Why Marry? Part 26

HELEN

That's just what _I_ said!

[_All turn and behold HELEN._

ERNEST

My heavens!

[_He steps back like a coward._

HELEN

But I agree with you perfectly. [_She holds out her hand to him._] I was so afraid you believed in marriage.

[_He rushes to her eagerly._

JUDGE

[_as the lovers shake hands_]

You wronged him. Apologize.

ERNEST

Why--why--all this time, I thought _you_ had the usual att.i.tude.

JUDGE

Wronged _her_. Both apologize.

HELEN

Why didn't you ever tell me you had such enlightened views?

ERNEST

Why didn't you ever tell me?

JUDGE

Each understands the other now. Everything lovely!

HELEN

Think of the discussions we might have had!

JUDGE

Not too late yet. Julia and I had discussions for a quarter of a century.

HELEN

Don't think I had any hand in this. [_Laughs._] I was going to warn you, but now--it is unnecessary now.

ERNEST

Warn me? What do you mean?

HELEN

Can't you see? It was all a plot! [_LUCY draws near noiselessly._] A plot to entrap you in marriage! They had about given me up as a bad job. _You_ were my last hope. They were going to throw me at your head.

[_Louder but without turning._] Weren't you, Lucy dear?

LUCY

[_caught listening, turns abruptly to the others_]

These New Women are utterly shameless.

HELEN

[_to ERNEST_]

These old-fas.h.i.+oned women are utterly shameless. After a decent interval, they will all with one accord make excuses to leave us here alone, so that I can--[_she comes nearer_] ensnare you! [_ERNEST laughs nervously._] Lucy is going to say--[_imitates LUCY'S sweet tones_]: "If you'll excuse me, I always take forty winks before dressing." Dressing is the hardest work Lucy has to do. Cousin Theodore will find that he _must_ write to his wife, and Uncle Everett will feel a yearning for the billiard room. [_ERNEST is nodding and chuckling._] They're hanging on longer than usual to-day, and I simply must have a talk with you.

ERNEST

Our shop-talk would scandalize 'em!