A Gamble with Life Part 27
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That a man like Gervase wanted to marry her was, no doubt, very flattering. He was a great soldier, a man of immense courage, and a distinguished-looking man to boot. On the other hand, she was a n.o.body, her father had been an ordinary working man--that he had "got on" late in life she knew. But what his financial position was she would not know till she was twenty-one. So that looking at the matter merely from a social point of view, it was a great condescension on the part of Gervase.
But not only did Gervase want to marry her, but it had become extremely clear of late that Sir Charles was as eager as his son. In fact, events were being rushed. It was understood when she arrived in England that Gervase would not be home till the New Year. Now he was risking his neck in an eager rush to be here by Christmas. Why all this haste? Why was everybody so anxious she should marry the heir to a baronetcy, or, to put it the other way about, why were all the Tregonys so eager to marry the heir to an unknown American girl?
That American girls by the shoal had married t.i.tled Englishmen she knew, and t.i.tled foreigners of all sorts and conditions. But it was clear and obvious to outsiders generally that the attractions had been dollars on the one side and t.i.tles on the other--a fair exchange, no doubt. There had been a _quid pro quo_ in each case.
But in her case----!
Then she pulled herself up suddenly, and a hot blush mantled her cheeks.
Was she any better than the rest? Had not her girlish imagination been carried away by pictures of a baronial hall, ivy-grown and weather-beaten? and had not the thought of being "My Lady Tregony"
dominated nearly everything else?
"No," she said, at length, "I admired Gervase for his own sake. He is brave and distinguished-looking and--and--oh! I like a man who is strong and masterful."
But the other question still remained unanswered. Why did Gervase want to marry her? He belonged to one of the oldest families in the county.
Why did he not seek a wife in his own circle? Lord this and the Duke of that who went to America for their wives, married dollars. But----She stopped again, and looked round her, but no one was in sight. A keen north wind was blowing, and the pale wintry sun had not yet melted the h.o.a.r-frost from the gra.s.s, and yet she felt as hot as though she had been thrust suddenly into a Turkish bath.
Was it possible that dollars lay at the bottom of all this haste and anxiety? For some reason she had been kept in ignorance of her father's financial position. He had never talked to her about the matter. She was at school when he died, and remained at school long after he was laid in his grave. Why she had been kept at school so long was always something of a puzzle to her.
That she would have enough money to live upon comfortably she knew. She was allowed a thousand dollars a year now as pin-money--a sum much too large for her needs in St. Gaved, though in London she could easily spend it all. But that she was rich, or in any sense of the word an heiress, was an idea that had never occurred to her. It did not seem at all likely that she could be, or her allowance would be very much larger. On the other hand there might be method in the modest pittance that was meted out to her. To keep her in ignorance of the extent of her possessions might be part of the game. If she were rich and knew it she might be too ready to discover a reason why Gervase wanted to marry her.
"I wonder if suspicion always comes with knowledge and experience," she said to herself. "Is it one of the penalties of being grown up? When I was a girl I wasn't suspicious of anything or anybody. Now I'm certain of nothing, not even of myself."
She walked on more rapidly after awhile, but she took no notice of anything on the way. She was too absorbed with her own thoughts.
"I am glad, at any rate, I did not give Gervase a definite promise," she said to herself. "I hardly know why I didn't, for I meant to at first.
But it is best I should see him again before deciding. Best that I should find out everything I can. I think he wants me for my own sake.
I'm almost sure he does, but it's well to be quite sure."
"Well, anyhow, I shall see him again this evening," she said to herself, after a long pause. "I wonder if he has changed? I wonder if I have changed?"
She reached the outskirts of the village, then turned back, and in a moment or two came face to face with Sir Charles. The meeting was unexpected, and the Baronet looked a little confused.
"What, turning back so soon?" he questioned, nonchalantly.
"I only came out for a little exercise and fresh air," she answered.
"And you find the air too keen, eh?"
"Oh! not at all; I am enjoying it immensely."
So they pa.s.sed each other. But a little way on, Madeline paused and looked back, but Sir Charles was out of sight.
"Now, I wonder if he followed me on purpose?" she said to herself. "Has he begun to suspect me? Did he imagine I had gone to call on Mr. Sterne in defiance of his wishes? I wish I hadn't grown suspicious; it spoils everything."
She was so busy with her thoughts that she scarcely noticed the turn in the road leading back to the Hall. Also there was no particular reason why she should return at once. So she tramped on into the country. The roads were dry and frosty. The keen wind hummed in the bare hazel bushes that crowned the tall hedges, the too brief glimmer of suns.h.i.+ne was fading on the hillside.
Her thoughts alternated between the Squire, Gervase and Rufus Sterne. It seemed to her as though a big stone had been dropped into the still and placid pool of her life and that the troubled waters refused to settle again. It seemed but yesterday that the plan of her life lay before her like an open book. Everything was just as it ought to be and there was no hitch anywhere. Now the book was shut, the map was destroyed, and her future lay before her a treeless, trackless, mist-shrouded desert. What was the reason of it? Was Sir Charles to blame, or Gervase, or Rufus Sterne? Or should she take all the blame to herself?
She was disturbed in her meditations by the sound of a quick and firm step behind her. Her first impulse was to turn her head, but she resisted it. The steps drew nearer; the hard road echoed distinctly. She drew slowly to the side of the road, so that the pedestrian, whoever he might be, might pa.s.s her. It was time she turned round and retraced her steps to the Hall, but she would wait a few minutes longer, until the man had pa.s.sed her. Now he was almost by her side. She turned her head slightly and their eyes met. In a moment her face brightened, and her lips parted in an eager smile. He dropped a small bag he was carrying, so that he might grasp her outstretched hand. It was fate or destiny, and there was no use fighting against it.
"I have been wondering if I was ever to see you again," she said, in her bright, unconventional way. "You are quite well again, I see. Oh, I am so thankful! I would have called round, only--well, you see the conventions of this old country have to be observed even by an American."
"And you find them rather irksome?" he questioned, an eager light brightening his eyes.
"Well, on the whole I fear I do. But we have to take things as we find them, I suppose. Discipline, they say, is good for us."
"I believe that is a generally accepted doctrine," he said, with a laugh.
"But you doubt it?" she asked, looking coyly up into his face.
"I did not say so," he answered, jocularly. "Do you think I am such a doubter that I doubt everything?"
"Well, no," she answered, slowly. "I will not go quite so far as that. I guess there are still a few things you stick to."
"We all believe what we cannot help believing," he answered, enigmatically.
"Oh, what a profound utterance!" she said, laughing brightly in his face.
"It is rather profound, isn't it? But how have you enjoyed yourself in London?"
"Oh! moderately well. For the first two weeks or so we had rather a gay time, then things got flat, or I got flat. And then the weather, you know, was atrocious. Those London fogs are a treat!"
"So I've heard. I've had no experience of them."
"Well, you needn't be envious. But how about your invention? I've been looking for your name in the papers. When are you going to astonish us all?"
His face clouded in a moment and his eyes caught a far-away look. "It is never safe to prophesy," he said, after a pause.
"But you are still quite sure of success?" she questioned, a little anxiously.
He smiled a little bit sadly, and answered, "A friend of mine sometimes encourages me by telling me that there is nothing certain in this world but death."
"Your friend must be a pessimist," she said, "and I don't like pessimists. But tell me candidly, has your success been imperilled in any way by--by--your accident?"
"No, I do not think so," he answered, quickly. "My work has been delayed a little, that is all. If I fail, it will not be on that account."
"But you are not going to fail, of course you are not."
"I hope I shall not," he answered, seriously. "But in the chances of life there must be a great many failures. Think of the millions of toiling people in England to-day and how few of them have reached their hearts' desire."
"Yes, I suppose that is so," she answered, thoughtfully, "or perhaps the bulk of them have never had any large desires. But don't you think that most of the great men who have striven long enough have won in the end?"
"I was not thinking of the great men," he answered. "It is given only to a few men to be great, and of the rest, if they fail once, their chance is gone."
"And do you mean to tell me that if you don't succeed this time you won't try again?"
"If circ.u.mstances would let me, I would never cease trying," he answered. "But we are all of us more or less the slaves of circ.u.mstances, some more than others."
A Gamble with Life Part 27
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A Gamble with Life Part 27 summary
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