Fanny and the Servant Problem Part 6

JANE [in the tones of a patient executioner]. Are you ready?

f.a.n.n.y. Quite ready, dear. Of course--I don't know what you will think of them--but I've only brought modern costumes with me.

JANE [not a lady who understands satire]. We must do the best we can. [She marches out--into the dressing-room.]

f.a.n.n.y, after following a few steps, stops and thinks. Ernest has entered with the wood. He is piling it in the basket by the fire.

His entrance decides her. She glances through the open door of the dressing-room, then flies across to the desk, seats herself, and begins feverishly to write a telegram.

f.a.n.n.y. Ernie! [He comes across to her.] Have you still got your bicycle?

ERNEST. Yes.

f.a.n.n.y. Could you get this telegram off for me before eight o'clock?

I don't want it sent from the village; I want you to take it YOURSELF--into the town. There's a sovereign for you if you do it all right.

ERNEST. I'll do it. Can only get into a row.

f.a.n.n.y. Pretty used to them, ain't you? [She has risen. She gives him the telegram. She has stamped it.] Can you read it?

ERNEST. "George P. Newte."

f.a.n.n.y. Hus.h.!.+

They both glance at the open door.

ERNEST [he continues in a lower voice]. "72A, Waterloo Bridge Road, London. Must see you at once. Am at the new shop." [He looks up.]

f.a.n.n.y. That's all right.

ERNEST. "Come down. Q.T. f.a.n.n.y."

f.a.n.n.y [nods]. Get off quietly. I'll see you again -

THE VOICE OF JANE [from the dressing-room]. Are you going to keep me waiting all night?

[They start. Ernest hastily thrusts the telegram into his breast- pocket.]

f.a.n.n.y. Coming, dear, coming. [To Ernest] Not a word to anyone!

[She hurries him out and closes door behind him.] Merely been putting the room a bit tidy. [She is flying round collecting her outdoor garments.] Thought it would please you. So sorry if I've kept you waiting. [Jane has appeared at door.] After you, dear.

Jane goes out again. f.a.n.n.y, with her pile of luggage, follows.

[CURTAIN]

ACT II

SCENE

The same.

Time.--The next morning.

The door opens. Dr. Freemantle enters, shown in by Bennet, who follows him.

DR. FREEMANTLE [talking as he enters]. Wonderful! Wonderful! I don't really think I ever remember so fine a spring.

BENNET [he is making up the fire]. I'm afraid we shall have to pay for it later on.

DR. FREEMANTLE. I expect so. Law of the universe, you know, Bennet- -law of the universe. Everything in this world has got to be paid for.

BENNET. Except trouble. [The doctor laughs.] The Times? [He hands it to him.]

DR. FREEMANTLE. Thanks. Thanks. [Seats himself.] Won't be long-- his lords.h.i.+p, will he?

BENNET. I don't think so. I told him you would be here about eleven.

DR. FREEMANTLE. Um--what do you think of her?

BENNET. Of--of her ladys.h.i.+p?

DR. FREEMANTLE. What's she like?

BENNET. [They have sunk their voices.] Well, it might have been worse.

DR. FREEMANTLE. Ah! There's always that consolation, isn't there?

BENNET. I think her ladys.h.i.+p--with MANAGEMENT--may turn out very satisfactory.

DR. FREEMANTLE. You like her?

BENNET. At present, I must say for her, she appears willing to be taught.

DR. FREEMANTLE. And you think it will last?

BENNET. I think her ladys.h.i.+p appreciates the peculiarity of her position. I will tell the Miss Wetherells you are here.

DR. FREEMANTLE. Ah, thanks!

BENNET. I fancy her ladys.h.i.+p will not herself be visible much before lunch time. I understand she woke this morning with a headache. [He goes out.]

The Doctor reads a moment. Then the door of the dressing-room opens, and f.a.n.n.y enters. Her dress is a wonderful contrast to her costume of last evening. It might be that of a poor and demure nursery governess. Her hair is dressed in keeping. She hardly seems the same woman.

f.a.n.n.y [seeing the Doctor, she pauses]. Oh!