He Who Gets Slapped Part 15

The sleep of a diamond. It is only sleeping, then. You are wise, Mancini.

MANCINI

Do you know what blood flows in the veins of an Italian woman? The blood of Hannibal and Corsini--of a Borgia--and of a dirty Lombardi peasant--and of a Moor. Oh! an Italian woman is not of a lower race, with only peasants and gypsies behind her. All possibilities, all forms are included in her, as in our marvelous sculpture. Do you understand that, you fool? Strike here--out springs a washerwoman, or a cheap street girl whom you want to throw out, because she is sloppy and has a screechy voice. Strike there--but carefully and gently, for there stands a queen, a G.o.ddess, the Venus of the Capitol, who sings like a Stradivarius and makes you cry, idiot! An Italian woman--

HE

You're quite a poet, Mancini! But what will the Baron make of her?

MANCINI

What? What? Make of _her_? A baroness, you fool! What are you laughing at? I don't get you? But I am happy that this lovesick beast is neither a duke nor a prince--or she would be a princess and I--what would become of me? A year after the wedding they would not let me even into the kitchen [_laughing_] not even into the kitchen! I, Count Mancini, and she a--a simple--

HE

[_Jumping up_]: What did you say? You are not her father, Mancini?

MANCINI

Tss--the devil--I am so nervous to-day! Heavens, who do you think I am?

"Her father?" Of course [_tries to laugh_] how silly you are--haven't you noticed the family resemblance? Just look, the nose, the eyes--[_Suddenly sighs deeply._] Ah, HE! How unhappy I am! Think of it.

Here I am, a gentleman, nearly beaten in my struggle to keep up the honour of my name, of an old house, while there in the parquet--there sits that beast, an elephant with the eyes of a spider ... and he looks at Consuelo ... and....

HE

Yes, yes, he has the motionless stare of a spider--you're right!

MANCINI

Just what I say--a spider! But I must, I shall compel him to marry her.

You'll see--[_Walking excitedly up and down, playing with his cane._]

You'll see! All my life I've been getting ready for this battle. [_He continues to walk up and down. Silence. Outside, great stillness._]

HE

[_Listening_]: Why is it so quiet out there? What a strange silence.

MANCINI

[_Disgusted_]: I don't know. Out there it is quiet--but here [_touching his forehead with his cane_] here is storm, whirlwind. [_Bends over the clown._] HE, shall I tell you a strange thing--an unusual trick of nature? [_Laughs, and looks very important._] For three centuries the Counts Mancini have had no children! [_Laughs._]

HE

Then how were you born?

MANCINI

s.h.!.+ Silence! That is the secret of our sainted mothers! Ha-ha! We are too ancient a stock--too exquisitely refined to trouble ourselves with such things--matters in which a peasant is more competent than ourselves. [_Enter an usher._] What do you want? The manager is on the stage.

THE USHER

Yes, sir. Baron Regnard wished me to give you this letter.

MANCINI

The Baron? Is he there?

THE USHER

Baron Regnard has left. There is no answer.

MANCINI

[_Opening the envelope, his hand shaking_]: The devil--the devil! [_The usher is going._]

HE

Just a minute. Why is there no music? This silence....

THE USHER

It is the act with Madame Zinida and her lions. [_He goes._ MANCINI _is reading the_ BARON'S _note for the second time._]

HE

What's the matter, Mancini? You s.h.i.+ne like Jackson's sun.

MANCINI

What's the matter, did you ask? What's the matter? What's the matter?

[_Balancing his cane, he takes steps like a ballet-dancer._]

HE

Mancini! [MANCINI _rolls his eyes, makes faces, dances_.] Speak, you beast!

MANCINI

[_Holds out his hand_]: Give me ten francs! Quick--ten francs--here, come on. [_Puts it automatically into his vest pocket._] Listen, HE! If in a month I don't have a car of my own, you may give me one of your slaps!

HE

What! He's going to marry? He's decided?

MANCINI

What do you mean by "decided?" [_Laughs._] When a man has the rope about his neck, you don't ask him about his health! Baron--[_Stops suddenly, startled._ BRIQUET _is staggering in like a drunken man, his hand over his eyes_.]