A Gamble with Life Part 16

"Why not?"

"Oh, for fifty reasons."

"Please give me one."

"I would rather not."

"But I insist upon it."

"And if I still refuse?"

"I shall stay here till you do answer."

"Oh, that will be delightful," he answered, laughing. "How quickly the days will pa.s.s."

"Oh, Mr. Sterne, I did not know you could be so provoking," she said, with a little pout.

"Do you really want a reason?" he said, looking gravely into her eyes.

"Really and truly."

"Well, then, my invention will affect only the toilers--the poor people if you like. Its success or failure will not matter one whit to Sir Charles Tregony, for instance, and you belong to the same circle, do you not?"

"But its success or failure will matter to you, won't it?"

"It will matter everything to me."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Just what I say. Everything means everything. I've staked my all."

"Oh, no, you have not," she said, brightly. "You may have staked your fortune, and your reputation as an inventor, and your immediate prospects. But life is left."

He caught his breath sharply. "But what is life worth when all you have lived for is swept away?"

"And have you nothing else to live for?" she questioned, seriously.

"Nothing! I'm a lonely soul in a lonely world."

"But there is still life," she persisted. "And no great soul gives up at one failure or at ten."

He felt the hot blood rush to his face and he averted his eyes instinctively. He did his best to recover himself before she should notice, but her keen eyes were quick to see the look of pain and distress that swept over his face.

"Now I have said something foolish--something that has hurt you----" she began.

"My leg hurts me occasionally," he answered, with a poor attempt at a smile.

"I have been very thoughtless," she said, rising suddenly to her feet.

"I did not think how I must be tiring you."

"But you have not tired me at all," he persisted. "You have done me good. You cannot think how intolerably irksome it is lying here helpless day after----" then he checked himself suddenly. It was his turn now to see a look of distress come into her eyes.

"And it is all my fault," she interrupted. "Oh, if I could only atone in some measure."

"You have atoned, if atonement were needed, by coming to see me. Will you not come again?"

"May I? Really and truly it would do me good if I could serve you in some way. I might read to you if you would let me, or write your letters."

He felt himself shaken as if with a tempest. He knew, as if by instinct, that he had reached the most fateful--perhaps the most perilous--crisis in his life. He had only to say the word and this beautiful girl would come and sit by his side day after day, come out of pure goodness and grat.i.tude, never dreaming what her presence might mean to him.

He was only too painfully conscious that he was half in love with her already. She had touched his heart and imagination as no one had ever done before. From the time he caught that first glimpse of her face as she was driving from the station until now, she had been almost constantly in his thoughts. It was as though the fates--malicious as usual--had conspired to throw them together, for if he learned to love her, only misery and heart-ache could be the result. She would think of him only as someone she ought to be kind to. She was out of his circle.

Whoever, or whatever she might have been in America, here she was the ward of Sir Charles Tregony, one of the proudest and most exclusive men in the county. Besides, for all he knew, she might be engaged already.

Beyond all, there was the fact that his life was at stake. If his project failed he was bound in honour to see that Felix Muller suffered no loss. The rights of the Life a.s.surance Company had not occurred to him even yet. There must be no human ties to make the struggle harder.

If the worst came to the worst--a possibility that would persist in haunting him--he must go unmourned and unmourning into the darkness.

The brain works quickly in times of excitement and emotion, and all these considerations pa.s.sed through his mind as in a flash. Should he tell this sweet-eyed girl that she must not come to see him again, and let her go away believing that he disapproved of her coming at all?

Better so. Better a few hours or days of sharp pain now than a life-long agony after.

"I must be brave," he said to himself. "The first lesson in life is self-conquest."

The form of words he decided to use shaped themselves quickly. The more explicit the better.

He turned his head toward her with resolutions full grown in his heart, and their eyes met again.

CHAPTER XI

A TALK BY THE WAY

Generally speaking, Rufus Sterne was not lacking in courage, either physical or moral. But no man knows his strength till he is tested. Many a man has pa.s.sed through tempest and flood, fire and sword, unscathed and undaunted, and in the end has gone down helplessly and ignominiously before a pair of soft brown eyes.

When Rufus turned his head he meant to say firmly but kindly that it would be better if they did not meet again. And then he would soothe the hurt--if hurt there should be--by telling her how grateful he was for her visit and how much he appreciated her kindness.

He was quite sure she would understand. She was not a child and her eyes were more than ordinarily sharp. If she chose to take offence, of course, he would be sorry; but better she should be offended than that he should break his heart.

He was bristling all over with courage when their eyes met, and then all his strength departed. Madeline had no thought of conquest. She only wanted to be kind. She felt infinitely pitiful toward this strong man who had been brought low through her, and her pity shone in her eyes and vibrated in every tone of her voice.

It was her artlessness, her sweet ingenuousness that broke Rufus down.

In addition to which she was so exquisitely beautiful, while the unfamiliar lilt and intonation of her voice were like music in his ears.

"It will be just heaven if you will come and read to me sometimes," he heard himself saying, and then he wondered whether he was awake or dreaming.

"Then I will come to-morrow. It will be perfectly lovely to do some little bit of good in the world."