Michael Jackson_ The Magic, the Madness, the Whole Story, 1958-2009 Part 12

'Cool,' John said. The two shook hands. They were developing trust in one another, and nothing could come of such faith but the very best that the record business had to offer for both of them.

Joseph's Secret.

Many people today think of Michael Jackson as an enigma. It's ironic that, twenty-some years ago, his father, Joseph, was thought of in exactly the same way if not by the public, most certainly by his family and friends. 'Sometimes, I think he leads a double life,' Michael said of his father back then. 'He is a very mysterious person.' Of course, Joseph's other life involved the women with whom he had a.s.signations outside of his marriage. But was there more? In 1980, office employees at Joseph Jackson Productions began to suspect that their boss was trying to hide more than just infidelity.

By early 1980, a nineteen-year-old employee named Gina Sprague had become particularly close to Joseph. Gina is of Mexican-English-Irish descent. At five feet five, one hundred pounds, with shoulder-length brown hair, she was vivacious, intelligent and gorgeous. Joseph was taken by her. However, she insists that she and Joseph were not having an affair, though many Jackson intimates do not believe her. They were, she says, just close friends. 'He needed a friend,' she said. 'He was so estranged from his family. Sometimes, he would need to talk. I was there for him. I knew he had a reputation of being a womanizer, but that is not what our relations.h.i.+p was about.

'If he believed in you, he gave you enough strength and courage to try and attain your goal, even if you didn't think you could do it. Once I knew him, I could understand why the family had become superstars. I had to remind Joseph that he should be proud. I used to tell him, "Sure, Michael and the rest get all of the attention, but look at where they came from."

'"The kid hates my guts," he said of Michael. I said, "Joseph, that's not true." He said, "You haven't seen the way he looks at me." There were tears in his eyes. "The kid hates me, Gina. Hates my guts. They all do."

'One thing that struck me very strange is that Michael and his brothers and sisters called him Joseph,' she recalled. 'The first time Janet came into my office she was about thirteen. She walked in and, in a very flip manner, said, "h.e.l.lo. Where's Joseph?" Or Michael would call. "h.e.l.lo, Gina, this is Michael. Is Joseph there?" And I would say, "Your father father is in a meeting at the moment."' is in a meeting at the moment."'

One day Gina, concerned about Joseph's recent mercurial behaviour and mysterious disappearances, asked him what was going on in his life. 'I'm not gonna tell you,' he said with some hesitation. 'Instead, I'll show you.'

Joseph then drove Gina to a building in a suburban Los Angeles neighbourhood where he introduced Gina to Cheryl Terrell. Then, a small African-American child of about six years of age came bounding into the living room. 'Daddy! Daddy!' she exclaimed.

'There she is,' Joseph said with a big smile. 'My little girl.' He scooped the child up in his arms and hugged her tightly.

As he later explained it, Joe and Cheryl Terrell had an affair in 1973. The result of that relations.h.i.+p was a daughter, Joh'Vonnie, born in Los Angeles on 30 August 1974, the day after Michael's sixteenth birthday. Joseph Walter Jackson's name appears on the birth certificate. His occupation is listed as 'entertainment manager'. His age was recorded as forty-six at the time of the baby's birth; the mother's age, twenty-six.

Joseph kept the secret for many years but by 1980 he had decided to tell his family about his daughter. He wanted to become more involved in her upbringing and wanted her to be recognized as a member of the family.

After breaking the ice with Gina, Joseph gathered his sons together in a dressing room after a performance to tell them that they had a half-sister. One can only wonder what he thought their reaction to such news might be and why he decided to tell them the news before before telling Katherine? Of course, they were all upset. The sons then told the daughters, who were also hurt and angry. The children then wrestled with the question of how to tell Katherine, or, if they even telling Katherine? Of course, they were all upset. The sons then told the daughters, who were also hurt and angry. The children then wrestled with the question of how to tell Katherine, or, if they even should should tell her. What a burden it was for them to have this information. In the end, according to LaToya, one of the brothers it's not known which one told Katherine. Of course, she was overcome with understandable emotions. tell her. What a burden it was for them to have this information. In the end, according to LaToya, one of the brothers it's not known which one told Katherine. Of course, she was overcome with understandable emotions.

After she and Joseph had it out, there was nothing to do but deal with the situation as it existed. As a practical woman committed to family values, Katherine put her feelings aside and agreed that Joseph had a responsibility to Joh'Vonnie and to her mother. As a way of providing for them, she and Joseph purchased a three-bedroom home in Van Nuys, a suburb of Los Angeles, for $169,000. As a trustee of his daughter's estate, Joseph then signed the property over to Joh'Vonnie. She and her mother then moved into the home. Katherine could do no more than that. Her nephew, Tim Whitehead (Tim's mother was Katherine's sister, Hattie, and his father is Joseph's stepbrother, Vernon), said, 'Joseph wanted the child to be accepted into the family, but there was no way that was going to happen, I'm afraid. It was too painful for my aunt, and for the children. This was difficult, heartbreaking.'

According to Jerome Howard, Joseph's and Katherine's former finances manager, 'Katherine told me she went into the grocery store one day and saw Joseph's girlfriend and the daughter. She said she just stood there, frozen. "Jerome, the girl looks exactly exactly like Joseph," she said.' like Joseph," she said.'

Though Katherine seemed to be acting in a logical and sensible manner, she was not as unfazed by the news of Joh'Vonnie's existence as she may have wanted people to believe. Michael would indicate later that it was at this time that he sensed an emotional transformation in his mother. She rarely smiled during these days. Her temper would flare over unimportant matters. She ever swore from time to time, which was unusual, and had called Joh'Vonnie a 'b.a.s.t.a.r.d'. When Michael protested, she suggested that if he looked up the word in the dictionary, he would find that she was using it properly. Apparently, Joseph's indiscretions had worn her down, chipped away at her self-esteem, her pride. She now sometimes seemed bitter and angry.

Even though Katherine was going through an ordeal, and the family was being torn apart by the recent turn of events, the Jacksons had no choice but to continue to express a strong sense of unity to the media. Public relations was an important consideration. The family had been turning away from reality and toward image-making ever since they arrived in Los Angeles from Gary. However, for Michael, nothing would ever be the same. Joseph's actions had resulted in the ultimate betrayal of his mother, indeed his entire family, and Michael would have a difficult time dealing with his father on any level, for many years. Despite what people may have thought, Michael somehow expected more from his father.

Though Katherine was clearly angry, and had good reason to be, she was a religious woman who desperately wanted to be a forgiving Jehovah's Witness. She would not confide in anyone about her fury, would not discuss her hurt over what had happened with Cheryl Terrell and Joh'Vonnie. It was just a matter of time before her suppressed rage would erupt, especially when she heard rumours in the summer of 1980 that Joseph was having an affair with Gina Sprague, the woman in whom he had first confided about Joh'Vonnie. Some of her friends felt that Katherine Jackson was much like a time bomb, ticking, ticking, ticking... about to explode.

Katherine is Pushed Too Far.

As time pa.s.sed, Gina Sprague began to 'cover' for Joseph Jackson whenever he wanted to visit his daughter. 'Even though the family knew about her, he didn't want to flaunt her,' says Gina. 'Sometimes, they would call and ask for him and, even though I knew he was with Joh'Vonnie and maybe even Cheryl, I would lie and say he was in a meeting, or otherwise unavailable. This went on for months.'

Because Joseph and Gina seemed to share so many secrets, the word was out in his production company that they were having an affair. According to Gina, someone in the office began feeding misinformation to Katherine, who was already suspicious of all of Joseph's female friends and still reeling from the shock of Cheryl and Joh'Vonnie.

One day, the phone rang. Gina picked it up. 'Good afternoon, Joseph Jackson Productions.'

'I want you to quit your job,' said a female voice. 'Do you hear me? Quit, or we're coming to get you.'

'What? Who is this?' Gina asked, panicked.

The caller hung up.

Gina was upset. She went straight to Joseph and told him about the mysterious call.

'Oh, that's just nonsense,' Joseph told her, barely glancing up from his paperwork. 'No one is coming after you, Gina,' said. 'I promise you. You'll be fine.'

The next day, 16 October 1980, at three o'clock in the afternoon, Gina was behind her desk in the reception area of Joseph Jackson Productions, 6255 Sunset Boulevard, Suite 1001 (the same building in which Motown Records was housed), when Randy Jackson, then eighteen, entered. He asked two other employees to leave the office so that he and Gina could be alone. The two employees did as they were told. Randy then also left for a moment, and returned with Janet, fourteen, and with Katherine. A bitter argument about Gina's relations.h.i.+p with Joseph ensued.

Then, according to what Gina told police, matters got out of control and Katherine, Randy and Janet pulled her into a stairwell and a.s.saulted her. When Jim Krieg, an office security guard, heard screams, he ran to investigate and later said he observed Randy holding Gina against the wall while Katherine pummelled her with her purse. Upon seeing the guard, Janet hissed at him, 'Leave, mister. This is a family affair.' He left, as instructed by the fourteen-year-old. Katherine grabbed a gold medallion from Gina's neck. 'This belongs to me,' she said. 'Not you.' When one of Diana Ross's brothers happened by, he asked 'Mother, what are you doing?' [Many of her friends called Katherine 'Mother'.] 'Go about your business, this is a family matter,' she told him, according to what he later recalled. He ran off, stunned. The rest of the police report is graphic in its account of the violence Gina says took place that afternoon.

Joseph was in a meeting with his door closed. When Gina came stumbling back into the office suite, she was crying. He ran out of his private office. 'My G.o.d, what happened to you?' he asked her.

Too upset to speak, Gina collapsed on to the floor. Police officers and an ambulance, summoned by Jim Krieg, arrived on the scene. When medics lifted Gina to put her on a stretcher, she let out a piercing scream. Joseph leaned over and whispered urgently in Gina's ear, 'Tell me, who did this to you? Was it some crazy fan?'

'It was Katherine,' Gina said through her tears, her voice lowered so as not to be heard by anyone by Joseph.

Joseph's eyes widened. 'But that can't be true,' he whispered.

'It is true, Joseph,' Gina insisted.

Gina Sprague was taken to Hollywood Presbyterian Medical Center, where she was treated for multiple cuts, bruises, and a minor head injury. Joseph did not visit her there. She was released the next day. Exhausted, she went to bed as soon as she got home. Just as she was about to doze off, she heard loud voices, as her friend refused to allow Joseph into the house. Gina got up and went to the door. 'You can let him in,' she said.

Joseph looked worn out from lack of sleep, sapped of his usual vitality. With some hesitation, Gina's friend left them alone.

'Why, Joseph?' Gina asked him, according to her memory.

'I just can't believe she would do that,' Joseph said, putting his head in his hands. Gina had never seen him this way before; it was a shock. Still, she was furious with him.

'You called the cops, didn't you? Now what's gonna happen?' Joseph asked. 'And you, of all people in my life, know how much I love my family. They're everything to me.'

Gina shook her head in astonishment. 'I was trying to cover up for you so you could visit Joh'Vonnie, and this is what happened to me because of it,' she said, angrily. 'Don't you even care about that?'

'What I care about is my family,' Joseph repeated. He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. 'I have worked so hard,' he said, reaching into the breast pocket of his jacket. Then, with a shaking hand, he pulled out an envelope and handed it to Gina. Inside, as Gina recalled it, there was a cheque for a large sum of money.

'Take it,' Joseph instructed. 'It's yours.'

She gave him an incredulous look. 'I don't want your money, Joseph,' she said. She crumpled the cheque and threw it at him. 'Leave my house,' she demanded. 'How dare you?'

Floundering, Joseph walked out of the room, his head drooping. Gina slammed the door behind him.

Michael was stunned by the way his mother, sister and brother had supposedly attacked Gina. He could not reconcile such a violent act with the image of his beloved and gentle mother. He refused to believe it, and insists to this day that it never happened. Most of the family, though, knows that Katherine had reached her limit. 'Basically, Joseph was in love with that girl Gina,' recalled Tim Whitehead. 'And my aunt didn't like it and wanted it to stop. She became extremely upset, and went to the office to see Gina. After so many years, Kate had just reached her breaking point. You can only push a person so far.'

Gina decided not to press charges against the Jacksons. She says that her attorney told her not to bother, 'because those rich people will never be going to jail, and you'll be wasting your time trying to put them there.' Instead, she filed a twenty-one-million-dollar civil lawsuit against Katherine, Janet and Randy.

Katherine, Randy and Janet denied that the incident ever happened. They claimed in their answer to the suit that Gina would never have been injured if she had exercised 'ordinary care on her behalf', which seemed... odd.

In the end, Gina and Joseph negotiated an out-of-court settlement, the details of which she is not at liberty to disclose. 'I felt sorry for them,' she concludes. 'I loved that family. I know that I was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back, but like I told Katherine in court, next time, kick his his a.s.s. Not mine.' a.s.s. Not mine.'

Jane Fonda.

At this time, the autumn of 1980, Michael supervised a music video of the Jacksons' song 'Can You Feel It?'. Ironically, considering what was going on at home with Gina Sprague, the song, written by Michael and Randy, is an anthem to loving human relations. In the video, the brothers appear as superhuman behemoths hoisting a colourful rainbow to light the heavens. They sprinkle Stardust upon the earth, which causes small children of all races and colours to beam at them with appreciation. Bathed in rainbow hues, the youngsters gaze up in wonder at Michael and his brothers. In return, the Jacksons smile down upon the children benevolently; Michael with the biggest smile of all.

'It's a nice place Michael comes from,' Steven Spielberg has observed. 'I wish we could all spend some time in his world.'

Michael also became close to actress Jane Fonda, at this time forty-two, about twenty years Michael's senior, who would try to encourage him to see his mother in a more human light. He and Jane met in 1980 at a press function in Los Angeles. The two discussed their lives, both having come from show-business families, and quickly became close. Some people in Michael's world have speculated that the reason he gravitated towards powerful women who seem self-sufficient, such as Diana Ross and, later, Elizabeth Taylor, was because he had felt so helpless while watching his mother being abused by Joseph. He viewed Katherine as weak and victimized, therefore he searched for a subst.i.tute mother, a strong woman he could emulate and respect. It's as good a theory as any other; who knows? Maybe he just likes to hang out with divas.

Jane's Fonda's father, legendary actor Henry Fonda, had been an emotionally distant, difficult man, much like Michael's father, Joseph. She understood Michael's anger at the way Joseph treated his wife, Katherine, had similarly heated emotions about her own parents, and had worked for years to resolve them. She invited Michael to stay with her in her cabin on a New England lake as she and her father, along with veteran actress, Katharine Hepburn, filmed On Golden Pond. On Golden Pond. 'In some ways,' Jane Fonda recalled, 'Michael reminded me of the walking wounded, an extremely fragile person.' 'In some ways,' Jane Fonda recalled, 'Michael reminded me of the walking wounded, an extremely fragile person.'

As Michael sat with Katharine Hepburn with a tape-recorder, she shared anecdotes about her life. 'Every one included some kind of message for Michael,' said Jane, 'about the way he might want to handle fame, about the way he might want to deal with his life. They became good friends. He just thought she was fascinating.'

While in New England, Michael also befriended Henry Fonda.

He and Jane, though, were the closest. As he told me, 'We would go out on the water together in a row boat and just talk, talk and talk... you name it: politics, philosophers, racism, Vietnam, acting, all kinds of things.'

Once, Michael and Jane were taking a drive Jane was behind the wheel and they were discussing possible film projects for him. 'G.o.d, Michael, I wish I could find a movie I could produce for you,' she said, wistfully. Suddenly, an idea occurred to her. 'I know what you've got to do,' she said. 'Peter Pan! That's it!'

Tears began to well in Michael's eyes. He wanted to know why she would suggest that character. She told him that, in her mind's eye, he really was Peter Pan, the symbol of youth, joy and freedom.

Michael began to weep. 'You know all over the walls of my room are pictures of Peter Pan. I totally identify with Peter Pan,' he said, wiping his eyes, 'the lost boy of Never-Never Land.'

When the subject of Katherine came up between them during one conversation, Michael confided in Jane about the Gina Sprague incident. According to Bernice Littman, who was a Beverly Hills friend of Jane Fonda's and worked for her as a personal a.s.sistant at this time, 'Jane thought the whole [Katherine vs. Gina.] thing was tragic, and that Michael was too fragile to handle it. She also felt badly for Michael's mother and wondered just how far a woman has to be pushed before she reacts in such a way. She spent a lot of time trying connect with him, really worked at it, took it on as a true concern in her life. "I feel a responsibility to him," she told me, "just from one human being to another. He so needs love." "You have to stop trying to find strength in other people," she told him one day during one of their talks. He was at her home in the library with her; I was in the outer office. "Your mother has flaws, Michael, just as we all do. But you're an adult, now," she said. "Why not let your mother be who she is, and find your own strength, within?" I don't think Michael could understand what she was saying. "Can you help me?" he asked her. "I'm so miserable. I'm having a terrible life." They embraced. "You're having a wonderful life, Michael," she said. "These are just hard years, but it'll get better. I promise."

'Michael sobbed like a baby,' said Bernice. 'So did I. I stood outside of the library and just cried. It was so sad. He was so sad. It was as if he was an alien, just visiting, from another world.'

Meanwhile, in the real world, a CBS Records executive telephoned Michael to ask him how he should handle the press, who had begun asking questions about his mother.

'What do you mean? Michael wondered.

'The Gina Sprague incident.'

'Who's she?' Michael asked, snappishly.

'The woman who got into the disagreement with your mother, Randy and Janet.'

'That never happened,' Michael said, quickly.

'But '

'I'm sorry,' Michael concluded, 'but I have to go, now.'

With that, he hung up the phone. Michael was withdrawing deeper into his fantasy world, a place where such things as his mother possibly a.s.saulting his father's girlfriend would never occur. He was becoming more distant, harder to reach. How long would it be before no one, not even someone like Jane Fonda, would be able to connect with him? It would simply be too painful for him to allow anyone to get that close.

PART FIVE.

The First 'Nose Job'... and Other Freedoms.

Despite the inroads he had made towards independence from his family, by 1981, Michael Jackson still felt that his life was spinning out of control. When he was onstage, performing, he could transform himself into the desirable person of his dreams: a s.e.xy, outgoing, confident person who exerted total control over himself and his audience. But offstage was another story. When he looked in the mirror, he saw a person he didn't like very much, a person who still allowed himself to be controlled by other people, whose talent was respected but whose opinions didn't matter. He'd begun to work on some of that with John Branca, but what could he do about the physical appearance of the man in the mirror? He'd never felt handsome, that's for certain, and by 1981 he had a litany of personal complaints, all adding to his deep insecurity.

Michael considered rhinoplasty surgery, popularly known as 'a nose job', as a possibility to thin out his wide nose. Since about the age of thirteen, he'd always been fixated on the size of his nose, and his brothers had only made matters worse with their nickname for him: Big Nose. Wide, flat noses were a Jackson family trait, inherited from Joseph. Michael had been threatening to have the surgery for years, but he was too afraid actually to go through with it. However, in the spring of 1979, he tripped during a complicated dance routine, fell onstage... and broke his nose. Fate had intervened; he had no choice. He flew back to Los Angeles and had his first rhinoplasty.

Gina Sprague recalled, 'Joseph told me he doubted that Michael would ever have had the nose job if he didn't have to do it. That was the first. No one ever dreamed what it would lead to in the future. After the bandages came off, Michael liked what he saw.'

The result of that first surgery is the nose seen on the cover of Michael's Off the Wall Off the Wall alb.u.m, one just a bit smaller than the one with which he was born. Indeed, Michael's face had been surgically transformed, confirming the notion for him that his appearance was one thing over which he could absolutely exert control if he wanted to do so. However, afterwards Michael complained of some breathing problems, and trouble singing. He was then referred to Dr Steven Hoefflin, who would suggest a second surgery. Hoefflin would perform that surgery, and others that Michael would eventually have on his face. alb.u.m, one just a bit smaller than the one with which he was born. Indeed, Michael's face had been surgically transformed, confirming the notion for him that his appearance was one thing over which he could absolutely exert control if he wanted to do so. However, afterwards Michael complained of some breathing problems, and trouble singing. He was then referred to Dr Steven Hoefflin, who would suggest a second surgery. Hoefflin would perform that surgery, and others that Michael would eventually have on his face.

His friend, Jane Fonda was sufficiently distressed enough about Michael's new plastic surgery to approach him about it. She was perceptive enough to speculate that the real reason for the operations on his nose was not so that he could look like Diana Ross as rumoured but, so that he would not not end up looking like his father, Joseph. She was a different kind of friend for Michael, a person with more on her mind than just show business. Thoughtful and direct, she was the only person in his life who actually confronted Michael about his surgeries. 'I want you to stop now,' she told Michael, according to a later recollection. 'No more. Promise me you won't go too far with this thing. Love yourself the way you are, for who you are.' end up looking like his father, Joseph. She was a different kind of friend for Michael, a person with more on her mind than just show business. Thoughtful and direct, she was the only person in his life who actually confronted Michael about his surgeries. 'I want you to stop now,' she told Michael, according to a later recollection. 'No more. Promise me you won't go too far with this thing. Love yourself the way you are, for who you are.'

'I'll try,' Michael promised.

'And stand up straight,' she told him, as if his school teacher. 'You must look like you are somebody important, and that you understand what you're doing and why you are here. If you at least look look self-confident, maybe you won't be so shy.' self-confident, maybe you won't be so shy.'

'Yes, Jane.'

But Michael obviously was not not self-confident. By 1980, he had his new nose, but he was still desperately unhappy. 'Even at home, I'm lonely,' he said. 'I sit in my room sometimes and cry. It's so hard to make friends, and there are some things you can't talk to your parents or family about. I sometimes walk around the neighbourhood at night, just hoping to find someone to talk to. But I just end up coming home.' The notion of Michael Jackson a world-renowned superstar walking around his Encino neighbourhood in search of someone to talk to is startling. Imagine the depth of his despair, his loneliness. self-confident. By 1980, he had his new nose, but he was still desperately unhappy. 'Even at home, I'm lonely,' he said. 'I sit in my room sometimes and cry. It's so hard to make friends, and there are some things you can't talk to your parents or family about. I sometimes walk around the neighbourhood at night, just hoping to find someone to talk to. But I just end up coming home.' The notion of Michael Jackson a world-renowned superstar walking around his Encino neighbourhood in search of someone to talk to is startling. Imagine the depth of his despair, his loneliness.

The fact that his face was still broken out with acne did not help matters. Michael had read that the types of greasy foods he enjoyed contributed to the problem. Jermaine, who also had acne, became a vegetarian in order to solve the problem. It worked. Michael decided that he would do the same. One unexpected consequence of the diet was that he lost weight. Michael was certainly not fat, obviously, but he still had 'baby fat' around his waist, and his face was full. He longed to be slimmer, to have what he called 'a dancer's body'. In time, his figure would become more streamlined and the roundness in his face would disappear. His acne would also clear up. Many people would think that Michael had 'cheek implant' surgery in 1980, but the new, clearly defined lines of his face were actually brought about by the gradual weight loss he had experienced after becoming a vegetarian, and also by the natural aging process.

It was John Branca's suggestion that, if Michael wanted to forge some independence he might want to consider purchasing his own real estate. He was twenty-two. Why did he have to live at home? The idea of moving away from Joseph was exhilarating for Michael, even though he didn't want to leave Katherine. Still, he thought he might try it. Therefore, in February of 1981, Michael bought a three-bedroom, three-bathroom condominium at 5420 Lindley Avenue in Encino for $210,000. He paid $175,000 in cash. The balance .$35,000 came from Katherine. In exchange, Michael gave her equity in the condominium as sole and separate property, meaning she did not have to share it with Joseph as community property. It was his way of giving her a bit of freedom, as well. Certainly, Michael didn't need her to contribute $35,000. No doubt, she wanted to pay for the possibility of having her own freedom, just like her son. 'Now, if you can't stand him for another second,' Michael said, speaking of Joseph, 'you can move here. It will be great. We could live here together, imagine that! And without him him.'

In the end, Michael could not go through with it; he couldn't move out, especially since Katherine didn't want to go, either. 'I just don't feel it's time for me to move away from home yet,' he said. 'If I moved out now, I'd die of loneliness. Most people who move out go to discos every night. They party every night. They invite friends over, and I don't do any of those things.' (In a couple of years, Michael would move into the condominium temporarily, along with other family members, when the Encino home was remodelled. He still owns the condominium today; it has been used as a haven for his brothers when they have had marital difficulties.) In the spring of 1981, plans were being finalized for The Jacksons to embark on a thirty-nine-city concert tour of the United States to support their new alb.u.m, called Triumph. Triumph. Michael didn't want to go. One problem he had with touring concerned the enormous amount of preparation and work involved. Then when it was over, it was over unlike a movie or a video, which is timeless and lasting. 'What's so sad about the whole thing is that you don't capture the moment,' he told me of live performances. 'Look at how many great actors or entertainers have been lost to the world because they did a performance one night and that was it. With film, you capture it, it's shown all over the world, and it's there for ever. Spencer Tracy will always be young in Michael didn't want to go. One problem he had with touring concerned the enormous amount of preparation and work involved. Then when it was over, it was over unlike a movie or a video, which is timeless and lasting. 'What's so sad about the whole thing is that you don't capture the moment,' he told me of live performances. 'Look at how many great actors or entertainers have been lost to the world because they did a performance one night and that was it. With film, you capture it, it's shown all over the world, and it's there for ever. Spencer Tracy will always be young in Captains Courageous, Captains Courageous, and I can learn and be stimulated by his performance. and I can learn and be stimulated by his performance.

'So much is lost in live theatre. Or vaudeville. Do you know how much I could have learned by watching all of those entertainers? When I perform, I feel like I'm giving a whole lot but for nothing. I like to capture things and hold them and share them with the world.'

He really had no choice, however. His family wanted him to go on the road with them the tour was projected to gross millions of dollars for them the record label had also insisted upon a tour... so there would be a tour. Michael just hoped that it would, in some way, unite the family after such difficult times at home. He was frustrated and upset, but he would force himself along. Still, some would notice a cold implacability on his face when with the family at rehearsals. He seemed removed from the proceedings, not involved, not interested.

Before embarking on the Triumph tour, Michael underwent the second rhinoplasty surgery recommended by Dr Steven Hoefflin. 'He didn't tell his family he was doing it,' said Marcus Phillips. 'He just did it. He came home all black and blue and bandaged, and Katherine said, "Michael, what in the world happened to you?" She must have thought he'd been beaten up. "Did you break your nose again?" she asked. He told her he hadn't, that his doctor recommended a second operation. Then, he went to his bedroom and stayed there for a week, coming down to the kitchen every now and then for some vegetables.

'One thing I know to be true is that Michael was elated about the fact that with the second nose job he looked less like his father,' Marcus Phillips said. 'That appealed to him very much. If he couldn't erase Joseph from his life, at least he could erase him from the reflection in the mirror. Already, he was talking about having a third nose job.'

Even though Michael never discussed his surgery with anyone, he was crying out for help, becoming obsessed by the appearance of the man in the mirror, and a dangerous pattern was beginning to emerge.

In June 1981, Michael and Quincy Jones began work on a storytelling record book of Steven Spielberg's film, E. T. E. T. Michael would also be featured as vocalist on one song, 'Someone in the Dark', written by Alan and Marilyn Bergman. Michael was so enchanted by the story of Michael would also be featured as vocalist on one song, 'Someone in the Dark', written by Alan and Marilyn Bergman. Michael was so enchanted by the story of E. T. E. T. that he couldn't wait to meet the animated extraterrestrial 'actor' when a publicity photo session was arranged. 'He grabbed me, he put his arms around me,' Michael said of the animatronic robot, his face filled with child-like wonder. 'He was so real that I was talking to him. I kissed him before I left. The next day, I missed him.' that he couldn't wait to meet the animated extraterrestrial 'actor' when a publicity photo session was arranged. 'He grabbed me, he put his arms around me,' Michael said of the animatronic robot, his face filled with child-like wonder. 'He was so real that I was talking to him. I kissed him before I left. The next day, I missed him.'

Later in the month, Michael went into the studio with Diana Ross to produce a song for her called 'Muscles' named after his pet snake. Michael was ecstatic about the opportunity to produce a record for his idol. Some claimed that the reason Michael had his plastic surgery was in order to look more like Miss Ross. However, as one Jackson confidant put it, 'If Michael Jackson wanted to look like Diana Ross, believe me, he had the millions to look exactly exactly like Diana Ross. That was never his intention. However, that's not to say that he wasn't tickled that people thought he resembled her. "Do you really think I do?" he would ask, tilting his head in a pose. "Because if I do, wow! How amazing would like Diana Ross. That was never his intention. However, that's not to say that he wasn't tickled that people thought he resembled her. "Do you really think I do?" he would ask, tilting his head in a pose. "Because if I do, wow! How amazing would that that be."' be."'