Her Restless Heart Part 35

"It's not okay."

"No," she said. "But as long as it doesn't happen again." She looked him in the eye. "I won't be my mother. I won't become a quiet little mouse about things."

"From what I saw today, I don't think that'll happen."

"And I won't let you be like my father."

"That's never going to happen," he said firmly.

She took a deep breath. "I'm scared."

"Scared? Of what?"

"You," she said, and watched the expression of shock spread across his handsome face.

She was afraid of him?

Jacob felt numb. He loved her. How could she think he'd hurt her? He'd never do that.

Then a horrible thought struck him.

"Mary Katherine, did your father hurt you?"

"Oh, my, not the way you're thinking!" she cried. "You can't think that of him!"

"He never beat you?"

She shook her head violently.

"Or . . . touched you?"

Her face turned white. "No!"

"Then tell me," he said. "Help me understand."

"You don't have to do the things you mentioned to hurt someone," she said slowly. "Sometimes words are enough."

He let out the breath he didn't realize he'd been holding. "I know." He sighed. "I can't promise never to hurt you with words-"

"I know-"

"Let me finish." He took her hands in his and was relieved when she let him touch her. "I'm a man who sometimes opens his mouth without thinking. My sisters and Mamm will tell you that. I've been working on that. But I promise that I'll work even harder to think before I talk, and I promise that there'll be so many more words of love that you'll hear."

"Words of love?"

"Ya." He saw he had her attention. "Like, 'I love you,' " he said, moving closer again. "Like, 'Be my beloved fraa.' " He bent his head until their lips were a breath apart. "Like, 'I hope we have many kinner and live to dangle many grandchildren on our knees.' And like, 'A hundred years with you won't be enough.' " Tears welled up in her eyes and ran down her cheeks. He pulled a snowy handkerchief from his pocket and wiped them away.

"And you thought some other man could speak better words than you?" she whispered. "Be my love, Jacob. Be my mann, and I won't fear any words from you."

She leaned forward to kiss him, and he met her lips with pa.s.sion. Her head spun with dreams of this with him for years to come.

And then a thought intruded, and laughter bubbled up inside her, like a fountain of joy.

"What's so funny?" he demanded as she drew back from him.

She pressed her fingers against her mouth and her eyes danced. "I've watched too many movies with Jamie. I was thinking that you'll only hurt me if I ask you to make love to me one night and you say, 'Not tonight, dear.' "

Laughing, he shook his head and gathered her closer. "I promise you, those words are never going to leave my lips."

Jacob's Macaroni and Cheese Preheat oven to 350 degrees cup b.u.t.ter or margarine (reserve 1 tablespoon) cup flour 1 cup milk 8 ounces ( pound) Velveeta cut in small cubes 2 cups cooked elbow macaroni (or any shape macaroni) cup shredded cheddar cheese (any kind-sharp, mild, etc.) Optional: 6 b.u.t.tery crackers (Ritz), crushed Melt 3 tablespoons b.u.t.ter in a pan on low heat, add flour, stir, cook for about two minutes. Add milk, stir, bring to a boil without burning. Gradually add the Velveeta, stir until melted. Add macaroni. Pour into baking dish that has been sprayed with cooking spray or greased with some b.u.t.ter or margarine. Sprinkle with the cheddar. Mix remaining tablespoon b.u.t.ter or margarine with crumbled crackers, then sprinkle over the ca.s.serole.

Set timer for 20 minutes (this is very important). Bake ca.s.serole until heated through and top cracker crust is browned.

Amish Coffee Cake Preheat oven to 400 degrees pound b.u.t.ter, softened 1 cup sugar 2 large eggs 2 cups flour teaspoon salt 1 teaspoon baking powder 1 teaspoon baking soda 1 cup sour cream 1 teaspoon vanilla or almond extract Topping cup light brown sugar 1 teaspoon cinnamon Cream b.u.t.ter, sugar, and eggs. Add salt, baking powder, and soda together, then add sour cream and vanilla. Pour into baking pan. Mix topping ingredients, and sprinkle over the batter. Bake for 30 minutes or until done.

Amish Zucchini Bread Preheat oven to 350 degrees 3 cups flour 1 cup sugar 4 teaspoons baking powder 1 teaspoon salt 4 ounces chopped nuts (walnuts or pecans) 4 ounces raisins 3 eggs 2/3 cup oil 2 cups shredded zucchini Mix ingredients (don't over-mix) and pour into 2 loaf pans. Bake for 1 hour or until done. Cool for at least 15 minutes before taking out of pans, and then cool completely on wire racks.

Glossary ab im koff-crazy ach-Oh aenti-aunt allrecht-all right boppli-baby bruder-brother daed-dad Danki-thank you dat-father dawdi haus-grandparent apartment at back of home Der Hochmut k.u.mmt vor dem Fall.-Pride goeth before the fall.

Dumbkoff-dummy, stupid person Englischer-what the Amish call us fraa-wife grossmudder-grandmother Guder mariye-Good morning gut-good Gut-n-owed-Good evening haus-house hochmut-pride kaffe-coffee kapp-prayer covering or cap worn by girls and women kich-kitchen kind, kinner-child, children k.u.mm-come liebschen-dearest or dear one maedel-young woman mamm-mother mann-husband nee-no onkel-uncle Ordnung-The rules of the Amish, both written and unwritten. Certain behavior has been expected within the Amish community for many, many years. These rules vary from community to community, but the most common are to not have electricity in the home, to not own or drive an automobile, and to dress a certain way.

Pennsylvania Deitsch-Pennsylvania German rotrieb-red beet rumschpringe-time period when teenagers are allowed to experience the Englisch world while deciding if they should join the church. The time period ranges in different communities but usually starts around sixteen and ends in the mid-twenties.

schul-school schur-sure schweschder-sister scholars-students sohn-son verdraue-trust Wie geht's-How goes it? How is it going?

Wilk.u.mm-welcome wunderbaar-wonderful ya-yes Discussion Questions Please don't read before completing the book, as the questions contain spoilers!

Mary Katherine is restless. Have you ever had a time when you were restless? Were you aware of the reason for your restlessness, or did you only find out later why you felt that way?

Jacob seems the opposite of Mary Katherine. But there's something missing in his life. What is it?

The Amish believe in traditional roles for men and women. Is that true for your family?

Do you craft or have a hobby? What is it? Why were you drawn to it? What do you get from it emotionally? What craft would you most like to learn to do?

Mary Katherine is an only child, but her cousins are like sisters to her. Do you have siblings? Is there anyone in your extended family you're closer to than a sibling?

Have you ever worked with family as Mary Katherine does? What was the experience like?

Mary Katherine thinks her restlessness means she might be happier in the Englisch world. Did you ever have a time when you thought "the gra.s.s is greener on the other side"?

What part of Amish life appeals to you most? Could you bring that to your everyday life?

Jacob has a challenging time learning to cook. What was the biggest challenge you had learning to cook?

Mary Katherine's decision to join the church feels long and arduous to her. Who do you think influences her the most and why?

Do you think G.o.d listens to you? When did you feel He didn't? What did you do?

Have you committed to a particular religion or church? Why or why not?

St.i.tches in Time is a very special shop run by three cousins and their grandmother. Each young woman is devoted to her Amish faith and lifestyle, each talented in a traditional Amish craft and in new ways of doing business-and yet each is unsure of her path in life and love. It will take a loving, insightful grandmother to gently guide them to see that they can weave together their traditions and their desire to create, and forge loving marriages and families of their own.

And now for a sneak peek into the first chapter of Journey of the Heart, Book 2 of St.i.tches in Time, Naomi's story.

1.

She should be the happiest young woman in Paradise.

But Naomi dreaded being asked about her upcoming wedding. She feared she'd scream if one more person asked her about it.

Marriage in her Amish community was more traditional than an Englisch marriage, to be sure. But she'd never thought she'd have to change so much to please the man she was to marry soon.

Sighing, she set her quilting aside, got up, and walked over to look out the front window. Business had been brisk that morning at St.i.tches in Time, the shop she worked at with her grandmother and two cousins.

St.i.tches in time . . . and place: she and her two cousins were working together as they had played and studied together all their lives. Their wise grandmother, Leah, had bought this place and they'd all fixed it up and now they created items for sale. Mary Katherine was a master weaver, Anna knitted, Naomi quilted, and their grandmother created little Amish dolls and other crafts. They were two generations of Amish women who were bound by strong threads to each other as well as to their creativity and their community.

Here in this shop crowded with colorful quilts and hand-knitted items, with fabrics galore and every single thing you could ever need to quilt or knit or sew . . . well, she should feel she was in heaven working on a quilt and helping customers of this very successful shop with family members who loved her.

Instead, she felt more and more false, covering up how she felt, wearing a mask each day.

"Looking for someone?" her grandmother asked, smiling as she looked up from tallying the day's receipts. "Is John coming to pick you up after work?"

Everyone thought it was a sign of his attachment, his devotion to her, that he came for her nearly every day after work. In fact, it was a way of keeping track of her, of making certain that she didn't make other plans.

She'd become so cynical. It was enough to make her sigh, but she noticed her grandmother was still watching her.

"Ya," she said, pasting a smile on her face.

She walked back to sit and begin st.i.tching on her quilt. Its bright, cheerful pattern should have propped up her sagging mood with its pattern of watermelon slices and little black ants marching across it. Anna had already asked to use it when it was finished for the summer window display, along with some props to make it look like it would be perfect for a picnic.

Off she'd gone to plan what she'd knit for the display, then she badgered Mary Katherine and her grandmother for what they'd make.

Naomi glanced over at Mary Katherine when she heard quiet humming. "What are you making?"

"Some fabric for big floor pillows," she said, looking up. "You don't think this looks too . . . rough or nubby, do you?"

"I think it looks really st.u.r.dy for a kid's room. The pillows'll fly out of the shop."

Nodding, Mary Katherine went back to weaving and humming, weaving and humming.

That was what a woman who was happily married and soon to celebrate her first anniversary looked like, Naomi thought. Happy, content. Dreamy. She and Jacob were a good match. They'd been friends since they were scholars in the same school, and when he'd thought he'd lose her to Daniel, a charming Amish Mennonite man from exotic-sounding Florida, well, Jacob had woken up and shown her he was the mann for her.

And soon, Naomi would be marrying John. Two cousins married in two years.

Anna was still looking for the right man and enjoying flirting with several young men. The three of them-Naomi, Mary Katherine, and Anna-were cousins who looked much alike with their oval faces and brown hair. Well, Mary Katherine was taller and her hair was more auburn, but they looked more like sisters than cousins.

But their personalities were so different, Naomi mused. She'd often wished she were as outgoing and a.s.sertive as Anna or as creative as Mary Katherine, who'd even been invited to speak about her skill of weaving at the local college of arts and design.

A shadow fell over her as her grandmother carried some bolts of fabric to the storage room. She heard her talking with Anna, and then her cousin emerged, following Leah as she walked back to the cash register. Leah handed her a slip of paper and then opened the cash register and withdrew some money. Anna slipped out the shop door.

Then Leah went to stand at the shop window, and she stood there for so long, staring out with an unreadable expression, that Naomi got up and walked over to her.

"Is anything wrong?"

"No, I just sent Anna to get pizza for lunch. My treat."

"And you're watching to make sure she gets there?" Naomi asked, smiling indulgently.

"No," Leah said, shaking her head and laughing. "Although Anna has been known to dilly-dally."

Turning, Leah sighed. "I'm just feeling a little restless, maybe a little moody, that's all. I have to confess, I'm not usually pessimistic, but I'm not looking forward to another winter here in Lancaster."

"That's a ways off, Grossmudder."

"I know. Just ignore me. Like I said, I'm a little restless and moody. This probably started it." She held up a postcard of a scene in Florida. "Daniel's mother's trying to get me to come down there to Pinecraft for a visit."

"Well, maybe you should this time. It'd do you some good. All you do is work here and at home."

For the first time she noticed that her grandmother-just in her late fifties-looked tired. Older.

Anna bustled in, carrying a pizza box that smelled of pepperoni. "Come on, everybody, let's eat it before it gets cold."

"Or before you eat it all," Mary Katherine teased as she got up from her loom. "I'm starved. I'm so hungry all the time lately." She stopped as she realized the three women were staring at her. "What?"

"All the time?" Leah asked, a hopeful note in her voice.

"I've been working a lot lately. It's not easy juggling a job here and being a farm wife, you know. Sometimes I forget to eat."

Anna shoved the pizza box at Naomi, who fumbled to catch it and winced as one of her wrists complained.

Walking over to Mary Katherine, Anna counted on the fingers of one hand. "You could be . . ." she trailed off meaningfully.

"Could be what?"

Anna patted her cheek. "Think about it," she said. "You're a bright girl."

Mary Katherine followed her into the back room. "Oh, honestly, you all want me to have a boppli so badly that you started making comments a month after I was married."

"It can happen that fast," Naomi told her.

"Yes, and we know it can happen even before marriage, no matter what community people live in."