Castellinaria, and Other Sicilian Diversions Part 7

CARM: Signor Enrico, Signor Enrico, what is the English for Buona notte?

MYSELF: Buona notte in English is Good night.

ALESS:--and Paris is being besieged by four Turkish emperors, namely, Rodoferro di Siberia, Balestrazzo di Turgovia, Leofine di Cina and Bracilone d'Africa, and they have two hundred thousand men--

GILDO: Now me, please. Teach me to speak English. What did you say is the English for Grazie?

MYSELF: Thank you.

GILDO: And Buona notte?

MYSELF: Good night.

GILDO (_tentatively_): Thank you. Good night.

MYSELF: Bravo, very good.

CARO: What does that mean?

MYSELF: Very good means--

PAPA:--and this professor of ours told us that in consequence of certain natural--do I explain myself?--of certain natural causes, it is rare for a human being to live more than one hundred years. It is therefore unlikely that--

ALESS:--and Paris is being besieged by--

MYSELF: Yes, I know, Buffo, by four Turkish emperors and they have two hundred thousand men. I should think it must be rather a serious situation. But I want to hear about Ettorina.

ALESS: It is a very serious situation, but do not be alarmed because--

PAPA:--it is therefore unlikely that Gildo will ever reach the age of one hundred and seventy-four. Do I explain myself?

CARO: Signor Enrico, Come sta? what does it mean?

MYSELF: It means How do you do?

CARO (_trying her hand_): How do you do?

MYSELF: Brava. Very good.

(_Nina did not ask to be taught English_._ She was following the conversation with sympathetic ill.u.s.trative gestures not caring two straws whether anyone observed her_, _just as she did not care whether anyone observed that she was breathing_; _and_, _just as she could not stop breathing_, _so she appeared unable to stop her gestures_._ She was as incessant and as resourceful as the orchestra in_ Hansel and Gretel.)

CARM: Signor Enrico, Signor Enrico, Io t'amo.

MYSELF: Oh! but this is so sudden.

ALESS:--do not be alarmed, because--

CARM: What does it mean in English?

MYSELF: Oh, I beg your pardon. It means--

ALESS:--do not be alarmed, for it is the will of heaven that--

PAPA: I may even go further and say it is unlikely that Gildo--

CARO: Signor Enrico, do you know what Carmela is doing?

MYSELF: She is making lace on a pillow, no doubt for her wedding trousseau.

CARM (_demurely_): Not for my wedding. No one will ever want to marry me.

MYSELF: Oh, come now, you don't expect me to believe that?

ALESS:--it is the will of heaven that they shall all escape--

MYSELF: Well, if this is not for you, perhaps it is for Carolina's wedding?

ALESS:--that they shall all escape to Montalbano--

CARO (_demurely_): Not for my wedding. I shall never marry. I shall stay at home and look after my dear papa and my dear brothers.

NINA (_recklessly_): That's all very pretty, but I'm going to get married. (_She was sitting on the edge of the table swinging her legs_.)

ALESS:--that they shall all escape to Montalbano through the subterranean road which the devils--

MYSELF: Why don't you tell me about Ettorina? Come to Ettorina.

ALESS: One moment, if you please--which the devils will make on Wednesday evening--

CARM: You have not yet told me what it is in English.

MYSELF: What what is in English?

CARM: Io t'amo.

(_By the time I had given the information Papa_, _who had been proposing my health in a speech of which I caught little except an occasional_ Do I explain myself? _had begun perorating towards a close and was about to crown his remarks with a brindisi in verse_.)

PAPA: Questa tavola--

GILDO (_taking the words out of his mouth_):

--oggi e a.s.sai piu bella.

Enrico! Bevo alla salute di tua sorella. {60}

ALESS:--which the devils will make on Wednesday evening by command of Argantino the--

PAPA (_beginning again_):