Every Man in His Humour Part 11

MUS. Ay, sir, I know you by sight.

STEP. You sold me a rapier, did you not?

MUS. Yes, marry did I, sir.

STEP. You said it was a Toledo, ha?

MUS. True, I did so.

STEP. But it is none.

MUS. No, sir, I confess it, it is none.

STEP. Gentlemen, bear witness, he has confest it.

By G.o.d's lid, an you had not confest it --

LOR. JU. Oh, cousin, forbear, forbear.

STEP. Nay, I have done, cousin.

PROS. Why, you have done like a gentleman, he has confest it, what would you more?

LOR. JU. Sirrah, how dost thou like him?

PROS. Oh, it's a precious good fool, make much on him: I can compare him to nothing more happily than a barber's virginals; for every one may play upon him.

MUS. Gentleman, shall I intreat a word with you?

LOR. JU. With all my heart, sir, you have not another Toledo to sell, have you?

MUS. You are pleasant, your name is Signior Lorenzo, as I take it?

LOR. JU. You are in the right: 'Sblood, he means to catechise me, I think.

MUS. No, sir, I leave that to the Curate, I am none of that coat.

LOR. JU. And yet of as bare a coat; well, say, sir.

MUS. Faith, Signior, I am but servant to G.o.d Mars extraordinary, and indeed (this bra.s.s varnish being washed off, and three or four other tricks sublated) I appear yours in reversion, after the decease of your good father, Musco.

LOR. JU. Musco, 'sblood, what wind hath blown thee hither in this shape?

MUS. Your easterly wind, sir, the same that blew your father hither.

LOR. JU. My father?

MUS. Nay, never start, it's true, he is come to town of purpose to seek you.

LOR. JU. Sirrah Prospero, what shall we do, sirrah?

my father is come to the city.

PROS. Thy father: where is he?

MUS. At a gentleman's house yonder by St. Anthony's, where he but stays my return; and then --

PROS. Who's this? Musco?

MUS. The same, sir.

PROS. Why, how com'st thou trans.m.u.ted thus?

MUS. Faith, a device, a device, nay, for the love of G.o.d, stand not here, gentlemen, house yourselves, and I'll tell you all.

LOR. JU. But art thou sure he will stay thy return?

MUS. Do I live, sir? what a question is that!

PROS. Well, we'll prorogue his expectation a little: Musco, thou shalt go with us: Come on, gentlemen: nay, I pray thee, (good rascal) droop not, 'sheart, an our wits be so gouty, that one old plodding brain can outstrip us all. Lord, I beseech thee, may they lie and starve in some miserable spittle, where they may never see the face of any true spirit again, but be perpetually haunted with some church-yard hobgoblin in seculo seculorum.

MUS. Amen, Amen.

[EXEUNT.]

ACT III.

SCENE I.

ENTER Th.o.r.eLLO, AND PISO.

PIS. He will expect you, sir, within this half hour.

THO. Why, what's a clock?

PIS. New stricken ten.

THO. Hath he the money ready, can you tell?

PIS. Yes, sir, Baptista brought it yesternight.

THO. Oh, that's well: fetch me my cloak.

[EXIT PISO.]

Stay, let me see; an hour to go and come, Ay, that will be the least: and then 'twill be An hour before I can dispatch with him; Or very near: well, I will say two hours; Two hours? ha! things never dreamt of yet May be contrived, ay, and effected too, In two hours' absence: well, I will not go.

Two hours; no, fleering opportunity, I will not give your treachery that scope.

Who will not judge him worthy to be robb'd, That sets his doors wide open to a thief, And shews the felon where his treasure lies?