The Etiquette of To-day Part 12
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_Mrs. Everetts S. Sinclair requests the pleasure of your company at Luncheon on Tuesday, February nineteenth at one o'clock Hotel Willard_
The dinner invitation is identical, except that for "Luncheon" is subst.i.tuted "Dinner," and the hour is usually half after seven or eight o'clock. To this, or to any other dining invitation, may be added in the lower left-hand corner the words "Please reply," or, "The favor of a reply is requested."
The party invitation may take either of the two following forms:
_Mrs. Harold Harmon Williams requests the pleasure of your company at a dancing party to be given at the Glendale Country Club Wednesday evening, December the twenty-ninth from eight until eleven o'clock_
_Mr. and Mrs. Samuel Fairfield Watson request the pleasure of_
_company at The Somerset Club on the evening of Friday the ninth of February from nine until one o'clock Dancing and Bridge 95 Jackson Boulevard_
The blank invitation is very convenient, as it may be sent out at short notice, and is definite and personal. The following is a form which lends itself to any one of the usual kinds of home entertainment:
_Mr. and Mrs. St. John Ambrose Lockwood request the pleasure of_
_company at_............................
_on_............................
_at_................................
_97 Was.h.i.+ngton Avenue_
When, on an engraved invitation of any sort, be it wedding or dinner or any other, a blank line or lines are left for the insertion of the name of the guest, there is danger that, unless this is done with great care and by an able penman, the beauty of the invitation be ruined, and therefore its cost thrown away. For that reason a wholly engraved invitation is perhaps better, unless the work of addressing them and inserting the name is to be done by a professional penman. Of course, when this is done and well done, there is a personal touch, a suggestion of individual welcome, which can be gained in no other way, and which the wholly engraved invitation lacks.
When an entertainment is given by a family at some place other than their home, the invitations have the name of the place and the street address put in at the usual place on the invitation, and then in the lower right-hand corner the words "Please reply," with the home address.
A bachelor or widower uses his name alone at the top of the invitation. He will, of course, provide a chaperon, who in many respects takes the place of a hostess and so acts, but her name does not appear upon his invitation, unless she be his sister or near relative. The invitation then becomes a joint one, after the usual form.
A widower with daughters may send out invitations headed in either of the following forms:
_Mr. John Marquand_ _Miss Marquand_ _Miss Estelle Marquand_
or
_Mr. John Marquand_ _The Misses Marquand_
For a dinner followed by a dance there are two invitations, the one a dinner invitation at an early hour for the favored few, the other a dancing party invitation at a later hour.
Clubs have blanks which may be filled in by their members when they wish to entertain. These are issued in the club name, and are like any other private invitation, except that at the bottom and to the left "Compliments of" is engraved, and the name of the member who is special host is written in.
Invitations containing the words "_Bal Poudre_" signify that the entertainment is a masquerade or fancy dress party, and the guests are expected to come in fancy costume with powdered hair.
The word "ball" is used of an elaborate formal dance, usually a public one given by some club or for charity, and rarely of a private dance.
In spite of the predominance of the engraved invitation for the most formal affairs, still small dinners, and even receptions and dancing parties, are sometimes announced by the handwritten invitations. The form should be the same as the engraved one, although to very intimate friends it should be changed to a friendly note.
Acceptances are in the form of the invitation. If that is an informal note, the acceptance or regret is sent in the same style. If the invitation is formal, the reply also should be written in the third person and be about as follows:
_Mr. and Mrs. Allston B. Sinclair accept with pleasure the kind invitation of Mr. and Mrs. Arthur Emanuel Farrington for dinner on Thursday, the ninth of December at half after eight o'clock_
The reply to an invitation should be sent to the person or persons who issued it, never to any other member of the family, although such a one may be better known.
To write the word "Regrets" on one's visiting card and send it in declination of any invitation is bad form, even if the invitation come in similar shape. One should always write a note of regret.
Bachelors and widowers, who entertain at their apartments or studio or club, and army and navy officers never use the words "At Home," but always "request the pleasure (or honour) of your presence."
If one is entertaining a guest and an invitation is received, one may with propriety ask the hostess for an invitation for one's guest, if the form of entertainment is so general as to make this right and reasonable; otherwise one must decline the invitation. It would not be right to ask for another dinner invitation, or one to a select group of people, where the guest would be an intruder.
It is preferable and a much later form to use the words "Please reply," or "An early reply is requested," rather than the abbreviation "_R. s. v. p._" for "_Repondez, s'il vous plait_," meaning "Reply, if you please."
If a son should return from college or other absence, and the parents wish to entertain for him, their invitations would have at the bottom the word "For" followed by his name.
In sending out invitations, one should be sent to the father and mother jointly, one to each son separately, and one to the daughters jointly, the latter being addressed "The Misses Estabrook."
Invitations should be sent to people in mourning, although they are not expected to accept. They should not be slighted or forgotten during such a period.
_Wedding Invitations and Announcements_
The following are the usual forms of wording for the wedding invitation:
_Mr. and Mrs. Reinhard Ernst Ormond_ _request the honour of your presence_ _at the marriage of their daughter_ _Eida_ _to_ _Dr. Otto Bertelli_ _on Wednesday, the first of April_ _nineteen hundred and thirteen_ _at twelve o'clock_ _Church of the Messiah_ _St. Louis, Missouri_
_Mr. Arnold Hamilton Forsyth_ _requests the pleasure of your company_ _at the marriage reception of his daughter_ _Margaret_ _and_ _Mr. Walter Mallory_ _on the evening of Wednesday, the twenty-ninth_ _of June_ _one thousand nine hundred and twelve_ _from eight until ten o'clock_ _17 Elm Hill Avenue_ _Philadelphia, Pennsylvania_ _R. s. v. p._
_Dr. and Mrs. Maurice Howe Cavanaugh_ _request the honour of_
_presence at the marriage of their daughter_ _Rebecca Falmouth_ _to_ _Mr. Charles Hunnewell Clark_ _on Monday, the ninth of July_ _at eight o'clock_ _Church of the Redeemer_ _Was.h.i.+ngton_
The usual form of marriage announcement is as follows:
_Mr. and Mrs. William T. Kimball_ _announce the marriage of their daughter_ _Dorothy Lucinda_ _to_ _Mr. LeRoy L. Hallock_ _on Wednesday, the first day of December_ _one thousand nine hundred and twelve_ _Chicago, Illinois_
_Mr. Arthur Edmand Sawyer_ _and_ _Miss Emma Pauline Farrington_ _announce their marriage_ _on Sunday the sixteenth of July_ _one thousand nine hundred and ten_ _at Boston, Ma.s.sachusetts_
The "At Home" card of the bridal couple, which goes with a wedding invitation, does not have the name of the couple upon it, but reads simply
_At Home_ _after the first of November_ _1219 Pennsylvania Avenue_ _Was.h.i.+ngton_
When an "At Home" card is included in a wedding _announcement_, however, the name of the couple appears upon it, as follows:
The Etiquette of To-day Part 12
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The Etiquette of To-day Part 12 summary
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