He Who Gets Slapped Part 3

You're plotting something artful. I know you very little, but I guess you're an awful scoundrel.

MANCINI

[_Laughs_]: Such an insult from such beautiful lips.

[_Enter an "artist," apparently an athlete._]

ATHLETE

Papa Briquet, there's a gentleman from beyond the grave asking for you.

ACTRESS

A ghost?

ATHLETE

No. He seems alive. Did you ever see a drunken ghost?

BRIQUET

If he's drunk, tell him I'm out, Thomas. Does he want to see me or the Count?

ATHLETE

No, you. Maybe he's not drunk, but just a ghost.

MANCINI

[_Draws himself together, puffs up_]: A society man?

ATHLETE

Yes. I'll tell him to come in.

[_One hears the whip cracking in the ring. The Tango sounds very low and distant--then comes nearer--louder. Silence._]

BRIQUET

[_Touching_ ZINIDA'S _arm_]: Tired?

ZINIDA

[_Drawing back a little_]: No.

POLLY

Your red lion is nervous to-day, Zinida!

ZINIDA

You shouldn't tease him.

POLLY

I played a melody from Traviata for him. And he sang with me. Wouldn't that be a good trick to stage, Papa Briquet?

[THOMAS _brings in the gentleman, points out the manager, and goes heavily away. The gentleman is not young, and he is ugly, but his rather strange face is bold and lively. He wears an expensive overcoat, with a fur collar, and holds his hat and gloves in his hand._]

GENTLEMAN

[_Bowing and smiling_]: Have I the pleasure of addressing the manager?

BRIQUET

Yes. Won't you sit down, please? Tilly, bring a chair.

GENTLEMAN

Oh! Don't trouble. [_Looks around._] These are your artists? Very glad----

MANCINI

[_Straightening and bowing slightly_]: Count Mancini.

GENTLEMAN

[_Surprised_]: Count?

BRIQUET

[_Indignantly_]: Yes, Count. And whom have I the honour of----

GENTLEMAN

I don't quite know myself--yet. As a rule you choose your own names, don't you? I have not chosen yet. Later you might advise me about it. I have an idea already, but I am afraid it sounds too much like literature--you know.

BRIQUET

Literature?

GENTLEMAN

Yes! Too sophisticated. [_They all look surprised._] I presume these two gentlemen are clowns? I am so glad. May I shake hands with them?

[_Stands up and shakes hands with clowns, who make silly faces._]

BRIQUET