Her Restless Heart Part 34

Mary Katherine bit back a smile as she shook her head and rolled her eyes. She picked up her tea and drank it. "Soon."

Funny thing, Mary Katherine thought. She'd been sitting in church every other Sunday for more than a year now- well, not in a church building but in different homes that held church services-and she'd never really heard G.o.d speaking to her until she and Jenny had talked that one recent Sunday.

And today.

Well, it wasn't G.o.d, exactly. It was Ike, one of the lay ministers, a bookish young man who worked in an RV a.s.sembly plant during the day and helped on his family's farm on the weekends.

Looking over the wire-rimmed gla.s.ses he wore, he stroked his beard and talked about a pa.s.sage in Exodus about honoring parents.

Mary Katherine felt some resistance for just a moment, remembering how she and her father had fought that day when he talked of the same thing. Ike spoke of G.o.d's love for His children-and His children's love for their children. Generations of love, he said, but sometimes the generations didn't get along because they didn't speak the same language. Their words and their actions weren't what the other used or expected, and so there was distance and misunderstanding. Even anger.

But when we looked beyond these differences in words and actions, he said, used empathy and understanding and forgiveness, we could know a greater love: G.o.d's visible love in all areas of our lives.

Mary Katherine found herself thinking about Ike's words long after he had finished. When she realized people were milling around, getting ready to leave, she looked for her grandmother.

"Have you seen Mamm and Dat?" Mary Katherine asked her when she found her in the kitchen.

"I spoke with your mother yesterday, and she said your dat had wrenched his knee planting. She wasn't sure they'd be here today."

"Oh." She looked around.

"I believe Jacob just walked outside."

"I don't want to-"

"Remember how Jacob was worried Daniel might steal you away?"

"Well, I don't think those were his exact words but-"

"I saw Becky Raber follow him outside."

With a swish of skirts, Leah turned and headed toward the kitchen door.

Mary Katherine considered that for a moment. Becky was a sweet girl but a big flirt. Mary Katherine might think she had time to talk to Jacob, but Becky moved fast . . .

Jacob exchanged a greeting with Matthew Bontrager and Chris Matlock as he went to get his buggy.

"How's planting going?" Matthew asked.

"Gut. Yours?"

"Gut. G.o.d had a wonderful plan when he put a brother-in-law on the farm next to me. Chris has been helping me."

"And Matthew's been helping me," Chris responded.

Jacob had known Matthew all his life since they had grown up here together. But Chris had been Englisch, like Matthew's wife, Jenny, and studied to join the Amish church when he married Matthew's sister, Hannah.

Amish life was so different from what the Englisch thought that Jacob knew some were surprised at how well Jenny and then Chris had acclimated.

"Can I hitch up your buggy for you, Jacob?"

He smiled at Joshua, Matthew's son and Jenny's stepson who'd grown up to be a horse-loving preteen who'd live in a barn if he could.

"Schur," he said. "Danki."

Jacob chatted about the weather-a favorite topic of farmers-until Joshua led his horse and buggy to him.

"Are you going for a picnic, Jacob?" Joshua jerked his head at the picnic basket in the back of the buggy.

Surprised, Jacob stepped forward to look. He'd never seen it before.

"Jacob!"

He spun around. "Mary Katherine! Guder mariye."

The others faded away as he stepped toward her. "It's so gut to see you."

"You, too." She stood there, watching him with her hands clasped in front of her.

If he didn't know her so well, he wouldn't have seen how she did that with her hands to still their nervous movements. She was nervous. Not angry. Maybe he had a chance . . .

She looked past him and her eyebrows went up in surprise. "What's my grandmother's picnic basket doing in your buggy?"

"I don't know, Little Red Riding Hood. Did you put it there?"

Laughing, she shook her head. "Nee."

"Well, I think we should put it to good use, don't you?"

Glancing back, she saw her grandmother, Anna, and Naomi standing on the porch, looking expectantly toward them.

"Ya, we shouldn't disappoint them."

They hadn't gone a block when Mary Katherine shook her head and waved her hands. "Stop! Stop!"

Jacob pulled over, off the road. "What's the matter? Are you feeling sick?"

She stared out her window. "I'm sorry. I can't do this."

"Do-what?"

"I can't go on some picnic with you and have you say 'I'm sorry' and everything's okay!"

He blinked. "Wow."

"Yeah, wow," she muttered.

She jerked back when he took her hands, and tried to pull them away. But he wouldn't let her.

"I tried to apologize-"

"I trusted you to not hurt me!" She looked down at their joined hands and felt him jerk when a tear dripped down her cheek and plopped on them.

"I was so caught up in my own pain I didn't think what it would do to you," he admitted, rubbing the fragile, sensitive skin on her wrists. "I thought I'd lost you to Daniel."

"I've had enough years of living with a man who never thought of my feelings. I can't do that again. I won't do that again. It's not good for either of us."

"I know. I know." He leaned his forehead against hers. "I'm sorry. I can't explain about jealousy."

"It's misplaced. I've never given you reason to think he meant anything to me."

"Jealousy isn't reasonable. Or logical."

"I know." She laughed self-deprecatingly. "Well, I didn't before today. Then my grandmother pointed out to me that she'd seen you go outside and Becky Raber follow you."

He stared at her with dawning understanding. "You were jealous?"

"Cautious," she said, lifting her chin. "Not willing to let someone else move in-"

"Jealous!" he accused, grinning.

She hesitated, and then she nodded, smiling reluctantly.

His laugh was delighted. "So you can understand about jealousy?"

"Don't you dare try to make this the same as what you did!"

His grin faded. "No, you're right. I'm sorry. I'm sorry," he said again. "I'll say it again and again until you believe me. Until it's enough."

"You've said it enough for this time. But what about next time?"

"Next time? There's not going to be a next time."

"You can't promise you won't hurt me again."

A car horn honked, startling Jacob's horse. He spent the next few moments getting him under control.

He turned to her. "Let's go to that little park down the road."

She nodded.

He took them to a small park that bordered a pond. After a long, cold winter, it was a pleasure to spread out a quilt and sit on it. The sun felt warm on her face. Daffodils danced as a gentle breeze drifted through them.

Mary Katherine smiled as she watched a mother duck lead her little ducklings to the water.

Jacob reached over and ran a fingertip across her lips, his eyes dark with desire. "I've missed that smile. I've missed you."

"Me, too." His touch was sending s.h.i.+vers through her. Her cheeks heated, and she found her breath started coming faster.

His hand moved to cup her cheek and he moved closer, bending to kiss her.

An Englisch couple walked past and looked at them curiously.

"We could go someplace where we can be more private."

"Is that a good idea?" she asked, licking her suddenly dry lips.

"No. You're right."

"I don't want to be right." Disappointed, she opened the top lid of the picnic basket, then shut it again.

He sighed heavily. "I just planted my fields."

She crossed her arms over her chest. "Well, I'm sorry, but I don't really care about that right now." She could hear the slight note of petulance in her voice, but she didn't care.

"You hate farming that much?"

"No," she said at last. "I'll love it because I love you." She blushed when she realized what she'd blurted out.

"Danki. For saying it first. I didn't think I'd hear those words." He took a deep breath. "I didn't think I deserved them."

Turning back, she studied him. "Why wouldn't you deserve them?"

"I'm not smooth talking like Daniel. Or as wealthy."

"Oh, so now I'm shallow and acquisitive." She glared at him.

"No. According to my sister, Rebecca, I didn't think I had anything to offer you."

"You have yourself, Jacob Miller. What more would I want?"

"And we just planted," he said again, his voice heavy with regret.

"There are those fields again. You're obsessed-"

He leaned forward and kissed her, hard. "There's something you're forgetting."

She touched her fingers to her tingling lips. "I'll never forget that."

"We can't get married until the fall harvest."

"Oh," she said.

He laughed. "Yeah. Oh."

His humor faded. He took her hand, and his clasp was so warm, so rea.s.suring. "I'm sorry I let my feelings about hearing you'd been with Daniel ruin your news about joining the church that day."

"It's okay."