Real Life In London Part 35

Come, thou grape-encircled Boy!

From thy blissful seats above, Crown the present hours with joy, Bring me wine and bring me love: Fill the sparkling b.u.mper high, Let us drain the bottom dry.

Bacchus, o'er my yielding lip Spread the produce of thy vine; Love, thy arrows gently dip, Temp'ring them with generous wine: Fill the sparkling b.u.mper high, Let us drain the bottom dry."

In the mean time, the enemy of life was making rapid strides upon them unheeded, till Dashall reminded Merrywell of their intended visit to the East; and that as he expected a large portion of amus.e.m.e.nt in that quarter, he proposed a move.

They were by this time all well primed--ripe for a rumpus--bang-up for a lark or spree, any where, any how, or with any body; they therefore took leave of their present scene of gaiety.~269~~

CHAPTER XVIII

"Wand'ring with listless gait and spirits gay, They Eastward next pursued their jocund way; With story, joke, smart repartee and pun, Their business pleasure, and their object fun."

IT was a fine moonlight evening, and upon leaving the Globe, they again found themselves in the hurry, bustle, and noise of the world. The glare of the gas-lights, and the rattling of coaches, carts and vehicles of various-descriptions, mingled with

"The busy hum of men,"

attracted the attention of their eyes and ears, while the exhilarating juice of the bottle had given a circulation to the blood which enlivened imagination and invigorated fancy. Bob conceived himself in Elysium, and Frank Harry was as frisky as a kitten. The first object that arrested their progress was the house of Mr. Hone, whose political Parodies, and whose trials on their account, have given him so much celebrity. His window at the moment exhibited his recent satirical publication ent.i.tled a Slap at Slop and the Bridge Street Gang.{1}

1 The great wit and humour displayed in this publication have deservedly ent.i.tled it to rank high among the jeu desprit productions of this lively age--to describe it were impossible--to enjoy it must be to possess it; but for the information of such of our readers as are remote from the Metropolis, it may perhaps be necessary to give something like a key of explanation to its t.i.tle. A certain learned Gentleman, formerly the Editor of the Times, said now to be the Conductor of the New Times, who has by his writings rendered himself obnoxious to a numerous cla.s.s of readers, has been long known by the t.i.tle of Dr. Slop; in his publication, denominated the mock Times, and the Slop Pail, he has been strenuous in his endeavours to support and uphold a Society said to mis-call themselves The Const.i.tutional Society, but now denominated The Bridge Street Gang; and the publication alluded to, contains humorous and satirical parodies, and sketches of the usual contents of his Slop Pail; with a Life of the learned Doctor, and an account of the origin of the Gang.

~270~~ "Here," said Tom, "we are introduced at once into a fine field of observation. The inhabitant of this house defended himself in three different trials for the publication of alleged impious, profane, and scandalous libels on the Catechism, the Litany, and the Creed of St.

Athanasius, with a boldness, intrepidity, and perseverance, almost unparalleled, as they followed in immediate succession, without even an allowance of time for bodily rest or mental refreshment."

"Yes," continued Frank Harry, "and gained a verdict on each occasion, notwithstanding the combined efforts of men in power, and those whose constant practice in our Courts of Law, with learning and information at their fingers ends, rendered his enemies fearful antagonists."

"It was a n.o.ble struggle," said Tallyho; "I remember we had accounts of it in the country, and we did not fail to express our opinions by subscriptions to remunerate the dauntless defender of the rights and privileges of the British subject."

"_Tip us your flipper_"{1} said Harry---"then I see you are a true bit of the bull breed--one of us, as I may say. Well, now you see the spot of earth he inhabits--zounds, man, in his shop you will find amus.e.m.e.nt for a month--see here is The House that Jack Built--there is the Queen's Matrimonial Ladder, do you mark?--What think you of these qualifications for a Gentleman?

"In love, and in liquor, and o'ertoppled with debt, With women, with wine, and with duns on the fret."

There you have the Nondescript--

"A something, a nothing--what none understand, Be-mitred, be-crowned, but without heart or hand; There's Jack in the Green too, and Noodles, alas!

"Who doodle John Bull of gold, silver, and bra.s.s.

"Come," said Dashall, "you must cut your story short; I know if you begin to preach, we shall have a sermon as long as from here to South America, so allons;" and with this impelling his Cousin forward, they

1 Tip us your Flipper--your mawley--your daddle, or your thieving hook; are terms made use of as occasions may suit the company in which they are introduced, to signify a desire to shake hands.

~271~~ approached towards Saint Paul's, chiefly occupied in conversation on the great merit displayed in the excellent designs of Mr. Cruikshank, which embellish the work they had just been viewing; nor did they discover any thing further worthy of notice, till Bob's ears were suddenly attracted by a noise somewhat like that of a rattle, and turning sharply round to discover from whence it came, was amused with the sight of several small busts of great men, apparently dancing to the music of a weaver's shuttle.{1}

"What the devil do you call this?" said he--"is it an exhibition of wax-work, or a model academy?"

"Neither," replied Dashall; "this is no other than the shop of a well-known dealer in stockings and nightcaps, who takes this ingenious mode of making himself popular, and informing the pa.s.sengers that

"Here you may be served with all patterns and sizes, From the foot to the head, at moderate prices;"

with woolens for winter, and cottons for summer--Let us move on, for there generally is a crowd at the door, and there is little doubt but he profits by those who are induced to gaze, as most people do in London, if they can but entrap attention. Romanis is one of those gentlemen who has contrived to make some noise in the world by puffing advertis.e.m.e.nts, and the circulation of poetical handbills. He formerly kept a very small shop for the sale of hosiery nearly opposite the East-India House, where he supplied the Sailors after receiving their pay for a long voyage, as well as their Doxies, with the articles in which he deals, by obtaining permission to style himself "Hosier to the Rt. Hon. East India Company."

Since which, finding his trade increase and his purse extended, he has extended his patriotic views of clothing the whole population of London by opening shops in various parts, and has at almost all times two or three depositories for

1 Romanis, the eccentric Hosier, generally places a loom near the door of his shops decorated with small busts; some of which being attached to the upper movements of the machinery, and grotesquely attired in patchwork and feathers, bend backwards and forwards with the motion of the works, apparently to salute the spectators, and present to the idea persons dancing; while every pa.s.sing of the shuttle produces a noise which may be a.s.similated to that of the Rattlesnake, accompanied with sounds something like those of a dancing-master beating time to his scholars. ~272~~ his stock. At this moment, besides what we have just seen, there is one in Gracechurch Street, and another in Sh.o.r.editch, where the pa.s.sengers are constantly a.s.sailed by a little boy, who stands at the door with some bills in his hand, vociferating--Cheap, cheap."

"Then," said Bob, "wherever he resides I suppose may really be called Cheapside?"

"With quite as much propriety," continued Ton, "as the place we are now in; for, as the Irishman says in his song,

"At a place called Cheapside they sell every thing dear."

During this conversation, Mortimer, Merrywell, and Harry were amusing themselves by occasionally addressing the numerous Ladies who were pa.s.sing, and taking a peep at the shops--giggling with girls, or admiring the taste and elegance displayed in the sale of fas.h.i.+onable and useful articles--justled and impeded every now and then by the throng.

Approaching Bow Church, they made a dead stop for a moment.

"What a beautiful steeple!" exclaimed Bob; "I should, though no architect, prefer this to any I have yet seen in London."

"Your remark," replied Dashall, "does credit to your taste; it is considered the finest in the Metropolis. St. Paul's displays the grand effort of Sir Christopher Wren; but there are many other fine specimens of his genius to be seen in the City. His Latin Epitaph in St. Paul's may be translated thus: 'If you seek his monument, look around you;' and we may say of this steeple, 'If you wish a pillar to his fame, look up.' The interior of the little church, Walbrook,{1} (St. Stephen's) is likewise considered a

1 This church is perhaps unrivalled, for the beauty of the architecture of its interior. For harmony of proportion, grace, airiness, variety, and elegance, it is not to be surpa.s.sed. It is a small church, built in the form of a cross. The roof is supported by Corinthian columns, so disposed as to raise an idea of grandeur, which the dimensions of the structure do not seem to promise. Over the centre, at which the princ.i.p.al aisles cross, is a dome divided into compartments, the roof being part.i.tioned in a similar manner, and the whole finely decorated. The effect of this build-ing is inexpressibly delightful; the eye at one glance embracing a plan full and distinct, and afterwards are seen a greater number of parts than the spectator was prepared to expect. It is known and admired on the Continent, as a master-piece of art. Over the altar is a fine painting of the martyrdom of St. Stephen, by West.

~273~~ _chef d'ouvre_ of the same artist, and serves to display the versatility of his genius."

Instead however of looking up, Bob was looking over the way, where a number of people, collected round a bookseller's window, had attracted his attention.

"Apropos," cried Dashall,--"The Temple of Apollo--we should have overlook'd a fine subject, but for your remark--yonder is Tegg's Evening Book Auction, let us cross and see what's going on. He is a fellow of 'infinite mirth and good humour,' and many an evening have I pa.s.sed at his Auction, better amused than by a farce at the Theatre."

They now attempted to cross, but the intervening crowd of carriages, three or four deep, and in a line as far as the eye could reach, for the present opposed an obstacle.

"If I could think of it," said Sparkle, "I'd give you the Ode on his Birth-day, which I once saw in MS.--it is the _jeu d'esprit_ of a very clever young Poet, and who perhaps one of these days may be better known; but poets, like anatomical subjects, are worth but little till dead."

"And for this reason, I suppose," says Tom, "their friends and patrons are anxious they should rather be starved than die a natural death."

"Oh! now I have it--let us remain in the Church-yard a few minutes, while the carriages pa.s.s, and you shall hear it."~274~~

"Ye hackney-coaches, and ye carts, That oft so well perform your parts For those who choose to ride, Now louder let your music grow-- Your heated axles fiery glow-- Whether you travel quick or slow- In Cheapside.

For know, "ye ragged rascals all,"

(As H----- would in his pulpit bawl With cheeks extended wide) Know, as you pa.s.s the crowded way, This is the happy natal day Of Him whose books demand your stay In Cheapside.

'Twas on the bright propitious morn When the facetious Tegcy was born, Of mirth and fun the pride, That Nature said "good Fortune follow, Bear him thro' life o'er hill and hollow, Give him the Temple of Apollo In Cheapside."

Then, O ye sons of Literature!

Shew your regard for Mother Nature, Nor let her be denied: Hail! hail the man whose happy birth May tell the world of mental worth; They'll find the best books on the earth In Cheapside.

"Good!" exclaimed Bob; "but we will now endeavour to make our way across, and take a peep at the subject of the Ode."

Finding the auction had not yet commenced, Sparkle proposed adjourning to the Burton Coffee House in the adjacent pa.s.sage, taking a nip of ale by way of refreshment and exhilaration, and returning in half an hour.