The Foolish Dictionary Part 7

=DIMPLE= A ripple in the gentle whirlpool of a pretty woman's smile.

=DIPLOMAT= An international liar, with an elastic conscience and a rubber neck.

=DISCOUNT= Something often sold in place of goods.

=DISCRETION= An instinctive perception that enables us to say, "Oh, shut up!" to the small, weak man, and "I beg your pardon, but I do not entirely agree with your views," to the large, strong one.

=DIVE= A gambler's retreat.

=DIVIDENDS= A gambler's reward.

=DIVORCE= Nominally, separation of husband and wife from the bonds of matrimony. In the vicinity of Newport it is frequently a legal formula that immediately precedes a fas.h.i.+onable wedding.

=DOCK= A place for laying up.

=DOCTOR= One who lays you up.

=DREAM= What a man may call a woman, though a Pill may have suggested it. Sweethearts are dreams because they seldom come true; wives, because they're often a night-mare, and both because they go by contraries.

=DRAFT= (=DRAUGHT=) What gives a cold, cures a cold, and pays the doctor's bill.

=DROP-St.i.tCH= A kind of feminine hosiery designed to prevent the men from paying too much attention to the open-work, "peek-a-boo" s.h.i.+rt-waist.

=DRUM= Something noisy, and made to beat.

=DRUMMER= Something noisy, but impossible to beat. From the Grk.

_drimus_, meaning sharp. Hence, something sharp, that always carries its point and sticks whoever it can.

=DUST= Mud with the juice squeezed out.

=DYNAMITE=

[Ill.u.s.tration]

The peroration of an anarchist's argument.

=DYSPEPSIA= A good foundation for a bad temper.

Out of sight, only in mind.--_Ballad of the Blind Beggar_.

E

A word to the wise is useless.

=EAGLE= The national bird of a Christian country; (the United States.) Presumably chosen on account of its being a bird of pray.

=EARL= A t.i.tle of n.o.bility.

=EARLY= A t.i.tle of stupidity. See old saw,

"Early to bed and early to rise, Makes a man a farmer!"

=EARTH=

[Ill.u.s.tration]

A solid substance, much desired by the seasick.

=ECHO= The only thing that can cheat a woman out of the last word.