The Street Called Straight Part 14
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"Ah, but this is not business. It's charity."
"Did Mr. Guion tell you so?"
"He did. He told me all about it. My father has no secrets from me."
"Did he use the word--charity?"
"Almost. He said you offered him a loan, but that it really was a gift."
His first impulse was to repudiate this point of view, but a minute's reflection decided him in favor of plain speaking. "Well," he said, slowly, "suppose it _was_ a gift. Would there be any harm in it?"
"There wouldn't be any harm, perhaps; there would only be an--impossibility." She worked very busily, and spoke in a low voice, without looking up. "A gift implies two conditions--on the one side the right to offer, and on the other the freedom to take."
"But I should say that those conditions existed--between Mr. Guion and me."
"But not between you and me. Don't you see? That's the point. To any such transaction as this I have to be, in many ways, the most important party."
Again he was tempted to reject this interpretation; but, once more, on second thought, he allowed it to go uncontested. When he spoke it was to pa.s.s to another order of question.
"I wonder how much you know?"
"About my father's affairs? I know everything."
"Everything?"
"Yes; everything. He told me yesterday. I didn't expect him to come home last night at all; but he came--and told me what you had proposed."
"You understood, then," Davenant stammered, "that he might have to--to--go away?"
"Oh, perfectly."
"And aren't you very much appalled?"
The question was wrung from him by sheer astonishment. That she should sit calmly embroidering a sofa-cus.h.i.+on, with this knowledge in her heart, with this possibility hanging over her, seemed to him to pa.s.s the limits of the human. He knew there were heroic women; but he had not supposed that with all their heroism they carried themselves with such sang-froid. Before replying she took time to search in her work-basket for another skein of silk.
"Appalled is scarcely the word. Of course, it was a blow to me; but I hope I know how to take a blow without flinching."
"Oh, but one like this--"
"We're able to bear it. What makes you think we can't? If we didn't try, we should probably involve ourselves in worse."
"But how could there be worse?"
"That's what I don't know. You see, when my father told me of your kind offer, he didn't tell me what you wanted."
"Did he say I wanted anything?"
"He said you hadn't asked for anything. That's what leaves us so much in the dark."
"Isn't it conceivable--" he began, with a slightly puzzled air.
"Not that it matters," she interrupted, hurriedly. "Of course, if we had anything with which to compensate you--anything adequate, that is--I don't say that we shouldn't consider seriously the suggestion you were good enough to make. But we haven't. As I understand it, we haven't anything at all. That settles the question definitely. I hope you see."
"Isn't it conceivable," he persisted, "that a man might like to do a thing, once in a way, without--"
"Without asking for an equivalent in return? Possibly. But in this case it would only make it harder for me."
"How so?"
"By putting me under an overwhelming obligation to a total stranger--an obligation that I couldn't bear, while still less could I do away with it."
"I don't see," he reasoned, "that you'd be under a greater obligation to me in that case than you are to others already."
"At present," she corrected, "we're not under an obligation to any one.
My father and I are contending with circ.u.mstances; we're not asking favors of individuals. I know we owe money--a great deal of money--to a good many people--"
"Who are total strangers, just like me."
"Not total strangers just like you--but total strangers whom I don't know, and don't know anything about, and who become impersonal from their very numbers."
"But you know Mrs. Rodman and Mrs. Clay. They're not impersonal."
All he saw for the instant was that she arrested her needle half-way through the st.i.tch. She sat perfectly still, her head bent, her fingers rigid, as she might have sat in trying to catch some sudden, distant sound. It was only in thinking it over afterward that he realized what she must have lived through in the seconds before she spoke.
"Does my father owe money to _them_?"
The hint of dismay was so faint that it might have eluded any ear but one rendered sharp by suspicion. Davenant felt the blood rus.h.i.+ng to his temples and a singing in his head. "My G.o.d, she didn't know!" he cried, inwardly. The urgency of retrieving his mistake kept him calm and cool, prompting him to reply with a.s.sumed indifference.
"I really can't say anything about it. I suppose they would be among the creditors--as a matter of course."
For the first time she let her clear, grave eyes rest fully on him. They were quiet eyes, with exquisitely finished lids and lashes. In his imagination their depth of what seemed like devotional reverie contributed more than anything else to her air of separation and remoteness.
"Isn't it very serious--when there's anything wrong with estates?"
He answered readily, still forcing a tone of careless matter-of-fact.
"Of course it's serious. Everything is serious in business. Your father's affairs are just where they can be settled--now. But if we put it off any longer it might not be so easy. Men often have to take charge of one another's affairs--and straighten them out--and advance one another money--and all that--in business."
She looked away from him again, absently. She appeared not to be listening. There was something in her manner that advised him of the uselessness of saying anything more in that vein. After a while she folded her work, smoothing it carefully across her knee. The only sign she gave of being unusually moved was in rising from her chair and going to the open window, where she stood with her back to him, apparently watching the dartings from point to point of a sharp-eyed gray squirrel.
Rising as she did, he stood waiting for her to turn and say something else. Now that the truth was dawning on her, it seemed to him as well to allow it to grow clear. It would show her the futility of further opposition. He would have been glad to keep her ignorant; he regretted the error into which she herself unwittingly had led him; but, since it had been committed, it would not be wholly a disaster if it summoned her to yield.
Having come to this conclusion, he had time to make another observation while she still stood with her back to him. It was to consider himself fortunate in having ceased to be in love with her. In view of all the circ.u.mstances, it was a great thing to have pa.s.sed through that phase and come out of it. He had read somewhere that a man is never twice in love with the same person. If that were so, he could fairly believe himself immune, as after a certain kind of malady. If it were not for this he would have found in her hostility to his efforts and her repugnance to his person a temptation--a temptation to which he was specially liable in regard to living things--to feel that it was his right to curb the spirit and tame the rebellion of whatever was restive to his control. There was something in this haughty, high-strung creature, poising herself in silence to stand upright in the face of fate, that would have called forth his impulse to dominate her will, to subdue her lips to his own, if he had really cared. Fortunately, he didn't care, and so could seek her welfare with detachment.
Turning slowly, she stood grasping the back of the chair from which she had risen. He always remembered afterward that it was a chair of which the flowing curves and rich interlacings of design contrasted with her subtly emphasized simplicity. He had once had the morbid curiosity to watch, in an English law-court, the face and att.i.tude of a woman--a surgeon's wife--standing in the dock to be sentenced to death. It seemed to him now that Olivia Guion stood like her--with the same resoluteness, not so much desperate as slightly dazed.
"Wasn't it for something of that kind--something wrong with estates--that Jack Berrington was sent to prison?"
The Street Called Straight Part 14
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The Street Called Straight Part 14 summary
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