The Little Tea Book Part 5

You Artists of the AEsculapian Tribe, Wou'd you, like AEsculapius's Self, Prescribe, Cure Maladies, and Maladies prevent?

Receive this Plant, from your own Phoebus sent; Whence Life's nice Lamp in Temper is maintain'd, When Dim, Recruited, when too fierce, restrained.

You Curious Souls, who all our Thoughts apply, The hidden Works of Nature to descry; Why veering Winds with Vari'd Motion blow, Why Seas in settled Courses Ebb and Flow; Wou'd you these Secrets of her Empire know?

Treat the Coy Nymph with this Celestial Dew, Like Ariadne she'll impart the Clue; Shall through her Winding Labyrinths convey, And Causes, iculking in their Cells, display.

You that to Isis's Bark or Cam retreat, Wou'd you prove worthy Sons of either Seat, And All in Learning's Commonwealth be Great?

Infuse this Leaf, and your own Streams shall bring More Science than the fam'd Castalian Spring.

Wou'd you, O Musick's Sons, your art Compleat, And all its ancient Miracles repeat, Rouse Rev'ling Monarchs into Martial Rage, And, when Inflam'd, with Softer Notes As swage; The tedious Hours of absent Love beguile, Charm Care asleep, and make Affliction smile?

Carouse in Tea, that will your Souls inspire; Drink Phoebus's liquor and command his Lyre.

Sons of Appelles, wou'd you draw the Face And Shape of Venus, and with equal Grace In some Elysian Field the Figure place?

Your Fancy, warm'd by TEA, with wish'd success, Shall Beauty's Queen in all her Charms express; With Nature's Rural Pride your Landscape fill The Shady Grotto, and the Sunny Hill, The Laughing Meadow, and the Talking Rill.

Sons of the Muses, would you Charm the Plains With Chearful Lays, or Sweet Condoling Strains; Or with a Sonnet make the Vallies ring, To Welcome home the G.o.ddess of the Spring?

Or wou'd you in sublimer Themes engage, And sing of Worthies who adorn the Age?

Or, with Promethean Boldness, wou'd aspire To Catch a Spark of the Celestial Fire That Crowned the Royal Conquest, and could raise Juverne's Boyn above Scamander's Praise?

Drink, drink Inspiring TEA, and boldly draw A Hercules, a Mars, or a Na.s.sAU.

_THE TEA-TABLE_

Hail, Queen of Plants, Pride of Elysian Bow'rs!

How shall we speak thy complicated Pow'rs?

Thou Won'drous Panacea to a.s.swage The Calentures of Youths' fermenting rage, And Animate the freezing Veins of age.

To Bacchus when our Griefs repair for Ease, The Remedy proves worse than the Disease.

Where Reason we must lose to keep the Round, And drinking others Health's, our own confound: Whilst TEA, our Sorrows to beguile, Sobriety and Mirth does reconcile: For to this Nectar we the Blessing owe, To grow more Wise, as we more Cheerful grow.

Whilst fancy does her brightest beams dispense, And decent Wit diverts without Offense.

Then in Discourse of Nature's mystick Pow'rs And n.o.blest Themes, we pa.s.s the well spent Hours.

Whilst all around the Virtues' Sacred Band, And list'ning Graces, pleas'd Attendants, stand.

Thus our Tea-Conversation we employ, Where with Delight, Instruction we enjoy; Quaffing, without the waste of Time or Wealth, The Sov'reign Drink of Pleasure and of Health.

_DR. JOHNSON'S AFFINITY_

DR. SAMUEL JOHNSON drew his own portrait thus:

"A hardened and shameless tea-drinker, who for twenty years diluted his meals with the infusion of this fascinating plant; whose kettle had scarcely time to cool; who with tea amused the evening, with tea solaced the midnight, and with tea welcomed the morning."

_EARLIEST MENTION OF TEA_

According to a magazinist, the first mention of tea by an Englishman is to be found in a letter from Mr. Wickham, an agent of the East India Company, written from j.a.pan, on the 27th of June, 1615, to Mr. Eaton, another officer of the company, a resident of Macao, asking him to send "a pot of the best chaw." In Mr. Eaton's accounts of expenditure occurs this item:

"Three silver porringiys to drink chaw in."

_AUSTRALIAN TEA_

In the interior of Australia all the men drink tea. They drink it all day long, and in quant.i.ties and at a strength that would seem to be poisonous. On Sunday morning the tea-maker starts with a clean pot and a clean record. The pot is hung over the fire with a sufficiency of water in it for the day's brew, and when this has boiled he pours into it enough of the fragrant herb to produce a deep, coffee-colored liquid.

On Monday, without removing yesterday's tea-leaves, he repeats the process; on Tuesday da capo and on Wednesday da capo, and so on through the week. Toward the close of it the great pot is filled with an acrid mash of tea-leaves, out of which the liquor is squeezed by the pressure of a tin cup.

By this time the tea is of the color of rusty iron, incredibly bitter and disagreeable to the uneducated palate. The native calls it "real good old post and rails," the simile being obviously drawn from a stiff and dangerous jump, and regards it as having been brought to perfection.

_FIVE-O'CLOCK TEA_

There is a fallacy among certain tea-fanciers that the origin of five-o'clock tea was due to hygienic demand. These students of the stomach contend that as a tonic and gentle stimulant, when not taken with meat, it is not to be equalled. With meat or any but light food it is considered harmful. Taken between luncheon and dinner it drives away fatigue and acts as a tonic. This is good if true, but it is only a theory, after all. Our theory is that five o'clock in the afternoon is the ladies' leisure hour, and that the taking of tea at that time is an escape from _ennui_.

_TEA IN LADIES' NOVELS_

What would women novelists do without tea in their books?

The novelists of the rougher s.e.x write of "over the coffee and cigars"; or, "around the gay and festive board"; or, "over a bottle of old port"; or, "another bottle of dry and sparkling champagne was cracked"; or, "and the succulent welsh rarebits were washed down with royal mugs of musty ale"; or, "as the storm grew fiercer, the captain ordered all hands to splice the main brace," _i. e._, to take a drink of rum; or, "as he gulped down the last drink of fiery whiskey, he reeled through the tavern door, and his swaying form drifted into the bleak, black night, as a roar of laughter drowned his repentant sobs." But the ladies of the novel confine themselves almost exclusively to tea--rarely allowing their heroes and heroines to indulge in even coffee, though they sometimes treat their heroes to wine; but their heroines rarely get anything from them but Oolong.

[Ill.u.s.tration of Old Russian Samovar]

_SYDNEY SMITH_

One evening when Sidney Smith was drinking tea with Mrs. Austin the servant entered the crowded room with a boiling tea-kettle in his hand. It seemed doubtful, nay, impossible, he should make his way among the numerous gossips--but on the first approach of the steaming kettle the crowd receded on all sides, Mr. Smith among the rest, though carefully watching the progress of the lad to the table.

"I declare," said he, addressing Mrs. Austin, "a man who wishes to make his way in life could do no better than go through the world with a boiling tea-kettle in his hand."--_Life of Rev.

Sydney Smith_.

_DR. JOHNSON AGAIN_

The good doctor evidently lived up to his reputation as a tea-drinker at all times and places. c.u.mberland, the dramatist, in his memoirs gives a story ill.u.s.trative of the doctor's tea-drinking powers: "I remember when Sir Joshua Reynolds, at my home, reminded Dr. Johnson that he had drunk eleven cups of tea.

'Sir,' he replied, 'I did not count your gla.s.ses of wine; why should you number my cups of tea?'"

At another time a certain Lady Macleod, after pouring out sixteen cups for him, ventured mildly to ask whether a basin would not save him trouble and be more convenient. "I wonder, madam," he replied, roughly, "why all ladies ask such questions?"

"It is to save yourself trouble, not me," was the tactful answer of his hostess.