Poise: How to Attain It Part 19

It is hardly necessary for us to restate here that there must be no harmful influence in all this, no abuse of power.

Distinction is only efficacious and only possesses its proper force when it is the outcome of the qualities we have been endeavoring to inculcate in this book.

False distinction, that which is based upon effrontery, is like those mirages of the desert whose appearance troubles the traveler.

At first he rejoices at seeing before him a countryside that seems like his hoped-for goal, but as he presses forward the picture fades away little by little and he perceives that he has been the victim of an empty dream. This is invariably what happens when what appears to be distinction is founded merely upon bravado and bluff.

The credulous, who are at first deceived by the illusion, very soon arrive at the point where they perceive their error, and, with the dissipation of the mirage, comes the contempt of the person who has thus made them take him seriously. They do not find it an easy matter to forgive him for having made dupes of them and their anger increases with the hurt to their wounded pride.

Those people, on the other hand, who possess that distinction that comes from the qualities inherent in poise, are sure of being able to preserve it untarnished, because their influence will never be enfeebled by disappointments they may cause in others.

If they are ever conquered for a moment, it is never because of weakness or lack of character.

Their defeat can never in any case be considered as decisive. Their energy will cause them to face the battle anew, armed by the very defeats of the past, and rendered invincible by their cool determination.

The mere habit of fighting tempers their souls and makes them strong, while the recollection of past reverses makes them more wary and more keen to take advantage of the lessons to be learned from events.

Thus they will not be slow in exacting that revenge from fate which will renew the confidence of all their friends.

They are a power, and under this t.i.tle they receive the homage of all.

Their existence is held to be a vital thing by all those who would stay their own weaknesses upon their strength.

Their a.s.sistance may not always be effective, but it has the air of being so, and those who are afraid of failure are always anxious to have near at hand a force upon which they can rely to keep them from defeat.

Every one who has helped to teach a child to walk has noticed that when its mother remains beside it and holds it up by the imaginary support of her hand, it steps out with confidence.

If she should go several paces ahead, the child, left to itself, and overcome by the fear caused by the withdrawal of her protection, which he really does not need, hesitates, stumbles, and presently falls down.

Men who are endowed with poise are not only appreciated by the weak of spirit, they are also esteemed and valued by those who possess qualities similar to their own. Such people are glad to meet a fort.i.tude that approximates to theirs.

They are infinitely better fitted than others to escape the pitfalls with which the journey of life is strewn. If, in spite of everything, misfortune should attack them, they will meet it so bravely and will combat it with weapons of such unusual temper that it will hasten to beat a retreat in order to knock at the door of some timid soul, who will yield to it without a struggle and will allow it to take possession of him without a murmur.