Quips and Quiddities Part 21

Tame is Virtue's school; Paint, as more effective, Villain, knave, and fool, With always a Detective.

Hate for Love may sit; Gloom will do for Gladness; Banish Sense and Wit, And dash in lots of Madness.

Stir the broth about; Keep the furnace glowing; Soon we'll pour it out In three bright volumes flowing.

Some may jeer and jibe: _We_ know where the shop is, Ready to subscribe For a thousand copies!

LORD NEAVES, _Songs and Verses_.

Th' young men noo-a-days, they're poor squashy things--the' looke well anoof, but the' woon't wear, the' woon't wear.

_"Mester" Ford_, in GEORGE ELIOT's _Mr. Gilfil_.

"Where are the boys of my youth?" I a.s.sure you this is not a conundrum. Some are amongst you here--some in America--some are in gaol.

Hence arises a most touching question: "Where are the girls of my youth?" Some are married--some would like to be.

C. F. BROWNE, _Artemus Ward's Lecture_.

Mark how the lorgnettes cautiously they raise Lest points, no pose so thoughtless but displays, A too quick curiosity should hide-- For they who gaze must gazed-at be beside.

ALFRED AUSTIN, _The Season_.

I sent the book down to the Dean, from Saunders and Otley's. Speaking of that firm, I don't know whether I told you of young Sutton, Lord Canterbury's son, calling there one day very angry, because they had not sent him some books he had ordered. He was, as usual, pretty warm, and so much so that one of the partners could bear it no longer, and told him as much. "I don't know who you are," was the answer, "but I don't want to annoy you _personally_, as you may not be the one in fault: it's your confounded house that I blame. You may be Otley, or you may be Saunders; if you are Saunders, d---- Otley; if you are Otley, d---- Saunders. I mean nothing personal _to you_."

R. H. BARHAM, _Life_.

Of all actions of a man's life, his marriage does least concern other people, yet of all actions of our life 'tis most meddled with by other people.

SELDEN, _Table Talk_.

A grave and quiet man was he, Who loved his book and rod,-- So even ran his line of life His neighbours thought it odd.

He ne'er aspired to rank or wealth, Nor cared about a name, For though much famed for fish was he, He never fished for fame!

Let others bend their necks at sight Of Fas.h.i.+on's gilded wheels, He ne'er had learned the art to "bob"

For anything but eels!

JOHN G.o.dFREY SAXE, _Poems_.

A little knowledge of the world is a very dangerous thing, especially in literature.

_Lord Montfort_, in LORD BEACONSFIELD's _Endymion_.

Si les hommes ne se flattaient pas les uns les autres, il n'y aurait guere de societe.

VAUVENARGUES, _Reflexions_.

The gravest aversion exists among bears From rude forward persons who give themselves airs,-- We know how some graceless young people were maul'd For plaguing a Prophet, and calling him _bald_.

Strange ursine devotion! their dancing-days ended, Bears die to "remove" what, in life, they defended: They succour'd the Prophet, and, since that affair, The bald have a painful regard for the bear.

FREDERICK LOCKER, _London Lyrics_.

Heaven knows what would become of our sociality if we never visited people we speak ill of; we should live, like Egyptian hermits, in crowded solitude.

GEORGE ELIOT, _Janet's Repentance_.

Methinks the older that one grows Inclines us more to laugh than scold, though laughter Leaves us so doubly serious shortly after.

LORD BYRON, _Beppo_.

We ought never to contend for what we are not likely to obtain.

CARDINAL DE RETZ, _Memoirs_.

"I will never marry a woman who cannot carve,"

said M----. "Why?" "Because she would not be a help-meat for me."

_Literary Gazette._

Twinkle, twinkle, little bat!

How I wonder what you're at!

Up above the world you fly, Like a tea-tray in the sky.

LEWIS CARROLL, _Alice in Wonderland_.

We had for dinner, among other things, a ham which was not well flavoured; and Mrs. Frederick Mackenzie, who was annoyed about it, began apologizing, and saying that Ellerton, the local grocer, had sold it to her as something very excellent, and as a genuine Westphalia. "Ah!" said Compton, "I cannot determine precisely whether it is east or west, but it is a _failure_ of some sort."

R. B. CARTER, in _Memoir of H. Compton_.

One of the company a.s.serting that he had seen a pike caught, which weighed thirty-six pounds, and was four feet in length,--"Had it been a sole," said Harry [Sandford], "it would have surprised me less, as Shakespeare tells us, 'All the _souls_ that are, were _four feet_ (forfeit) once.'"