The English Spy Part 16

25 Scapula, Hederic, and Lexicon, the princ.i.p.al Dictionaries in use for studying Greek.

~136~~ Over the fire-place hung a caricature portrait of a well-known Bachelor of Arts, drinking at the _Pierian spring, versus_ gulping down the contents of a Pembroke _overman_,{26} sketched by the facetious pencil of the humorist, Rowlandson.

[Ill.u.s.tration: page136]

ECCe SIGNUM.

I could not help laughing to observe on the one side of this jolly personage a portrait of the little female Giovanni Vestris, under which some wag had inscribed, "_A Mistress of Hearts_," and on the other a full-length of Jackson the pugilist, with this motto--"A striking likeness of a fancy lecturer."

26 An Herman--At Pembroke, a large silver tankard, holding two quarts and half a pint, so called from the donor, Mr.

George Overman. The late John Hudson, the college tonsor and _common room man_,{*} was famous for having several times, for trifling wagers, drank a full overman of strong beer off at a draught. A Tun, another vessel in use at Pembroke, is a half pint silver cup. A Whistler, a silver pint tankard also in use there, was the gift of Mr. Anthony Whistler, a cotemporary with Shenstone.

* Common room man, a servant who is entirely employed in attending upon the members of the common room.

Junior common room, a room in every college, except Christ Church, set apart for the junior members to drink wine in and read the newspapers.

N.B. There is but one common room at Christ Church; none but masters of arts and n.o.blemen can be members of it,--the latter but seldom attend. The last who attended was the late Duke of Dorset. All common rooms are regularly furnished with newspapers and magazines.

_Curator of the common rooms_.-A senior master of arts, who buys the wine and inspects the accounts.

~137~~ In the centre of the opposite side hung the portrait of an old _scout_, formerly of Brazennose, whose head now forms the admission ticket to the college club. Right and left were disposed the plaster busts of Aristotle and Cicero; the former noseless, and the latter with his eyes painted black, and a huge pair of mustachios annexed. A few volumes of the Latin and Greek cla.s.sics were thrown into a heap in one corner of the room, while numerous modern sporting publications usurped their places on the book shelves, richly gilt and bound in calf, but not lettered. The hunting cap, whip, and red coat were hung up like a trophy between two foxes' tails, which served the purpose of bell pulls. At this moment, my topographical observations were disturbed by the arrival of the scout with candles, and two strange-looking fellows in smock frocks, bringing in, as I supposed, a piano forte, but which, upon being placed on the table, proved to be a mere case: the top being taken off, the sides and ends let down in opposite directions, and the cloth pulled out straight, displayed an elegant dinner, smoking hot, and arranged in as much form as if the college butler had superintended the feast.

"Come, old fellow," said Tom, "turn to--no ceremony. I hope, Jem," addressing his scout, "you took care that no ~138~~ college telegraph{27} was at work while you were smuggling the dinner in."

"I made certain sure of that, sir," said Jem; "for I placed Captain Cook{28} sentinel at one corner of the quadrangle, and old Brady at the other, with directions to whistle, as a signal, if they saw any of the _dons_ upon the look out."

Finding we were not likely to be interrupted by the _domine_, Tom took the chair. The fellows in the smock frocks threw off their disguises, and proved to be two genteelly dressed waiters from one of the inns.

"Close the oak, Jem," said Horace Eglantine, "and take care no one knocks in{29} before we have knocked down the contents of your master's musical melange." "_Punning_ as usual, Eglantine," said the Honourable Mr. Sparkle, a gentleman commoner. "Yes; and _pun_-is.h.i.+ng too, old fellow!" said Horace. "Where's the _cold tankard_,{30} Echo?

27 A college telegraph--A servant of a college, who carries an account of every trifling offence committed, either by gentlemen or servants, to the college officers.

28 Well-known characters in Christ Church.

29 Knocking in--Going into college after half-past ten at night. The names of the gentlemen who knock in are entered by the porter in a book kept for that purpose, and the next morning it is carried to the dean and censors, who generally call upon the parties so offending to account for being out of college at so late an hour. A frequent recurrence of this practice will sometimes draw from the dean a very severe reprimand.

Knocking in money--Fines levied for knocking into college at improper hours: the first fine is fixed at half-past ten, and increased every half hour afterwards. These fines are entered on the batter book, and charged among the battels and decrements,* a portion of which is paid to the porter quarterly, for being knocked up.

30 Cold tankard--A summer beverage, used at dinner, made of brandy, cider, or perry, lemons cut in slices, cold water, sugar, nutmeg, cinnamon, and the herbs balm and burridge.

Sometimes sherry or port wine is subst.i.tuted for cider. The tankard is put into a pitcher, which is iced in a tub, procured from the confectioners.

* Decrements.--The use of knives, folks, spoons, and other necessaries, with the firing, &c. for the hall and chapel.

~139~~ We must give our old _con_, Blackmantle, a warm reception."

"Sure, that's a Paddyism"{31} said a young Irish student. "Nothing of the sort," replied Horace: "are we not all here the sons of Isis (Ices)?

and tell me where will you find a group of warmer hearted souls?"

"Bravo! bravo!" shouted the party. "That fellow Eglantine will create another _Pun_-ic war," said Sparkle. "I move that we have him crossed in the b.u.t.tery{32} for making us laugh during dinner, to the great injury of our digestive organs, and the danger of suffocation." "What! deprive an Englishman of his right to battel{33}" said Echo: "No; I would sooner inflict the orthodox fine of a double b.u.mper of _bishop_."

"Bravo!" said Horace: "then I plead guilty, and swallow the imposition."

"I'll thank you for a cut out of the back of that _lion_,"{34} t.i.ttered a man opposite. With all the natural timidity of the hare whom he thus particularised, I was proceeding to help him, when Echo inquired if he should send me the breast of a swiss {35} and the facetious Eglantine, to increase my confusion, requested to be allowed to cut me a slice off the wing of a wool bird.{36}

31 A Paddyism is called in this university a "Thorpism" from Mr. Thorp, formerly a hosier of some note in the city. He was famous for making blunders and coining new words, was very fond of making long speeches, and when upon _the toe_, never failed to convulse his hearers with laughter.

32 Crossed in the b.u.t.tery--not allowed to battel, a punishment for missing lecture. By being frequently crossed, a man will lose his term.

33 Battels--Bread, b.u.t.ter, cheese, salt, eggs, &c.

34 A lion--a hare.

35 Siciss--a pheasant.

36 Wing of a wool bird--Shoulder of lamb.

~140~~ To have remonstrated against this species of persecution would, I knew, only increase my difficulties; summoning, therefore, all the gaiety I was master of to my aid, I appeared to partic.i.p.ate in the joke, like many a modern _roue_, laughing in unison without comprehending the essence of the whim, merely because it was the fas.h.i.+on. What a helpless race, old father Etona, are thine (thought I), when first they a.s.sume the Oxford man; spite of thy fostering care and cla.s.sic skill, thy offspring are here little better than c.a.w.kers{37} or wild Indians. "Is there no glossary of university wit," said I, "to be purchased here, by which the fresh may be instructed in the art of conversation; no _Lexicon Balatronic.u.m_ of college eloquence, by which the ignorant may be enlightened?" "Plenty, old fellow," said Echo: "old Grose is exploded; but, never fear, I will introduce you to the _Dictionnaire Universel_,{38} which may always be consulted, at our _old grandmammas_'

in St. Clement's, or Eglantine can introduce you at Vincent's,{39} where better known as the poor curate of H----, crossed the channel.

37 c.a.w.ker--an Eton phrase for a stranger or novice.

38 Dictionnaire Universel--a standing toast in the common room at-----College.

The origin of the toast is as follows: When Buonaparte was at Elba, Dr. E-, one of the wealthy senior Fellows of ---- College.

Soon after his arrival at Paris, as he was walking through the streets of that city, he was accosted by an elegantly dressed Cyprian, to whom he made a profound bow, and told her (in English), that he was not sufficiently acquainted with the French language to comprehend what she had said to him, expressing his regret that he had not his French and English dictionary with him. Scarcely had he p.r.o.nounced the word dictionary, when the lady, by a most astonis.h.i.+ng display, which in England would have disgraced the lowest of the frail sisterhood, exclaimed, "Behold the Dictionnaire Universel, which has been opened by the learned of all nations."{39} Dr. E--, on his return from France, related this anecdote in the common room at ---------, and the Dictionnaire universel has ever since been a standing toast there.

39 A well known respectable bookseller near Brazennose, who has published a whimsical trifle under the t.i.tle of "Oxford in Epitome" very serviceable to freshmen. You may purchase "Oxford in Epitome," with a Key accompaniment explaining the whole art and mystery of the _finished style_.

~141~~ After a dissertation upon _new college puddings_,{40} rather a choice dish, an elegant dessert and ices was introduced from Jubbers.{41} The gla.s.s now circulated freely, and the open-hearted mirth of my companions gave me a tolerable idea of many of the leading eccentricities of a collegian's life. The Oxford toast, the college divinity, was, I found, a Miss W-, whose father is a wealthy horse-dealer, and whom all agreed was a very amiable and beautiful girl.

I discovered that Sadler, Randal, and Crabbe were rum ones for prime hacks--that the _Esculapii dii_ of the university, the demi-G.o.ds of medicine and surgery, were Messrs. Wall and Tuckwell--that all proctors were tyrants, and their men savage bull dogs--that good wine was seldom to be bought in Oxford by students--and pretty girls were always to be met at Bagley Wood--that rowing a fellow{42} was considered good sport, and an idle master{43} a jolly dog--that all tradesmen were duns, and all gownsmen suffering innocents--and lastly.

40 New College puddings--a favourite dish with freshmen, made of grated biscuit, eggs, suet, moist sugar, currants and lemon-peel, rolled into b.a.l.l.s of an oblong shape, fried in boiling fat, and moistened with brandy.

41 A celebrated Oxford pastry-cook.

42 Rowing a fellow--going with a party in the dead of the night to a man's room, nailing or s.c.r.e.w.i.n.g his oak up, so as it cannot be opened on the inside, knocking at his door, calling out fire, and when he comes to the door, burning a quant.i.ty of shavings, taken from halfpenny f.a.ggots dipped in oil from the staircase lamps, so as to impress him with an idea that the staircase, in which his rooms are, is on fire.

And when he is frightened almost out of his senses, setting up a most hideous horse-laugh and running away. This joke is practised chiefly upon quiet timid men.

43 An idle master--a Master of Arts on the foundation, who does not take pupils.

~142~~

I was informed that a freshman was a scamp without seasoning--and a fellow of no spirit till he had been pulled up before the big wig and suffered imposition{44} fine, and rustication.{45}

It was now half an hour since old _Magnus Thomas_ had tolled his heavy note, most of the party were a little cut,{46} and the salt pits of attic wit had long since been drained to the very bottom--Sparkle proposed an adjournment to the Temple of Bacchus,{47} while Echo and a man of Trinity set forth for the plains of Betteris.{48} Pleading the fatigues of the day, and promising to attend a spread{49} on the morrow to be given by Horace Eglantine, I was permitted to depart to my inn, having first received a caution from Echo to steer clear of the Don Peninsula{50} and the seat of magistracy.{51}

On regaining my inn, I was not a little surprised to hear the smirking barmaid announce me by my christian and surname, directing the waiter to place candles for Mr. Bernard Blackmantle in the _sanctum_. How the deuce, thought I, have these people discovered my family nomenclature, or are we here under the same system of _espionage_ as the puerile inhabitants of France, where every hotel-keeper, waiter, and servant, down to the very shoe-black, is a spy upon your actions, and a creature in the pay of the police{52} "Pray, waiter," said I, "why is this snug little _larium__ designated the sanctum_?"

44 Imposition--translations set by the Princ.i.p.al for absence and other errors.

45 Rustication is the term applied to temporary dismissal for non-observance of college discipline.

46 A little cut--half seas over.