The Tithe-Proctor Part 2

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"We all know the ould proverb," said another individual; "set a beggar on horseback, an' he'll ride to the devil. Whist! here they come."

As the last person concluded, Purcel and the female portion of his family drew up under the shadow of the tree already alluded to, which here overhung the road, so that he came right in contact with the crowd.

"Ah, boys," said he, with his characteristic good-humor, "how are you all? Darby Hourigan, how are your family? Isn't this glorious weather, boys?"

"Blessed weather, sir," replied Hourigan, who became in some degree spokesman. "I hope your honor an' the mistress, sir, an' the young ladies is all well."

"My honor, as you are pleased to call me, was never better in my life; as for the mistress and the young ladies there they are, so judge for yourself, Darby: but Darby my good friend, you have a d--d sneaking, slavish way with you. Why do you call me 'your honor' when you know--for I've often told you--that wouldn't bear it? Am I not one of yourselves?

and don't most of you know that I began the world upon half-a-crown, and once carried a hardware basket on my arm?--d--n it, then, speak like a man to a man, and not like a slave, as I'm half inclined to think you are."

"Throth, sir," replied Hourigan, with an indescribable laugh, "an' for all that you say, there's many that gets the t.i.tle of 'your honor,' that doesn't desarve it _as well_."

"Ah well, man! Why, there's many a man gets it that doesn't desarve it _at all_, which is saying more than you said--ha! ha! ha!"

Whilst this little dialogue took place, our worthy Buck had abandoned his place under the ikee, and flown to the car to a.s.sist the ladies off--a piece of attention not un.o.bserved by Purcel, who obliquely kept his eye upon that worthy's gallantry, and the reception it was getting from the parties to whom it was offered.

"Leedies," said the Buck, in his politest manner and language, "will you allow me the gallantry to help you off? Mrs. Purcel, I hope you're well.

Here, ma'am, aveel yourself of me."

"Thank you, Mr. English; I'm much obliged," she returned, rather coolly.

"Leedies," he proceeded, flying to the other side, "allow me the gallantry."

The two young women, who were full of spirits and good humor, were laughing most heartily, _sub silentio_, at the attention thus so ceremoniously paid to their mother by a man whom, beyond all human beings, she detested. Now, however, that he came to proffer his "gallantry" to themselves, they were certainly rather hard pressed to maintain or rather regain their gravity.

"Leedies," the Buck continued, "may I have the gallantry to help you off?"

"Oh, thank you, it's too much trouble, Mr. English."

"None on airth, Miss Purcel--do let me have the high-flown satisfaction."

"Oh, well," she replied, "since you will be so polite," and giving him her hand she was about to go down, when suddenly withdrawing it, as if recollecting herself, she said, nodding with comic significance toward her sister Julia--"My sister, Mr. English, have you no gallantry for her?"

"Ah," he whispered, at the same time gratefully squeezing her hand, "you're a first-rate divinity--a tip-top G.o.ddess--divil a thing else.

Miss Joolia, may I presoome for to have the plisure and polite gallantry to help you off the car; 'pon honor it'll be quite grateful and prejudicial to my feelings--it will, I a.s.soore you!"

"Bless me, whose is that wedding party, Mr. English?" asked Miss Julia, pointing to the opposite direction of the road.

English instantly turned round to observe, when, by a simultaneous act, both sisters stepped nimbly from the car. Miss Julia, as if offended, but at the same time with a comic gravity of expression, exclaimed--

"Oh, fie! Mr. English, is that your boasted gallantry? I'm afraid your eight years' residence in England, however it may have improved the elegance of your language and accent, hasn't much improved your politeness!"

So saying, she and her sister tripped off to the chapel, which they immediately entered. Much about the same time their brothers arrived, mounted, certainly, upon a pair of magnificent hunters, and having handed them over to two lads to be walked about until the conclusion of Ma.s.s, they also entered the chapel, for the priest was not now more than three or four hundred yards; distant.

The jest practised so successfully upon our friend the Buck occasioned a general laugh at his expense, a circ.u.mstance which filled, him with serious mortification, if not with actual resentment, for it so happened, that one of his great foibles was such a morbid sensibility to ridicule as was absolutely ludicrous.

"Bedad, Mr. English, you wor fairly done there; in spite o' the tall English, you're no match for the ladies. Miss Julia fairly gev' you the bag to hould."

The Buck's eye glittered with bitterness.

"Miss Julia, do you say?" he replied; "why, my good friend, the girl was christened Judy--plain Judy; but now that they've got into high-flown life, you persave, nothing will sarve them but to ape their betthers.

However, never mind, I'll see the day yet, and that before long, when saucy Judy won't refuse my a.s.sistance. Time about's fair play, you know."

It may be observed here, that Buck English happened to forget himself, which he almost always did whenever he became in earnest: he also forgot his polite language and peculiar elegance of p.r.o.nunciation. To a vain and weak mind there is nothing more cutting than the consciousness of looking mortified in the eyes of others, and under these circ.u.mstances to feel that the laugh is against you, adds one not important item to "the miseries of human life."

The Buck, now that the priest was at the chapel door, walked, with a stride that very much resembled the mock-heroic, towards the place of wors.h.i.+p; but, in the opinion of the shrewd spectators, his dignity was sadly tarnished by the humorous contempt implied in the practical jest that had been so adroitly played off at his expense.

CHAPTER II.--The Proctor's Principles and His Family.

For a considerable time previous to the scene described in our last chapter, a principle of general resistance to t.i.thes had been deepening in and spreading over the country. Indeed the opposition to them had, for at least half a century before, risen up in periodical ebullitions that were characterized by much outrage and cruelty. On this account, then, it was generally necessary that the residence of that unpopular functionary, the t.i.the-proctor, should be always one of considerable strength, in order the more successfully to resist such midnight attacks as hostile combination might make upon it. Purcel, as well as other proctors of his day, had from time to time received threatening notices, not only of a personal nature, but also of premeditated attacks upon his house. The man was, however, not only intrepid and resolute, but cautious and prudent; and whilst he did not suffer himself to be intimidated by threats that for the most part ended in nothing, he took care to keep himself and his family well provided against any attack that might be made upon them.

The history of Matthew Purcel is soon told. It is that of enterprise, perseverance, and industry, tinged a good deal by a sharp insight into business, a worldly spirit, and although a.s.sociated with a good deal of pride and display, an uncontrollable love of putting money together, not always under circ.u.mstances that were calculated to render him popular, nor which could, in point of feeling or humanity, be at all defended. He had commenced the world, as has been already intimated, in character of a hardware pedlar. From stage to stage of that circulating life he advanced until he was able to become a stationary shopkeeper in the town of C------m. The great predilection of his heart, however, was for farming, and in pursuance with his wishes on this subject, he took a large farm, and entered upon its management with considerable spirit and a good deal of skill. His success was beyond his expectations; and, as the spirit of agriculture continued to gain upon him, he gradually lost his relish for every other description of business. He consequently gave up his large shop in C------m, and went to reside upon his farm, with a capital of some thousands, which he owed to the industry of his previous life. Here he added farm to farm, until he found himself proprietor of nearly six hundred acres, with every prospect of adding largely to his independence and wealth.

It was now that his capacity as a man peculiarly well acquainted with the value of land, and of agricultural produce in general, induced him to accept of offers in connection with the collection of t.i.the, which were a good deal in accordance with his ability and habits. In short, he became a t.i.the-proctor, and in the course of a few years rented t.i.thes himself to a very large amount.

Such is the brief history of Matthew Purcel, at the period when he makes his appearance upon our humble stage; and it only remains that we add a few particulars with regard to his family. Out of eleven children only four survived--two sons and two daughters--all of whom were exceedingly well educated, the latter accomplished. Purcel's great object in life was more to establish a family than to secure the individual happiness of his children. This was his ambition--the spirit which prompted him, in his dealings with the people, to forget too frequently that the garb of justice may be often thrown over the form of rapacity, and that the authority of law is also, in too many instances, only another name for oppression.

It would be difficult, perhaps impossible, to find in their native province four such children as called him father. His two sons were, in symmetry of figure, strength, courage, manly beauty, and gentlemanly bearing, almost unrivalled. They possessed the manners of gentlemen, without any of that offensive c.o.xcombry on the one side, or awkward affectation of ease on the other, which generally mark the upstart.

In fact, although they understood their own worth, and measured their intellectual powers and acquirments successfully with those of rank and birth, they had sense enough to feel that it would have been ridiculous in them to affect by their conduct the prestige of either; and they consequently knew that both discrimination and delicacy were necessary in enabling them to a.s.sume and maintain that difficult bearing in society, which prevented them from encroaching on the one side or giving up their proper position on the other. So far so good. Their characters, however, were not without some deep shadows. Whilst we acknowledge that they were generous, resolute, liberal, and of courage, we must also admit that they were warm, thoughtless, and a good deal overbearing to many, but by no means to all, of the peasantry with whom they came in contact. From the ample scale on which their farming was conducted, and in consequence of the vast number of men they necessarily had occasion to employ, they could not but detect among them many instances both of falsehood, dishonesty, and ingrat.i.tude. These vices at their hands never received any favor. So far from that, those whom they detected in the commission of them, were instantly turned adrift, Very often after having received a sound horse-whipping. Much abuse also occurred between them and the country people with reference to land, and especially t.i.thes, in which they gave back word for word, and too frequently met concealed or implied threats either by instant chastis.e.m.e.nt or open defiance; the result of all was, as the reader may perceive, that they had the worst and least scrupulous, and consequently, most dangerous cla.s.s of persons in the country for their enemies. The name of the elder was John, and the younger Alick; and, soothe to say, two finer-looking, more spirited, or determined young fellows could not be found probably in the kingdom. The relative position, then, in which they and the people, or rather the worst cla.s.s of them, stood to each other, and the bitter disparaging taunts and observations with which the proctor and his sons were treated, not only on the chapel green, but almost wherever they appeared, are now, we trust, intelligible to the reader.

Of the daughters, Mary and Julia, we have not so much to observe.

They were both very beautiful; and, as we have already said, highly accomplished. Both, too, were above the middle height and sizes, and remarkable for the singular elegance and symmetry of their figures.

Mary, the eldest, was a dark beauty, with a neck and bosom like snow, and hair black as the raven's wing; whilst Julia, on the contrary, was fair, and if possible, more exquisitely rounded than her sister. Her eyes, of a blue gray, were remarkable for an expression of peculiar depth and softness, whilst Mary's dark brown were full at once of a mellow and penetrating light. In other respects they resembled each other very much, both being about the same height and size, and altogether of a similar bearing and figure. Mary's complexion was evidently inherited from her mother, who was, at the opening of our narrative, a black-haired, handsome woman, with a good deal of determination about her mouth and brow, but with a singularly benevolent expression when she smiled. She, too, had received a good, plain education, and was one of those naturally well-mannered women who, whilst they are borne forward into greater respectability by the current of prosperity, can a.s.sume, without effort, the improved tone of better society to which they are raised.

There were few women in her sphere of life, or indeed in any sphere of life, who dispensed more good to the poor and distressed than Mrs.

Purcel; and in all her kindness and charities she was most cordially aided and supported by her admirable daughters. Within a wide circle around her dwelling, sickness and dest.i.tution, or unexpected calamity, were ever certain to be cheered by the benevolent hand of herself or her daughters. The latter, indeed, had latterly relieved her, in a great degree, if not altogether, of all her distant and outdoor charities, so that little now was left to her management but the claims of such poor as flocked for a.s.sistance to the house.

Ma.s.s having been concluded, and the benediction given in the chapel of Red Ridge, Mr. Purcel and his family soon appeared among the crowd on the green, preparing to return home. The car was driven up opposite the chapel door, to the place where they were in the habit of waiting for it. The two brothers came out along with their sisters, and signed to the lads who had been holding their horses to bring them up. In the meantime, Buck English, unabashed by the rebuff he had received, once more approached, and just as the car had come up, tendered his gallantry--as he called it--with his usual politeness.

"I trust, leedies, that as you were not kin-descending enough to let me have the gallantry of helping you off, you will let me have the pleasure of helping you on?"

"That lady behind you appears to have prior claims upon you, Mr.

English."

"Behind me!" he exclaimed, turning about. "Why, Miss Joolia, there's no leddy behind me."

In the meantime she beckoned to her brother who, while the, proctor was a.s.sisting his wife to take her seat, helped up both the girls, who nodding to the Buck, said--

"Thank you, Mr. English: we feel much obliged for your gallant intentions; quite as much, indeed, as if you had carried them into effect."

This joke, so soon played off after that which had preceded it, and upon the same person, too, occasioned another very general laugh at the Buck's expense; and, beyond a doubt, filled him with a double measure of mortification and resentment.

"There you go," he muttered, "and it was well said before Ma.s.s, that if you set a beggar on horseback he'll ride to the divil."

"To whom do you apply that language?" asked Alick Purcel.

The Tithe-Proctor Part 2

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