Martha Part 3

(SHERIFF _ducks to avoid kiss and leaves wig in her hands_. _He runs wildly about stage, clutching alternately at his bald head, and at the wig, which the girls toss back and forth, while he tries to s.n.a.t.c.h it. Finally one of the farmers catches it and restores it to sheriff. He puts it on and some one brings him his hat._)

FARMER (_speaks_). Young hussies, you must do better than this when you get to working for us. Behave yourselves, now!

SHERIFF (_much distressed, almost weeping with rage_). I bind you all over to keep the peace on penalty of 10 s.h.i.+llings fine. (_Pounds with his staff._) Does the majesty of the law mean naught to ye?

Silence (_they laugh_), you low bred populace. But what can one expect from populace? Pah! They are beneath my notice. (_Looks scornfully at them while music begins. A girl laughingly sticks out her tongue at him. He glares at her. She does it again. He looks hastily away and then back. She throws him a kiss, and all the rest follow suit. He scowls, but his face gradually softens into a smirk. The farmers drag the girls back into a line.

Sheriff unrolls a parchment, that he takes from pocket of his big gown. He sings._)

NO. 6.

SHERIFF. We, Anne, Queen of England, greet ye!

(_s.n.a.t.c.hes off his hat, farmers do the same._) Bonnets off, and mine likewise.

I no ceremony spare!

We hereby do recognize Ev'ry contract good and sound Made in Richmond market bound; Every la.s.s who here is hired, Dating from this very day, Till the year is full expired, Must with her new master stay.

If he pay the money down The bargain cannot be undone.

Have you heard?

CHO. We know, sir, it is so, sir.

SHER. Now you stand up in a row.

(_Servants stand in line; he arranges them._)

Tell us, Moll, what you can do.

(_One maid steps forward a little, bobs a curtsey._)

1ST MAID. I can darn, sir, I can sew, sir, I can milk and I can mow, sir.

I can bake and mend and make And garden beds I can weed and rake.

1ST FARMER (_steps forward_). All for just four pounds a year.

Well, at that she is not dear. (_Takes girl one side._)

SHER. (_to next girl_). Now, my la.s.s, what can you do?

2D MAID (_curtseys_). I can mend, sir, sew a b.u.t.ton, On old socks new feet can put on, I can roast and boil and stew, Can churn and chop and also brew.

SHER. Five pounds a year, 'Tis for a song, now!

2D FARMER (_steps up and leads her aside_).

Here's my hand, done! Come along!

Sher. Come, it's your turn now to speak.

3D MAID (_curtseys_). I can clean, sir, I can scrub, sir, I'm a good one at a tub, sir, Yes, to every sort of work, My hand I turn and never s.h.i.+rk.

SHER. Kitty Bell and Johnny Snell, And Nelly Browne and Sally Towne.

CHO. OF SERVANTS. How to care for babes I know, sir, Bless 'em, I do love 'em so, sir, I can take the cows to graze, sir, And of poultry know the ways, sir; I can bake and boil and brew, sir, I can sew on b.u.t.tons, too.

MEN. I'm accustomed pigs to keep, sir, Also, horses, cows and sheep, sir, Pork and beef in brine I steep, sir, Yes, and do the mowing cheap, sir; I can dig a garden bed And make a cabbage grow a head.

Ha, if you pay the cash, We'll work just like a flash.

Ho, it's very clear, All settled for a year.

Ho, now the deed is done, We'll work like fun!

(_The servants flock around him as they sing and gather closer and closer till he puts his hands over his ears and tries to get away from them. They crowd around and sing into his face and over his shoulders._)

SHER. _(with hands at ears_). Stop your cackling! You'll make me deaf!

FARMERS. We are ready to choose, but one at a time, please.

(_Girls drop back into line; farmers move about among them_, LIONEL _and_ PLUNKET _also, as if bargaining with them_. _Enter_ LADY HARRIET, NANCY _and_ TRISTAN _in peasant costume_.)

LADY H. Come on, John! Courage man! n.o.body's going to hurt you!

NAN. Come, friend John! Don't look so scared. We'll take care of you!

TRIS. John? O, im-pos-si-ble! O, pre-pos-ter-ous! I don't like this one bit. It is most unseemly. Yet--where beauty leads, love fain must follow.

LADY H. How gay they all seem! They at least are happy.

TRIS. I know I am not! I never felt less jolly before (_plaintively_) in all my life. (_Aside._) I feel as if I were going to cry.

(_Face works._)

(PLUNKET _and_ LIONEL _approach the three and stand at a short distance, gazing at_ LADY H. _and_ NANCY.)

PLUN. Jove! There's a brace of darlings!

LIO. Yes, they are very pretty girls.

PLUN. Rather slim built for hard work, though.

LIO. They might do house work?

PLUN. Yes, they might serve indoors. I don't know--(_pauses_)

TRIS. See those clodhoppers! How they stare at you. O, do be persuaded to leave this horrid, horrid place.

LADY H. _and_ NAN (_together_). No, indeed. We like it and we are going to stay.

TRIS. I think those fellows are very suspicious looking characters.

A pair of rogues. Let's go (_urging them by taking their arms_).

LADY H. I'm not under your orders, sir. It is my pleasure to stay.

I'll do exactly as I choose!

TRIS. Well, I wash my hands of all responsibility. Don't say I didn't warn you.

NAN (_sees that_ PLUNKET _and_ LIONEL _are watching her_). Those lads have an eye for a good thing, though. (_To_ TRISTAN.) We'll take all the blame. No one shall say that you led us into mischief, poor dear!