught audiotape was protruding from her purse (she thought she might listen to it before pa.s.sing it on) and gouging her right kidney rather painfully. aTwelve minutes flat. Right on time.a Mike was looking over the very long register tapes. aTwelve minutes to drag half the store to the counter, eleven minutes to haggle over the price with all the gusto of an Egyptian camel merchant; seventeen minutes to tie up three registers and use four rolls of paper, and thirteen minutes to pack the taxi while half of New York gave me directions on how to do it. Yes, Sam, weare right on time.a Leaning across two shopping bags, she smiled at him. aDo you mind?a aNo,a he said honestly, reaching out to caress her cheek. The patronizing look was gone and in its place was again that look of desire.

Still smiling, Samantha leaned back against the bags. It didnat look as though Mike was going to expect her to be a docile little thing who served him breakfast in bed.

Since the movers didnat bother to arrive on time, Sam and Mike arrived only twenty minutes after they did to find Maxie sitting up in bed and giving orders to the three robust young men who were sweating as they hauled the furniture into the room. A doctor had a stethoscope to her heart.

aLady, we already told you that we just move things, we donat hang pictures,a one of the men was saying.

aWell, Nana,a Samantha said upon entering the room, ait looks as though you have everything under control.a She kissed Maxieas cheek as the doctor straight-end up, then after head left the room, Samantha started telling her all about what Mike had done to her apartment, then how Mike had bought so many books and magazines and how Mike said this and did that anda"

Mike left the room with the doctor. aHow is she?a aFailing,a the doctor said, then grinned. aBut sheas happy while sheas here. I wish all my patients had a couple of fairy G.o.dmothers like the two of you. But go easy on the booze, all right?a aShe brought chocolates today.a aFine,a the doctor said, then grew serious. aI hope your wife is prepared for Abbyas death.a aYeah, Samas prepared for death,a Mike said, no longer smiling. aSheas had lots of rehearsal time. Lots.a It was three hours later when the telephone beside Samanthaas newly decorated bed began ringing and Michael realized that it was his own line and pushed the appropriate b.u.t.ton. After removing Samanthaas ankle from his ear and replacing it with the telephone receiver, Mike said, ah.e.l.lo?a aMichael? Is that you?a aMom! Good to hear your voice. You sound so close.a Samantha untangled herself from Mike with the speed of a preacheras daughter caught naked at a revival meeting and sat up primly, the covers clutched to her neck.

aOh, G.o.d, no,a Mike was saying, his voice filled with trepidation, then looking up at Samantha, he saw that shead gone whitea"as though she thought head just heard of someoneas death. Mike put his hand over the receiver. aMy family has come to New York to meet you.a After the long moment it took for the meaning of those words to sink into Samanthaas brains, she collapsed back against the bed. She almost, almost wished it had been a death.

aHow many of you are there?a Mike asked then paused. aOh? That many, huh?a Pause. aDad come too?a Pause. aGreat, itall be good to see everyone and Iam sure the kids will have a good time.a Mikeas face changed from mere dread to horror. aMom, Frank didnat come, did he? Tell me Frank didnat come too.a Pause. aWell yes, of course Iall be glad to see him, and no, Raine and I didnat scratch his precious car.a Pause. aSam? Oh, sheas here with me.a Samantha watched Mikeas face turn red.

aMother! Iam shocked by you. Okay, okay, weall be there just as soon as we get draer, ah, as soon as we can. See you in a few minutes.a As he hung up the telephone, Samantha could hear Mikeas mother laughing.

For a moment they lay on the bed, not touching, both looking up at the underside of the canopy.

aWhy?a Samantha whispered.

Mike rolled on his side and ran his finger down her bare stomach. aI told you: They want to meet you.a aWhy do they want to meet me? What have you told them aboutaus? Did you tell them that weathat wea?a Mike grinned at her. aOne of the major reasons I left Colorado was because of things like that call. But it didnat do any good to come to New York, they still know everything about me. But to answer your question, no, I didnat tell them about us, but Iam sure Raine did and Blair did and Jeanne and Vicky did. I donat know why I left Colorado, since itas a regular convention of Taggerts and Montgomerys right here in New York.a She rolled toward him. aOh, Mike, Iam scared. What if they donat like me?a aHow could they not? I like you.a aBut youave wanted to go to bed with me.a aWhat does that mean? That Iam indiscriminate? That if sheas pretty and s.e.xy and I want to go to bed with her, then Iall like her?a aHow in the world can you separate pretty and s.e.xy and wanting to go to bed with someone from liking them?a Mike gave a shrug that was the male equivalent of, I donat know and donat plan to a.n.a.lyze it.

Samantha got off the bed. aWhat am I going to wear? The pink Chanel or the red Valentino or the gray Dior?a aJeans. Theyare in Central Park having a picnic, and thereas over a hundred of them.a Samantha sat down heavily. It would have been nice if there had been a chair placed where she sat, but there wasnat.

Moving to the edge of the bed to hang over the side and look down at her sitting on the floor, stark naked, legs crossed, Mike smiled. aYou want to try the guest bedroom before we leave?a Samantha groaned.

aCome on, Sammy-girl, how bad can it be? A hundred people inspecting you, asking you personal questions, my mother wanting to know if youare a fit person to live with her precious son, the other wives looking you over, my fathera"a She hit him in the face with a pillow.

26.

I t was over an hour before they made it to Central Park because Samantha and Mike nearly had a fight when Mike wanted her to wear skintight jeans and a red T-s.h.i.+rt with no bra. Perhaps the argument had gone farther than it need have because shead as soon have a fight as go to the park and be put under the scrutiny of a hundred of Mikeas relatives.

When they finally did reach the park, Mike pointed. aThere they are.a It took Samantha a moment to realize that the group of people shead a.s.sumed was the entire population of one of those oddly named European countries was Mikeas relatives. There werenat a hundred of them, there were at least four hundred, maybe five, she thought. Without a conscious thought, Samantha turned on her heel and started back toward the safety of Fifth Avenue, but Mike caught her arm. Smiling and teasing her all the way from the town house to the park, he seemed to be enjoying himself immensely, so it took a moment for him to see that she wasnat kidding, that she was indeed petrified with fear.

Turning to look at his family, at the zillions of kids running around, at the chumminess of them all, he thought that maybe Sam was right to be a little nervous.

aStay here and Iall get something to calm you down,a he said as he started toward his family.

aMichael!a Samantha hissed at him. aI do not want something to drink!a But Mike didnat hear her or else he ignored her, as he was already at the first table that was set up under the trees. Half behind a bush, half exposed so she could watch, Samantha saw Mike walk to a woman sitting on a chair under a tree, holding what appeared to be a nursing infant. Mike spoke to the woman for a few minutes, she nodded, then pulled the child from her breast and handed the baby to Mike.

As though the sight of Mike taking a child from its motheras breast werenat enough, the fact that no one at the gathering said anything to him was, in Samanthaas eyes, quite odd. She knew he hadnat seen any of them in at least two months and they had come all the way from Colorado and some from Maine to see him, so why did they say nothing when he walked into the midst of them?

A moment later he was in front of her and was offering her the drowsy baby as though he were a bouquet of flowers.

Samantha took a step backward. aMike, I donat know anything about babies.a aYou didnat know anything about s.e.x either but you learned,a he said, smiling lecherously. aTake him.a Looking at the baby he held, she thought shead never seen anything so beautiful as this pink and white creature. There was milk on the babyas chin, and she used the blanket edge to wipe it away.

aHe needs to be burped.a Watching with great interest, she saw Mike expertly unwind the blanket from the baby, exposing fat arms and legs, a plastic-coated diaper, and a little s.h.i.+rt. Draping the blanket over Samanthaas shoulder, he then pressed the child to her until she was forced to take it into her arms.

Instinct and desire went together to make Samantha gather the child to her.

aA perfect fit,a Mike said, leaning forward to kiss her mouth softly. aNow jostle him around a bit, thump him on the back, and get a belch out of him.a aLike this?a aPerfect.a When the baby gave an enormous burp, she looked at Mike with eyes that said shead accomplished the most wondrous feat in the world, making him laugh, but she could tell that he was proud of her.

aYouare Uncle Mike,a said a voice some distance below them. They looked down to see a very pretty little girl, about eight years old, golden brown hair perfectly curled and arranged, wearing a divine little white dress with hand-embroidered rosebuds across the front and white shoes and stockings.

aWell, Miss Lisa,a Mike said, aarenat you the fas.h.i.+on plate for a picnic? Wheread you get that dress?a aBergdorfas, of course,a she said smugly. aItas the only place to shop in New York.a aArenat you a little sn.o.b?a Unperturbed, the child looked up at her uncle with flirty eyes and stuck out her foot. aBut I got the shoes at Lamstonas,a she said, speaking of a popular dime store in New York.

Laughing, Mike scooped her off the ground, buried his face in her neck, and began to make disgusting noises. The noises seemed to be a silent call for children, for they seemed to emerge from every part of the park, from behind trees and rocks, running across fieldsa"and they all attacked Mike. One st.u.r.dy little boy attached himself to Mikeas leg, sitting on his foot, while two identical twin girls took the other leg. Mike held Lisa with one arm while she fought the children who tried to climb up Mike, yelling, aI found him first!a Within minutes Mike looked like a Zuni storyteller doll with children hanging off the front of him, arms around his neck, legs hanging down his back, and two boys swinging from the arm that wasnat holding Lisa.