He Who Gets Slapped Part 2

Artful!

BRIQUET

What are you teaching her?

MANCINI

Everything. A student had been giving her lessons, but I threw him out yesterday. He had the nerve to fall in love with Consuelo and stood there miaowing at the door like a cat. Everything, Briquet, that you don't know--literature, mythology, orthography----

[_Two young actresses appear, with small fur coats thrown over their light dresses. They are tired and sit down in the corner._]

MANCINI

I do not wish my daughter----

ZINIDA

Artful!

BRIQUET

You are stupid, Mancini. What do you do it for? [_In a didactic tone_]

You are fearfully stupid, Mancini. Why does she need to learn? Since she is here she need never know anything about that life. Don't you understand? What is geography? If I were the government I would forbid artists to read books. Let them read the posters, that's enough.

[_During_ BRIQUET'S _speech, the two clowns and another actor enter. They sit down wearily._]

BRIQUET

Right now, your Consuelo is an excellent artist, but just as soon as you teach her mythology, and she begins to read, she'll become a nuisance, she'll be corrupted, and then she'll go and poison herself. I know those books, I've read 'em myself. All they teach is corruption, and how to kill oneself.

FIRST ACTRESS

I love the novels that come out in the newspaper.

BRIQUET

That shows what a foolish girl you are. You'll be done for in no time.

Believe me, my friends, we must forget entirely what is happening out there. How can we understand all that goes on there?

MANCINI

You are an enemy of enlightenment, you are an obscurantist, Briquet.

BRIQUET

And you are stupid. You are from out there. What has it taught you?

[_The actors laugh._] If you'd been born in a circus as I was, you'd know something. Enlightenment is plain nonsense--nothing else. Ask Zinida. She knows everything they teach out there--geography, mythology---- Does it make her any happier? You tell them, dear.

ZINIDA

Leave me alone, Louis.

MANCINI

[_Angrily_]: Oh! Go to the devil! When I listen to your asinine philosophy, I'd like to skin you for more than a paltry hundred francs--for two hundred--for a thousand. Great G.o.d! What an a.s.s of a manager! Yes, right before every one of them I want to say that you are a stingy old skinflint--that you pay starvation wages. I'll make you give Consuelo a raise of a hundred francs. Listen, all you honest vagabonds, tell me--who is it draws the crowd that fills the circus every night? You? a couple of musical donkeys? Tigers, lions? n.o.body cares for those hungry cats!

ZINIDA

Leave the tigers alone.

MANCINI

Beg your pardon, Zinida. I did not mean to hurt your feelings--honestly.

I really marvel at your furious audacity--at your grace--you are a heroine--I kiss your tiny hands. But what do they understand about heroism? [_An orchestra softly plays the Tango in the circus. He continues with enthusiasm._] Hear! hear! Now tell me, honest vagabonds, who but Consuelo and Bezano draws the crowds! That Tango on horseback--it is--it is---- Oh, the devil! Even his fatuousness the Pope could not withstand its lure.

POLLY

True! It's a great trick--wasn't the idea Bezano's?

MANCINI

Idea! Idea! The lad's in love, like a cat--that's the idea. What's the good of an idea without a woman! You wouldn't dance very far with your idea alone, eh, Papa Briquet?

BRIQUET

We have a contract.

MANCINI

Such base formalities.

ZINIDA

Give him ten francs and let him go.

MANCINI

Ten! Never! _Fifteen!_ Don't be stubborn, Papa. For the traditions of my house--twenty. I swear--on my honour--I can't do with less. [BRIQUET _hands him twenty francs. Nonchalantly_] _Merci._ Thanks.

ZINIDA

Why don't you take it from your baron?

MANCINI

[_Raising his eyebrows haughtily, quite indignant_]: From the Baron?

Woman! who do you think I am that I should be beholden to a stranger?

ZINIDA