The Life and Adventures of Maj. Roger Sherman Potter Part 23

CHAPTER XLVII.

OF THE GENERAL'S RECOVERY, AND HIS INTERVIEW WITH MR. TICKLER; ALSO, OF THE LANDING AT BUZABUB, AND VARIOUS OTHER STRANGE AND AMUSING THINGS.

WHEN the general was sufficiently recovered from the effects of the fall, he began thanking heaven that it was no worse, and inquiring of the officers who stood around him, each trying to emulate the other in offering him consolation, whether any of his predecessors had been thrown into the scuppers in this manner. "You may say there was a lack of skill, gentlemen; but I at least gave you a taste of my courage, which is something in these days." Thus he addressed them as he rose to his feet, with evident self-satisfaction, and believing in his heart that a man was as much to be praised for what he attempted as for what he achieved. "That you are a gentleman of courage no man with eyes in his head will dispute; and as our country is extremely fortunate in the possession of so brave a general, we have been saying among ourselves that the interests of the nation demand that you should be less prodigal of it!" replied one of the officers.

"It affords me no small pleasure that you can bear witness of what you have seen; for although this misfortune may not comport with my dignity as a minister sent to preserve friendly relations with a savage king, you will at least say it was an enterprise that tested the quality of my metal. As I have always said, a man had better stick to his functions; for if he mount strange horses, his head may prove so wanting in brain that he will certainly fall to the ground a great fool. But you have seen enough to satisfy you of my courage, and now I must hasten to my secretary, who is no small man, though unaccustomed to the perils we soldiers know so well how to enjoy."

So making them a bow, the general proceeded to Mr. Tickler's cabin, where he found that gentleman busily engaged over a pot of Rushton's pomade, which, together with two bottles of Lubin's double extract, had been presented to him by the officers, as a balm to heal his injured dignity. "This is no joke, your excellency," said the discomfited critic; "you may smile at a man with his beard full of tar; but let your excellency just try it with his own, and I wager he'll wish the devil had it before he gets it restored." The general laid his hand on Mr. Tickler's arm, encouragingly, and replied, "Friend Tickler, heaven has given you a good understanding, and it comforts me that you take this little affair no worse."

"How much worse your excellency would have it I know not. And it occurs to my mind that this mauling and sc.r.a.ping is no part of my mission. I am not a malefactor, but a man sent abroad to serve his country, which it is my intention to do faithfully, if only they leave my dignity undamaged."

"It's not every one thinks so well of his dignity, friend Tickler,"

interposed the general.

"I am glad your excellency speaks in this way; for if a man bring his dignity to an end, pray what use is he to his country?"

"There your philosophy is at fault, Tickler; for many's the man now in the service of his country who has not so much dignity as my horse Battle. Console yourself, sir, and remember that hards.h.i.+ps are the prop-sticks of a rising man's glory. And having borne your part in this ceremony with such consummate fort.i.tude, you must know that the officers set you down for a terrible fellow."

"Let them practice their pranks on some one else, or by the saints they shall suffer for it. But tell me, your excellency, is it a custom with secretaries to trick their landlords, undergo these batterings and bruisings, and go for weeks without a s.h.i.+lling? If it be, Orlando Tickler returns to his profession of a critic! And to tell you the truth, sir, it is not clear to me of whom I am to get pay for my services at this outlandish court. But pray where is this Kalorama? for I have puzzled my brain over it not a little. And while you are about it, please enlighten me further on the benefits this mission of yours will bestow upon mankind, that I may be instructed while I am getting this grease and tar out of my beard."

"A good diplomatist, I have heard it said, friend Tickler, never blurts out what he means to do, but keeps a still tongue until he has effected his ends. Keep then your faith square, ask no questions, watch closely, and the result shall come as clear as day to you when I am on the field." The secretary gradually became more reconciled to his fate, and soon renewed the labor of restoring his beard.

Several days now pa.s.sed with so much pleasantry that the general and his secretary became the admiration of all on board. Not a man, from the commander down to the humblest "ordinary," but was eager to pay them homage, minister to their comfort, or afford them amus.e.m.e.nt.

They were thus happily pursuing their voyage when the commander, one pleasant evening, having entertained the general with various sea stories, was approached by one of his officers, who reported that Spark Island had been sighted from aloft. This news sent a thrill of joy into the hearts of all on board, for Spark Island lay ten leagues off the coast of Kalorama. Every eye was now fixed in the direction indicated, and many were the gla.s.ses brought into use.

After various scannings, what seemed a mere speck on the horizon was p.r.o.nounced by the commander to be nothing less than the famous Spark Island, a bit of land quite resembling the steeple of one of our fas.h.i.+onable churches, and which nature, in one of her strange freaks had ejected from the bottom of the sea, that certain gulls and other sea-birds, having no other convenient place to build their nests, might take advantage of its solitude. "Verily, your excellency,"

said the commander, addressing General Potter with great suavity of manner, "there is so curious a history connected with this pitiful little island, that I feel you would be deeply interested with a recital of it."

"Indeed, sir," returned the general, "as this history concerns me as a diplomatist, I should be delighted to hear it from your lips."

"You must know, then," resumed the commander, "that the natives along the coast have a tradition they firmly believe in, and which sets forth that this island was thrown up by a special act of providence as a place of refuge for a poor priest, a good and holy man, who, being admitted to the confidence of the court of a Chief then ruling over Kalorama, was discovered, by a keen-sighted attendant, in an amour with one of his daughters, a girl of so much beauty that various chiefs had come from the east, and the west, and the north, and the south, to lay their offerings at her feet. But to none of them would she give her hand and heart. And although the priest protested his innocence before heaven, and the girl, whose name was Matura, declared her chast.i.ty as unsullied as the driven snow, the father was not to be moved, but per-emptorily ordering them both into a canoe, sent them to drift at the mercy of the waves, a merited banishment-in his eyes. Many years pa.s.sed, and nothing being heard of the priest and Matura, it was thought the sea had swallowed them up, when they were discovered on this lonely island by some Spanish adventurers from a neighboring coast. The priest at once gave the visitors an account of how the island rose from the ocean by special providence for his protection, together with a minute description of all that had taken place since their banishment. He had chanted vespers regularly three times a day, while Matura had confessed to him, sang to him, and made him garments of the feathers of birds, the flesh of which furnished them with food. What seemed most singular, was that although their locks were whitened with the cares of fourscore years, both stood ready to swear before an inquisition of saints that neither in thought nor deed had they sinned against the commandments.

"Meanwhile the servant, instrumental in procuring the banishment of the priest and Matura, was brought to his death-bed, and as he was troubled about leaving this world with so deep a crime in his heart, he came out and declared that the charge he had brought against the priest and Matura was a tissue of lies which he had been bribed to promulgate by another priest, to whom he was in the habit of confessing. But the innocence thus revealed was of no avail; for the priest and Matura died on the island, and there was an end of it as far as that went.

"The Spaniards returned and reported the discovery to their people, as also the story of the priest and Matura. Whereupon the Spaniards laid claims to Spark Island, they being, as they a.s.serted, the first discoverers. But the story, together with the discovery, was not long in coursing down the coast to the ears of the Kaloramas, who immediately fitted out a fleet of seven canoes, and dispatched them in charge of twenty stalwarth natives and a priest, who had taken high orders, such an one being held necessary to the safety of the expedition. Well, they descried the island, and having landed, found the bones of the priest and Matura in a cave, on the side of a steep bluff. And when these were brought home, the people of Kalorama went into deep mourning, and had them buried with great ceremony in a grove of cocoanut trees, where all girls of tender years were taught to go at early morning and lay offerings of flowers upon the grave of Matura the innocent.

"But there soon sprung up a great dispute as to the possession of this island. The Spaniards claimed it in virtue of their discovery, while the Kaloramas, with no less plausibility, a.s.serted a priority by virtue of its having been first inhabited by the priest and Matura, whom they claimed as citizens of Kalorama. And, notwithstanding a ma.n.u.script written by the priest while in his lonely exile, and describing how an All-wise Providence had created this island solely for his preservation, was by an intriguing Spaniard placed in the hands of the King of the Kaloramas as proof against his own countrymen, the question of possession rose into such gigantic proportions that a great war broke out between the disputants. And although neither could ever hope to derive the slightest benefit from its possession, the contest was b.l.o.o.d.y enough on both sides. And when they had fought many battles, involved various other nations, and desolated each other's dominions, they agreed that each should send a deputation of not less than three priests, who, when they had visited the island, should declare upon the merits of the case. Whereupon two expeditions were fitted out at great cost of time and treasure; but after cruising for more than thirty days, not a vestige of Spark Island could they find.

Therefore, it was agreed among the priests that as a visitation of providence had created the island for a holy purpose, so also had G.o.d in his wisdom caused it to sink into the sea, that an end might be put to the savage wars waged for its possession. And as neither party could dispute this solemn verdict of the priests, both cheerfully accepted it, and were for ever after inalienable friends.

And there is an end to that, as far as it goes.

"It was generally agreed that Spark Island had vanished, for nearly a century pa.s.sed, and not a mariner could be found to say he had seen it, though several were ready to swear by their b.u.t.tons that they had heard mermaids singing precisely where it once stood. And so matters remained until a few years ago, when two of our enterprising countrymen, who were cruising down this way in search of adventures, came upon it, and finding it covered with a rich and valuable manure, fancied it a new discovery, laid claim to it in the name of our government, and, blinded by their enthusiasm, declared it one of the greatest islands history had any account of, though truly it was but six furlongs long and four wide. Many and wonderful were the representations made to our government by these adventurers concerning this great discovery, and the benefits that were to flow from it to our country. The humblest husbandman was to get a mere pinch of its rich deposits, and, having sprinkled it over his broad acres, would immediately find them transferred into fields of luxuriant corn. Mere ounces were to make fertile the most sterile lands; and even old Virginia put on her spectacles, and began looking forward to the time when every bald hill, from the Rappahannock to the Blue Ridge, would wear a rich carpet of green.

"It was curious enough to see with what an open ear the government listened to these wonderful stories, and the agility with which it sent a great fleet, and a terrible commodore, to enforce our claim to the possession of this island. A dispute now arose between the Kaloramas and our government, regarding the nature of the discovery by these adventurers, and many learned and very profound opinions were given, describing its exact history and boundaries. When, however, we were on the point of declaring war against the Kaloramas, as the most sure way of getting the island, it turned out that all these authorities, discovering such profound knowledge, were wide off the mark. In addition to this, the fleet, after a long and pleasant cruise, which afforded the officers amus.e.m.e.nt enough to last them a life-time, at length found the island, which was so small that even the most reliable chart makers had neglected to locate it. They were, therefore, so much diverted at its apparent insignificance that they came to the very sensible conclusion that the few birds having their nests in it had the best claim to it; and, indeed, that to disturb them would be to inflict a great cruelty. After coming to this conclusion they returned home in excellent humor, and reported the result of the expedition (the report covered some sixteen folios) to the government at Was.h.i.+ngton, presenting it at the same time with a casket containing four ounces of the rich and highly-scented treasure found thereon. And I am informed that the government was so pleased with the result of this costly expedition that it has ever since remained profoundly silent on the subject-even refusing an enormous sum offered by a Philadelphia bookseller for the report, which he was anxious to publish, out of sheer love for the public. However, open questions of the smallest kind being indispensable to great governments, inasmuch as they afford occupation to diplomatists, and such idlers as follow the trade of politics, I must not forget to mention here that our government still continues secretly to dispute the point with the Kaloramas; even threatening to thrash them right soundly, unless they relinquish their claim. And here Spark Island stands, like the lone steeple of some forsaken church." Thus the commander concluded, when General Potter, who declared the history had deeply interested him, laid his hand confidentially on the arm of the speaker, saying: "There is, I verily believe, something said in my instructions concerning this Island. Just let me alone, and I warrant to have it safe in the possession of our government, (and a dozen more just like it!) in less time than you have been talking about it. As for the priest, though he never did me any harm, I hold it well that the amorous rascal was banished in a canoe, that being an easy way of getting rid of him. But my heart is tender, and you speak in such praise of this Matura's beauty, and chast.i.ty, that I shall surely go to bed weeping, if, indeed, I do not dream of hand to hand combats with her hard-hearted father. I shall not forget this affair, Mr. Commander! and shall give King Nebo to understand that I know all about the dirty tricks of his ancestors."

"I would like to know," inquired Mr. Tickler, "if there was anything said in the ma.n.u.script left by the priest, about his seeing Spark Island rise from the sea with his own eyes?"

"Nothing could have been more minutely described," replied the commander. "One moment there was only a broad sea-plain before him, in the next he saw it shoot up like a spark, which was why he called it Spark Island." Mr. Tickler declared himself entirely satisfied with this explanation, and was sure the priest could not have been mistaken.

When the night was far advanced the general and his secretary retired to their cabins, where they slept soundly, and awoke on the following morning, to find the s.h.i.+p safely moored in a snug little cove or harbor, opposite the Village of Buzabub, a seaport on the Coast of Kalorama, and so buried in Mango and Pride of India trees, as nearly to conceal the few shabby dwellings it contained. The general was up before the monkeys began to chatter, and anxiously paced the deck, in his new uniform, seeming to care for no one but old Battle, whom he every few minutes stopped to congratulate on the termination of the voyage, all of which the faithful animal seemed perfectly to understand. In truth, the general had evinced so much solicitude for his horse during the pa.s.sage, that the officers and men were quite as much diverted with the proofs of affection displayed by the faithful animal, as they were at the eccentricities of his master.

When then the general had paced the deck a sufficient length of time, he repaired to the cabin of his secretary, saying: "Friend Tickler, my learned secretary, get speedily up, for this is to be the most important day of my life, outs.h.i.+ning, by far, the day of my reception in New York. Get up, write me a speech that shall become this remarkable event, and so mix it up with Latin sentences, that these savages will take me for a profound scholar, and pay me courtesy accordingly; for I have a fear of their knives, which, I am told, have terminated the existence of several amba.s.sadors."

CHAPTER XLVIII.

ONE OF THE MOST TRUTHFUL ACCOUNTS OF HOW GENERAL POTTER SPENT A NIGHT AMONG THE DEAD.

TICKLER rose quickly from his bath, and applied himself diligently to the manufacturing of a most wonderful speech for his master. Nor was he at a loss for Latin sentences; for, having provided himself with a book of Latin proverbs, he could have supplied a mob of politicians with speeches, every word of which was Latin.

And so anxious was Tickler to serve his master, that he broke not his fast during the morning; nor, indeed, was he aware that breakfast was over, until the booming of thirteen guns brought him to a sense of his position. And those thirteen guns were intended for a salute, and were quite enough for a town so poor that it had not wherewith to answer them; and on that score, excused itself, for what might otherwise have been set down for a grave insult. But the general set every gun down in honor of himself, and was so vain of his exalted position, that he approached the commander, saying: "I thank you heartily for the great honor you have just paid me in the guns; and, let me tell you, sir, I value the compliment more, since it comes from one so worthy of his country as yourself. You have displayed great fort.i.tude and valor during this perilous voyage, which I shall not forget to mention in my dispatches, while my secretary will make due note of it in his letters to the newspapers, and I say it to you in confidence, he is correspondent for no less than seven." The commander bowed, and, smiling, thanked the general for this expression of his high regard.

A fleet of canoes was now seen putting off from sh.o.r.e. Advancing with great speed they soon reached the s.h.i.+p, which they surrounded, while one of their number, bearing two tawny chiefs, and a priest, who acted as an interpreter, made fast alongside. The chiefs and the priest came speedily on board, and were welcomed by the commander, with no little ceremony. And as the chiefs were decked out in a great profusion of feathers, and cloaks of as many colors as the rainbow, the general set them down for at least sons of the king, and commenced addressing them accordingly, when he was suddenly interrupted by the commander, who informed him that they were only messengers sent by the father, or chief magistrate of the village, to inquire for what object the s.h.i.+p was come. And when informed of the great and important character of the mission, they presented the amba.s.sador, as they were pleased to call the general, with two parrots and a male monkey, as a token of the friends.h.i.+p intended by their king, and also as a means of dispelling all apprehensions of evil designs. This done, the priest was invited into the cabin, where, to his great delight, refreshments were served, to which were added sundry strong beverages, which he drank with such avidity and evident relish, that the commander began to have fears for the safety of his understanding. Being a man of great compa.s.sion, the commander got the priest away. Thereupon he joined the chief, and together they returned to make preparations for the reception of our hero and his secretary. And when it was well nigh high noon, the general and his secretary disembarked amidst the booming of guns and the huzzas of the crew. And although this afforded him no small amount of pleasure, he expressed great anxiety lest the landing of old Battle be delayed another minute; "for," said he, "if it be necessary to make an impression on these savages, then let me have my horse, and you shall see how quick I will do it." As these little evidences of his weakness only served the more to divert the officers, they proceeded forthwith to effect the landing. Scarcely had he set foot on sh.o.r.e, however, when he was surrounded by a swarm of tawny beings, naked almost to the buff, and so eager to get a sight at so great an amba.s.sador, that they pressed forward with a clamor that threatened the most serious results to life and limbs, at the same time interposing a serious impediment to the progress of his train. Nor did his great rotundity, and the queer figure he cut in his uniform tend to lesson their excitement; for they commenced capering round him, hooting, and performing the most amusing antics,-all of which he mistook for expressions of grat.i.tude and joy. But as it was a custom with our government to select for ministers men who could not understand one word of the language spoken at the court to which they were accredited, so in this instance did its results prove highly fortunate; for, as neither could understand a word the other said, our government was saved from being called upon to resent the most flagrant outrages ever offered to one of its ministers. But as fortune always favors the great and chivalrous, the priest with whom he had an interview in the morning, suddenly came to the rescue, and so great was his power over the poor natives, that they held their peace at the raising of his finger, and dispersed to a respectful distance at his bidding.

Diminutive a.s.ses were now brought, and when the company were mounted, the priest escorted them, on foot, to a little chapel, in which were a.s.sembled divers other priests and dignitaries, whose raiment bore a strong resemblance to the venerable wardrobe of one of our bankrupt theatres. Here the general was welcomed by the priest, in return for which he delivered them the speech prepared for him by his secretary. But not one word of the Latin that gentleman had so liberally thrown in, could the priests understand, though they were complete masters of the tongue.

As for the town itself, it was composed of detached huts, built of mud and sticks, and in keeping with the degraded condition of the poor natives, between whom and the priests and renegades, who affected to govern them, a strange confusion of understandings existed. In speaking of renegades, it may be well to mention that the town seemed to swarm with flaxen-headed children, some toddling about in their bare buff, some basking in the sun, and others devouring plantains and pomegranates. Indeed, there were various proofs of an infusion of renegade blood, rarely met with in so remote a country. Further observation also discovered the fact, that even the dogs, and the pigs, and the cattle were a cross with other species of animals, and partook largely of the spirit of animosity that ruled between the priests and the renegades. In truth, no two could be found living in harmony. And strange as it may seem, the natives of Buzabub, although bountifully supplied with whiskey, powder and priests, were at the lowest point of civilization. And yet, heaven knows, these modern messengers of civilization had done much to sweep away the primitive virtues of the poor Kaloramas.

When the ceremony of presentation was over, and such hospitalities as the town afforded proffered the general and his secretary, they were made comfortable at the house of a priest, for three days must elapse before the kings's permission to proceed to Nezub, which was some ten leagues inland, would arrive; and no amba.s.sador ever dared to advance without it. The general was also informed that it was customary for all great amba.s.sadors to travel in a sort of palanquin, borne by four stalwarth natives, who were relieved every two miles. And this journey, he was gravely a.s.sured, would occupy not less than eight days; but as the train would be accompanied by a priest and two renegades (the latter acting as interpreters), the time would pa.s.s pleasantly enough. "Odds me!" exclaimed the general; "but this riding in such a machine, Mr. Priest, does not comport with my notion of dignity." "Your excellence," replied the priest, "must remember that there are various opinions as to what const.i.tutes true dignity. For myself, I hold to Saint Peter's notion, that a man may maintain his dignity, though clothed in sackcloth. And since no really great amba.s.sador ever thought of travelling in any other manner, I think you may venture to follow their example, without fear of damaging your dignity." This so completely reconciled the general, that he declared all his objections removed, and enjoined the priest not to think him a whit behind any amba.s.sador he might have in his eye. But Mr. Tickler was seriously discomfitted. "Pray," said he, with an air of great anxiety, "will your reverence be good enough to say how I am to accompany his excellency, for I am a poor critic, and know but little of these affairs."

"Secretaries," rejoined the priest, "follow their masters, mounted on a mule, and he in turn is followed by two renegades, similarly mounted; the priest following, mounted on an a.s.s. And this is strictly in accordance with an ancient custom, for the priest being necessary to the strict morality of the train, it is becoming that he should humble himself." Mr. Tickler shook his head, and was evidently much disappointed at the shabby position he was to occupy in the train. Indeed, he wished himself back in New York a dozen times, and swore he would consider it a kindness if the devil had his secretarys.h.i.+p. Encouraged, however, with extravagant promises of what the future might have in store for him, he betook himself diligently in writing long and very eulogistic articles to the New York newspapers, in which he described the great deference paid them by the officers during the voyage, the wonderful reception at Buzabub, the great resources of the country, and the immense advantages that must resnlt from this mission. Nor did Tickler forget to mention that General Roger Potter was exactly the man to effect all our objects. Three whole days did the cunning critic occupy in the preparation of these marvellous accounts; which were so well larded with Latin quotations that the writers for "Putnam"

went into ecstacies of delight over their great literary merits.

During this time the general became a lion of no small dimensions, and whether mounted on old Battle, or afoot, was so great an object of attraction that a swarm of urchins, from the smallest toddler in his buff to the more mature imp of fourteen, persisted in following close at his heels, presenting him with pomegranates and plantains, and, indeed, offering him such salutations as their instincts directed; for they fancied him the great school-master they had been told would one day come from the East to teach them how to be great men.

While all these things, then, were progressing, and the general seemed leaping to the apex of his fame, the officers of the s.h.i.+p, not content with the joke they had already perpetrated, resolved on having such a parting with him as would be both amusing and instructive. They therefore invited him to a grand banquet, which they represented as given out of sheer respect to his rare qualities as a diplomatist. And as he held all these ovations as so many jewels in the coronet of his popularity, the invitation was readily accepted. In truth, he flattered himself that news of this grand banquet would get to the ears of the king, who, seeing how much he was esteemed by his own countrymen, could not fail to make him any concession he might demand. He thereupon commanded his secretary to make him a speech of great strength and beauty, that he might astonish them quite as much with the profoundness of his learning as with the clearness of his understanding. "Faith! I am ready to write your excellency speeches by the dozen, with the quality to your mind; but as you never stick to one of them, I would suggest that if you but condescend to advance me a trifle of my salary, I can employ the time much more to my liking; for several comely damsels, with rich olive complexions, have already sang to me, and, as your excellency knows, I am a critic of tender parts."

"I see your drift, friend Tickler. But keep the devil from your elbow and you will soon forget the songs of these damsels. If they throw a sly wink or two, turn your back and walk away. Do this, and I will answer for your virtue. As to the speeches, no man could have made them more to my mind; and it was merely to show you the breadth of my own capacity that I did not stick to them."

"Yes, and there's the Latin! Though I crammed in my whole book of quotations, you would so hack it up in the delivery that neither the priests nor the devil could understand a word of it," curtly retorted Mr. Tickler.

When night came, they all prepared for the banquet, which, although not so sumptuous as those given in New York to great officials, was by no means a meagre affair, since it included a variety of dishes held as great delicacies by the Kaloramas. As to wines, the officers had an ample supply brought from the s.h.i.+p. All stronger beverages were got of the host of the inn in which the banquet was to come off, a fellow calling himself Fareni Faschi, but whose real name was Philip Fitzpatrick, a renegade who had committed crimes enough in New York, which place he trusted to his heels and left, in order to save his neck. Not to keep the reader longer in suspense, I will here inform him, whether gentle or simple, that no such banquet had ever before been given in Buzabub, and that General Potter took his seat on the right of the chairman, (who was no less a person than the commander!) amidst the sounding of trumpets and the jingling of symbol-bells. And so scrupulous was he of his uniform, that an attendant placed before him-not a napkin-but a large tablecloth, which so added to the humorous aspect of his face that even the priests present could not resist a smile. All now proceeded as jubilant as a marriage in Canon. The general gorged himself as never minister gorged himself before. Even Mr. Tickler, who sat at his right, looked with astonishment at the skill and alacrity with which his master demolished the various dishes set before him. As to the punches, highly-spiced cordials, and wines, he mixed them indiscriminately, and drank them with such a rapidity that Tickler became alarmed for the safety of his understanding. Indeed, it was so evident that his intellect was becoming deranged that the officers ordered the courses hurried as much as possible, for they were anxious to be rid of the priests, before whom they would not for the world have their country's great representative do aught damaging to his reputation. When, then, the attendants came to remove the cloth, the general looked up with astonishment, and addressed one of them thus: "I would not have you stop for me, gentlemen waiters, for I am a slow and dainty eater, and would like another turn at that well-seasoned pie." Tickler, who had been no way dainty about the number of gla.s.ses he quietly quaffed, touched his master significantly on the elbow. "Your excellency has need to look well to his manners," said he, "for those priests have their eyes polished, and are whispering no good."

"That dish of which your excellency has eaten with so much relish,"