He Who Gets Slapped Part 4

Excuse me--but what can I do for you?

GENTLEMAN

[_With the same pleasant, confident smile_]: Oh. You do something for me? No. I want to do something for you, Papa Briquet.

BRIQUET

_Papa_ Briquet? But you don't look like----

GENTLEMAN

[_Rea.s.suringly_]: It's all right. I shall become "like." These two gentlemen just made remarkable faces. Would you like to see me imitate them? Look! [_He makes the same silly faces as the clowns._]

BRIQUET

Yes! [_Involuntarily_] You are not drunk, sir?

GENTLEMAN

No. I don't drink as a rule. Do I look drunk?

POLLY

A little.

GENTLEMAN

No--I don't drink. It is a peculiarity of my talent.

BRIQUET

[_Familiarly_]: Where did you work before? Juggler?

GENTLEMAN

No. But I am glad you feel in me a comrade, Papa Briquet. Unfortunately I am not a juggler, and have worked nowhere--I am--just so.

MANCINI

But you look like a society man.

GENTLEMAN

Oh, you flatter me, Count. I am just so.

BRIQUET

Well, what do you want? You see I am obliged to tell you that everything is taken.

GENTLEMAN

That's immaterial. I want to be a clown, if you will allow me. [_Some of the actors smile_, BRIQUET _begins to grow angry_.]

BRIQUET

But what can you do? You're asking too much. What can you do?

GENTLEMAN

Why! Nothing! Isn't that funny! I can't do a thing.

BRIQUET

No, it's not funny. Any scoundrel knows that much.

GENTLEMAN

[_Rather helpless, but still smiling and looking around_]: We can invent something----

BRIQUET

[_Ironically_]: From literature?

[_The clown Jackson enters slowly without being noticed by the others.

He stands behind the gentlemen._]

GENTLEMAN

Yes, one can find something literary, too. A nice little speech for instance on, let's say, a religious topic. Something like a debate among the clowns.

BRIQUET

A debate! The devil! This is no academy.

GENTLEMAN

[_Sadly_]: I am very sorry. Something else then. Perhaps a joke about the creation of the world and its rulers?

BRIQUET

What about the police? No, no--nothing like that!

JACKSON

[_Coming forward_]: The rulers of the world? You don't like them? I don't either. Shake.

BRIQUET

[_Introducing_]: Our chief clown, the famous Jackson.