He Who Gets Slapped Part 14

HE

You're blue, Mancini. [_Stretches._] Well, at my age, a hundred slaps--it seems pretty hard. So you're blue. How are things getting on with your girl?

MANCINI

Tss! Bad! Complications--parents--[_shudders_] Agh--

HE

Prison!

MANCINI

[_Laughing_]: Prison! Mustn't I uphold the glory of my name now, eh? HE, I'm joking--but there is h.e.l.l in my heart. You're the only one who understands me. But tell me how to explain this pa.s.sion? It will turn my hair grey, it'll bring me to prison, to the grave. I am a tragic man.

HE--[_Wipes his eyes with a dirty handkerchief._] Why don't I like things which are not forbidden? Why, at all moments, even at the very moment of ecstasy, must I be reminded of some law--it is stupid. HE, I am becoming an anarchist. Good G.o.d!--Count Mancini, an anarchist. That's the only thing I've missed.

HE

Isn't there a way of settling it somehow?

MANCINI

Is there a way of getting money, somehow?

HE

And the Baron?

MANCINI

Oh, yes! He's just waiting for it, the bloodsucker! He'll get what he's after. Some day, you'll see me give him Consuelo for ten thousand francs, perhaps for five!

HE

Cheap.

MANCINI

Did I say it was anything else? Do I want to do it? But these bourgeois are strangling me, they've got me by the throat. HE, one can easily see that you're a gentleman, and of good society, you understand me--I showed you the jewels which I sent back to him--d.a.m.n honesty--I didn't even dare change the stones, put false ones--

HE

Why?

MANCINI

It would have queered the game. Do you think he didn't weigh the diamonds when he got them back?

HE

He will not marry her.

MANCINI

Yes he will. You don't understand. [_Laughs._] The first half of his life, this man had only appet.i.tes--now love's got him. If he does not get Consuelo, he is lost, he is--like a withered narcissus. Plague take him with his automobiles. Did you see his car?

HE

I did.... Give Consuelo to the Jockey--

MANCINI

To Bezano? [_Laughs._] What nonsense you do talk! Oh, I know. It's your joke about Adam and Eve. But please stop it. It's clever, but it compromises the child. She told me about it.

HE

Or give her to me.

MANCINI

Have you a billion? [_Laughs._] Ah, HE, I'm not in the proper mood to listen to your clownish jokes--They say there are terrible jails in this country, and no discriminations are being made between people of my kind, and plain scoundrels. Why do you look at me like that? You're making fun of me?

HE

No.

MANCINI

I'll never get accustomed to those faces. You're so disgustingly made up.

HE

He will not marry her. You can be as proud as you please, Mancini, but he'll not marry her. What _is_ Consuelo? She is not educated. When she is off her horse, any good housemaid from a decent house has nicer manners, and speaks better. [_Nonchalantly_] Don't _you_ think she's stupid?

MANCINI

No, she's not stupid. And you, HE, are a fool. What need has a woman of intelligence? Why, HE, you astonish me. Consuelo is an unpolished jewel, and only a real donkey does not notice her sparkle. Do you know what happened? I tried to begin to polish her--

HE

Yes, you took a teacher. And what happened?

MANCINI

[_Nodding his head_]: I was frightened--it went too fast--I had to dismiss him. Another month or two, and _she_ would have kicked _me_ out.

[_Laughs._] The clever old diamond merchants of Amsterdam keep their precious stones unpolished, and fool the thieves. My father taught me that.

HE