Five Plays Part 35

BILL

Well, I've got Old Nut-cracker. I had him in my hand at the time, and they let me keep him. They thought it would be a nice proof against me.

JIM

Nothing is any good here.

BILL

I'll get in to Heaven, Jim. And you shall come with me because you taught me a livelihood. I couldn't be happy there, like those angels, if I knew of anyone being outside. I'm not like that.

[_Jim goes on with his work._

BILL

Jim, Jim. You'll see Jane there.

JIM

You'll never get through those gates, Bill. You'll never do it.

BILL

They're only gold, Jim. Gold's soft like lead. Old Nut-cracker would do it if they were steel.

JIM

You'll never do it, Bill.

[_Bill puts a rock against the gates, stands on it to reach the lock and gets to work on the lock. A good instrument to use is an egg-whipper. Jim goes on wearily with his work. As Bill works away, fragments and golden screws begin to fall on the floor._

BILL

Jim! Old Nut-cracker thinks nothing of it. It's just like cheese to old Nut-cracker.

JIM

They won't let you do it, Bill.

BILL

They don't know what I've got. I'm getting through it like cheese, Jim.

JIM

Suppose it's a mile thick. Suppose it's a million miles thick. Suppose it's a hundred million miles thick.

BILL

Can't be, Jim. These doors are meant to open outward. They couldn't do that if they were more than four inches at the most, not for an Archbishop. They'd stick.

JIM

You remember that great safe we broke open once, what had coal in it.

BILL

This isn't a safe, Jim, this is Heaven. There'll be the old saints with their halos s.h.i.+ning and flickering, like windows o' wintry nights.

(_Creak, creak, creak_) And angels thick as swallows along a cottage roof the day before they go. (_Creak, creak, creak_) And orchards full of apples as far as you can see, and the rivers of Tigris and Euphrates, so the Bible says; and a city of gold, for those that care for cities, all full of precious stones; but I'm a bit tired of cities and precious stones. (_Creak, creak, creak_) I'll go out into the fields where the orchards are, by the Tigris and the Euphrates. I shouldn't be surprised if my old mother was there. She never cared much for the way I earned my livelihood (_creak, creak_), but she was a good mother to me. I don't know if they want a good mother in there who would be kind to the angels and sit and smile at them when they sang and soothe them if they were cross. If they let all the good ones in she'll be there all right. (_Suddenly_) Jim! They won't have brought me up against her, will they? That's not fair evidence, Jim.

JIM

It would be just like them to. Very like them.

BILL

If there's a gla.s.s of beer to be got in Heaven, or a dish of tripe and onions, or a pipe of 'bacca she'll have them for me when I come to her.

She used to know my ways wonderful; and what I liked. And she used to know when to expect me almost anywhere. I used to climb in through the window at any hour and she always knew it was me. (_Creak, creak_) She'll know it's me at the door now, Jim. (_Creak, creak_) It will be all a blaze of light, and I'll hardly know it's her till I get used to it.... But I'll know her among a million angels. There weren't none like her on Earth and there won't be none like her in Heaven.... Jim!

I'm through, Jim! One more turn, and old Nut-cracker's done it! It's giving! It's giving! I know the feel of it. _Jim!_

[_At last there is a noise of falling bolts; the gates swing out an inch and are stopped by the rock._

BILL

Jim! Jim! I've opened it, Jim. I've opened the Gate of Heaven! Come and help me.

JIM (_looks up for a moment with open mouth. Then he mournfully shakes his head and goes on drawing a cork_)

Another one empty.

BILL (_looks down once into the abyss that lies below the Lonely Place_)

Stars. Blooming great stars.

[_Then he moves away the rock on which he stood. The gates move slowly. Jim leaps up and runs to help; they each take a gate and move backward with their faces against it._

BILL

Hullo, mother! You there? Hullo! You there? It's Bill, mother.

[_The gates swing heavily open, revealing empty night and stars._

BILL (_staggering and gazing into the revealed Nothing, in which far stars go wandering_)

Stars. Blooming great stars. There _ain't_ no Heaven, Jim.

[_Ever since the revelation a cruel and violent laugh has arisen off.

It increases in volume and grows louder and louder._