Why Marry? Part 28

JUDGE

But I'm fascinated. It's so idyllic. Makes me feel young again.

HELEN

[_to ERNEST_]

Oh, you have plenty of men a.s.sistants who can estimate ant.i.toxin units.

ERNEST

Men a.s.sistants lose interest. They are all so confoundedly ambitious to do original work. Why is it women can stand day after day of monotonous detail better than men?

HELEN

Because men always made them tend the home!

JUDGE

Ah, nothing like a good old-fas.h.i.+oned love scene--in the scientific spirit.

HELEN

Uncle, dear! _Can't_ you see that he is paying me wonderful compliments?

Haven't you any tact? Go and play Canfield in the library.

JUDGE

[_lighting cigar_]

Very well, I'll leave you to your own devices--and may G.o.d, _your_ G.o.d, have mercy on your scientific souls.

HELEN

[_with sudden animation and camaraderie, thinking they are alone_]

Now I must tell you what Doctor Metchnikoff said about you and your future!

JUDGE

Sst! [_HELEN and ERNEST turn._] My children--[_Pause--raises his hand._] Don't forget the scientific spirit!

[_The JUDGE saunters off into the garden, smoking._

ERNEST

How did you ever meet Metchnikoff?

HELEN

[_chaffing_]

I had worked under Hamilton! They _all_ wanted to meet me.

ERNEST

[_with an unmistakable look_]

U'm ... was that why? [_Fleeing danger._] Didn't you let them know your part in that discovery? Why, if it hadn't been for you, I should never have stumbled upon the thing at all.

HELEN

Oh, I know my place too well for that! Talk about _artistic_ temperament, you scientists are worse than prima donnas.

ERNEST

[_takes printers' proofs out of pocket, hands them to her in silence_]

Some proofs of a monograph I was correcting on the train. Mind hammering those loose sentences of mine into decent English? You can write--I can't.

HELEN

[_reading innocently_]

"Recent Experiments in Anterior Poliomyelitis by Ernest Hamilton, M.D., Ph.D., and Helen"--what! why, you've put _my_ name with yours!

[_Much excited and delighted._

ERNEST

Well, if you object--like a prima donna----