The Foolish Dictionary Part 8

=ECONOMY= Denying ourselves a necessary to-day in order to buy a luxury to-morrow.

=EGG=

[Ill.u.s.tration]

A wholesome, yet fowl, product, of no use until broken. Sometimes a cure for indigestion or bad acting.

=ELECTION=

[Ill.u.s.tration]

A periodical picnic for the American People. Held in booths, where the Voter puts in his ballot, and The Machine elects whatever it chooses. A day when the lowliest may make their mark and even beggars may ride; when the Glad Mit gets promiscuous and everything is full--particularly the lodging-houses.

=ENCORE= A greedy theatre-goer's desire to get more than his money's worth. From the Fr. _en_, among, and _cochon_, pig,--common among pigs.

=ENGAGEMENT= In war, a battle. In love, the salubrious calm that precedes the real hostilities.

=ENTHUSIAST= One who preaches four times as much as he believes and believes four times as much as a sane man ought to.

=EPITAPH= A statement that usually lies above about the one who lies beneath.

=EQUATOR=

[Ill.u.s.tration]

An imaginary line around the earth. Recently held by J.P. Morgan.

=ERR= To make a mistake.

=ERRATIC= Full of mistakes.

=ETHER= One of the world's three great composers--the others being Gas and Chloroform--whose airs are popular among the suffering.

=ETIQUETTE= A convenient code of conduct which makes Lying a virtue and Sn.o.bbishness a righteous deed.

=EVOLUTION= A clever trick performed by one Darwin, who made a monkey of Adam.

=EXCURSION= From _ex_. former, and Grk. _kairo_, to enjoy. Hence, a tiresome journey--formerly an enjoyment--sold at half price.

=EXERCISE= Bodily exertion requiring a $10,000 gymnasium, a ten-acre lot and impossible raiment. Originally confined to the wash-tub and the wood-pile.

=EXPANSION= A combination of Grand Larceny and Piracy, involving the destruction of the Const.i.tution and Declaration of Independence.--Boston.

The benevolent a.s.similation of previously oppressed peoples--Was.h.i.+ngton, D.C.

A doubtful commercial experiment.--Wall Street.

The white man's burden.--Kipling.

=EXPLOSION= A good chance to begin at the bottom and work up.

=EXPOSITION= An overgrown Department Store, usually opened a year or two behind time.

It's never too late to spend.

F

A bird on the plate is worth two on the bonnet.