Quips and Quiddities Part 36

LA ROCHEFOUCAULD, _Reflexions_.

_ON THE HOUSE OF COMMONS_.

When lately Pym descended into h.e.l.l, Ere he the cups of Lethe did carouse, What place that was, he called loud to tell; To whom a Devil--"This is the Lower House."

WILLIAM DRUMMOND (1585-1649).

The working-man is a n.o.ble creature--when he is quite sober.

_Alexis_, in W. S. GILBERT's _Sorcerer_.

_DEFENDANT'S SONG._

When first my old, old love I knew, My bosom swelled with joy; My riches at her feet I threw,-- I was a love-sick boy!

No terms seemed too extravagant Upon her to employ-- I used to mope, and sigh, and pant, Just like a love-sick boy!

But joy incessant palls the sense, And love, unchanged, will cloy, And she became a bore intense Unto her love-sick boy!

With fitful glimmer burnt my flame, And I grew cold and coy, At last, one morning, I became Another's love-sick boy!

W. S. GILBERT, _Trial by Jury_.

Dining one day where the host became exceedingly excited and angry at not being able to find any stuffing in a roasted leg of pork, Poole quietly suggested, "Perhaps it is in the other leg?"

J. R. PLANCHe, _Recollections_.

In 1848, Feargus O'Connor was charged in the House with being a republican. He denied it, and said he did not care whether the Queen or the Devil was on the throne. Peel replied: "When the honourable gentleman sees the sovereign of his choice on the throne of these realms, I hope he'll enjoy, and I'm sure he'll deserve, the confidence of the Crown."

ABRAHAM HAYWARD, _Essays_.

I loiter down by thorp and town; For any job I'm willing; Take here and there a dusty brown, And here and there a s.h.i.+lling.

I deal in every ware in turn, I've rings for buddin' Sally, That sparkle like those eyes of her'n; I've liquor for the valet.

The things I've done 'neath moon and stars Have got me into messes; I've seen the sky through prison bars, I've torn up prison dresses.

But out again I come, and show My face, nor care a stiver; For trades are brisk and trades are slow, But mine goes on for ever.

C. S. CALVERLEY, _Fly Leaves_.

They may talk of the devotion of the s.e.x, but the most faithful attachment in life is that of a woman in love--with herself.

_Damas_, in LORD LYTTON's _Lady of Lyons_.

They may talk as they please about what they call pelf, And how one ought never to think of one's self, And how pleasures of thought surpa.s.s eating and drinking-- My pleasure of thought is the pleasure of thinking How pleasant it is to have money, heigh ho!

How pleasant it is to have money!

_Spirit_, in A. H. CLOUGH's _Dipsychus_.

Women are generally consistent in their insincerity, if in nothing else.

ANNA C. STEELE.

La plus perdue de toutes les journees est celle ou l'on n'a pas ri.

CHAMFORT, _Maximes_.

Oh, how can a modest young man E'er hope for the smallest progression-- The profession's already so full Of lawyers so full of profession?

JOHN G.o.dFREY SAXE, _Poems_.

I was speaking [to Charles Lamb] of my first brief, when he asked, "Did you not exclaim-- 'Thou great first cause, least understood'?"

CRABB ROBINSON, _Diary_.

Eye-gla.s.s--a toy which enables a c.o.xcomb to see others, and others to see that he is a c.o.xcomb.

HORACE SMITH, _The Tin Trumpet_.

Some brag of telegraphs and rails, Coals, steam, and gas, and a' that, But rattling mails and cotton bales Ne'er made a man for a' that; For a' that, and a' that, Their figures, facts, and a' that, The first of facts is Thought, and what High Thought begets, for a' that!

J. S. BLACKIE, _Musa Burschicosa_.

Virginia city--the wild young metropolis of the new Silver State. Fortunes are made there in a day. There are instances on record of young men going to this place without a s.h.i.+lling--poor and friendless--yet by energy, intelligence, and a careful disregard to business, they have been enabled to leave there, owing hundreds of pounds.

C. F. BROWNE, _Artemus Ward's Lecture_.

Nothing is accounted so proper in England as property.

_Guesses at Truth._

As the husband is, the wife is,--he is stomach-plagued and old; And his curry soups will make thy cheek the colour of his gold.