The Little Tea Book Part 4

In restless ire from guest to guest he goes, And names us all among our country's foes; Swears 'tis a shame that we should drink our tea, 'Till wrongs are righted and the nation free, That priests and poets are a venal race, Who preach for patronage and rhyme for place; Declares that boys and girls should not be cooing.

When England's hope is bankruptcy and ruin; That wiser 'twere the coming wrath to fly, And that old women should make haste to die.

Condensed from a poem published in _Fraser's Magazine_, January, 1857, and ascribed to Hartley Coleridge.

_LADIES, LITERATURE, AND TEA_

In spite of the fact that coffee is just as important a beverage as tea, tea has been sipped more in literature.

Tea is certainly as much of a social drink as coffee, and more of a domestic, for the reason that the teacup hours are the family hours. As these are the hours when the s.e.xes are thrown together, and as most of the poetry and philosophy of tea-drinking teem with female virtues, vanities, and whimsicalities, the inference is that, without women, tea would be nothing, and without tea, women would be stale, flat, and uninteresting. With them it is a polite, purring, soft, gentle, kind, sympathetic, delicious beverage.

In support of this theory, notice what Pope, Gay, Crabbe, Cowper, Dryden, and others have written on the subject.

"The tea-cup times of hood and hoop, And when the patch was worn"

--wrote Tennyson of the early half of the seventeenth century.

What a suggestive couplet, full of the foibles and follies of the times! A picture a la mode of the period when fair dames made their red cheeks cute with eccentric patches. Ornamented with high coiffures, powdered hair, robed in satin petticoats and square-cut bodices, they blossomed, according to the old engravings, into most fetching figures. Even the beaux of the day affected feminine frills in their many-colored, bell-skirted waistcoats, lace ruffles, patches, and powdered queues.

Dryden must have succ.u.mbed to the charms of women through tea, when he wrote:

"And thou, great Anna, whom three realms obey, Dost sometimes take counsel, and sometimes tay."

From the great vogue which tea started grew a taste for china; the more peculiar and striking the design, the more valuable the tea-set.

Pope in one of his satirical compositions praises the composure of a woman who is

"Mistress of herself though china fall."

Even that fine old bachelor, philosopher, and humorist, Charles Lamb, thought that the subject deserved an essay.

In speaking of the ornaments on the tea-cup he says, in "Old China":

"I like to see my old friends, whom distance cannot diminish, figuring up in the air (so they appear to our optics), yet on terra firma still, for so we must in courtesy interpret that speck of deeper blue which the decorous artist, to prevent absurdity, has made to spring up beneath their sandals. I love the men with women's faces and the women, if possible, with still more womanish expressions.

"Here is a young and courtly Mandarin, handing tea to a lady from a salver--two miles off. See how distance seems to set off respect! And here the same lady, or another--for likeness is ident.i.ty on tea-cups--is stepping into a little fairy boat, moored on the hither side of this calm garden river, with a dainty, mincing foot, which is in a right angle of incidence (as angles go in our world) that must infallibly land her in the midst of a flowery mead--a furlong off on the other side of the same strange stream!"

The _Spectator_ and the _Tatter_ were also susceptible to the female influence that tea inspired. In both of these journals there are frequent allusions to tea-parties and china. At these gatherings, poets and dilletante literary gentlemen read their verses and essays to the ladies, who criticised their merits.

These "literary teas" became so contagious that a burning desire for authors.h.i.+p took possession of the ladies, for among those who made their debut as authors about this time were f.a.n.n.y Burney, Mrs. Alphra Behn, Mrs. Manley, the Countess of Winchelsea, and a host of others.

One of the readers of the _Spectator_ wrote as follows:

"_Mr. Spectator:_ Your paper is a part of my tea-equipage, and my servant knows my humor so well that, calling for my breakfast this morning (it being past my usual hour), she answered, the _Spectator_ was not come in, but that the tea-kettle boiled, and she expected it every minute."

Crabbe, too, was a devotee of ladies, literature, and tea, for he wrote:

"The gentle fair on nervous tea relies, Whilst gay good-nature sparkles in her eyes; And inoffensive scandal fluttering round, Too rough to tickle and too light to wound."

What better proof do we want, therefore, that to women's influence is due the cultivation and retention of the tea habit?

Without tea, what would become of women, and without women and tea, what would become of our domestic literary men and matinee idols? They would not sit at home or in salons and write and act things. There would be no homes to sit in, no salons or theatres to act in, and dramatic art would receive a blow from which it could not recover in a century, at least.

[Ill.u.s.tration of woman and cat]

In the year 1700, J. Roberts, a London publisher, issued a pamphlet of about fifty pages which was made up as follows:

Poem upon Tea in Two Cantos . . . 34 pages Dedication of the poem . . . . . . 6 "

Preface to the poem . . . . . . . 2 "

Poem upon the poem . . . . . .. . 1 "

Introduction to the poem . . . . . 4 "

To the author upon the poem . . 1 "

Postscript . . . . . . . . . .. . 3 "

Tea-Table . . . . . . . . . . . . 2 "

The poem--_piece de resistance_--which is by one Nahum Tate, who figures on the t.i.tle-page as "Servant to His Majesty," is an allegory; and although good in spots is too long and too dry to reproduce here. "The poem upon the poem," "The Introduction,"

and the "Tea-Table" verses will be found interesting and entertaining.

_ON OUR ENGLISH POETRY AND THIS POEM UPON TEA_

See Spanish Curderon in Strength outdone: And see the Prize of Wit from Ta.s.so won: See Corneil's Skill and Decency Refin'd; See Rapin's Art, and Molier's Fire Outs.h.i.+n'd; See Dryden's Lamp to our admiring View, Brought from the Tomb to s.h.i.+ne and Blaze anew!

The British Laurel by old Chaucer worn, Still Fresh and Gay, did Dryden's Brow Adorn; And that its l.u.s.tre may not fade on Thine, Wit, Fancy, Judgment, Taste, in thee combine.

Thy pow'rful Genius thus, from Censure's Frown And Envy's Blast, in Flouris.h.i.+ng Renown, Supports our British Muses Verdant Crown.

Nor only takes a Trusty Laureat's Care, Lest Thou the Muses Garland might'st impair; But, more Enrich'd, the Chaplet to Bequeath, With Eastern Tea join'd to the Laurel-Wreath.

--R. B.

_TO THE AUTHOR ON HIS POEM UPON TEA_

Let Rustick Satyr, now no more Abuse, In rude Unskilful Strains, thy Tuneful Muse; No more let Envy lash thy true-bred Steed, Nor cross thy easy, just, and prudent Speed: Who dext'rously doth bear or loose the Rein, To climb each lofty Hill, or scour the Plain: With proper Weight and Force thy Courses run; Where still thy Pegasus has Wonders done, Come home with Strength, and thus the Prize has Won.

But now takes Wing, and to the Skies aspires; While Vanquish'd Envy the bold Flight admires, And baffled Satyr to his Den retires.

--T. W.

_THE INTRODUCTION_

Fame Sound thy Trump, all Ranks of Mortals Call, To share a Prize that will enrich 'em All.

You that with Sacred Oracles converse, And clearly wou'd Mysterious Truths rehea.r.s.e; On soaring Wings of Contemplation rise, And fetch Discov'ries from above the Skies; Ethereal TEA your Notions will resine, Till you yourselves become almost Divine.

You statesmen, who in Storms the Publick Helm Wou'd Guide with Skill, and Save a sinking Realm, TEA, your Minerva, shall suggest such Sense, Such safe and sudden Turns of Thought dispense, That you, like her Ulysses, may Advise, And start Designs that shall the World surprise.

You Pleaders, who for Conquest at the Bar Contend as Fierce and Loud as Chiefs in War; Would you Amaze and Charm the list'ning Court?

First to this Spring of Eloquence resort: Then boldly launch on Tully's flowing Seas, And grasp the Thunder of Demosthenes.