The Big Drum Part 46

BERTRAM.

I tried to get on to my father from Dunning's--to ask his advice, I mean t'say--but he'd dressed early and gone to one of his clubs, and they couldn't tell me which one. [_Halting and looking at his watch._]

_My_ suggestion is that you and I should struggle through this farce of a dinner as best we can--as if nothing had happened. I mean t'say--and that I should reserve the disclosure of your caddish conduct till to-morrow. You a.s.sent to that course, Mackworth? [_Dabbing his forehead with his handkerchief._] Thank heaven, the announcement of the engagement hasn't appeared!

PHILIP.

[_In a calm voice._] Bertram--[_pointing to the chair on the left of the smoking-table_] Bertie, old man--[_seating himself easily upon the settee on the right_] you're your sister's brother and I'm not going to lose my temper----

BERTRAM.

[_Sneeringly._] My dear sir----

PHILIP.

[_Leaning back and crossing his legs._] One thing I seem to grasp clearly; and that is that, while I've been endeavouring to conciliate you, and make a pal of you, you've been leaguing yourself with a tame detective with the idea of injuring me in some way with Ottoline and your father and mother. [_Folding his arms._] That's correct, isn't it?

BERTRAM.

[_With a disdainful shrug._] If you think it will benefit you to distort my motives, Mackworth, pray do so. [_Returning to the middle of the room._] What I've done, I've done, as I've already stated, from a sheer sense of duty----

PHILIP.

[_Again pointing to the chair._] Please! You'll look less formidable, old man----

BERTRAM.

[_Sitting, haughtily._] Knowing what depended on the fate of your book, I felt from the first that you might be unscrupulous enough to induce your publisher to represent it as being a popular success--in order to impose on us, I mean t'say--though actually it was another of your failures to hit the mark; and when t.i.tterton started blowing the trumpet so loudly, my suspicions increased. [PHILIP _slowly unfolds his arms._] As for desiring to injure you with my family at any price, I scorn the charge. I've had the delicacy to refrain from even mentioning my suspicions to my father and mother, let alone Ottoline. [_Putting his necktie straight and smoothing his hair and his slightly crumpled s.h.i.+rt-front._] Deeply as I regret your connection with my sister, I should have been only too happy, I mean t'say, if my poor opinion of you had been falsified.

PHILIP.

[_His hands clenched, but preserving his suavity._] Extremely grateful to you, Bertie. I see! And so, burdened by these suspicions, you carried them to Mr.--Mr. Gunning?

BERTRAM.

Dunning. I didn't regard it as a job for a respectable solicitor----

PHILIP.

[_Politely._] _Didn't_ you!

BERTRAM.

Not that there's anything against Dunning----

PHILIP.

[_Uncrossing his legs and sitting upright._] Well, that brings us to the point, doesn't it?

BERTRAM.

The point?

PHILIP.

The precise, and illuminating, details of the fable your friend at the bottom of Chancery Lane is fooling you with.

BERTRAM.

[_In a pitying tone._] Oh, my dear Mackworth! I repeat, it's no _use_ your adopting this att.i.tude. You don't realize how completely you're bowled over, I mean t'say. Dunning's got incontestable proofs----

PHILIP.

[_Jumping up, unable to repress himself any longer._] d.a.m.n the impudent scoundrel----!

[_The bell rings._

BERTRAM.

[_Listening._] Your bell!

PHILIP.

[_Striding to the left and then to the fireplace._] You said he's still at his office, didn't you?

BERTRAM.

[_Rising._] Yes.

PHILIP.

[_Pointing to the telephone, imperatively._] Get him here at once.

BERTRAM.

[_Rather taken aback._] At once?

PHILIP.

I'll deal with this gentleman promptly.

BERTRAM.

[_Icily._] Not before Ottoline and my parents, I hope?

PHILIP.

[_Seizing the poker and attacking the fire furiously._] Before Ottoline and your parents.