The 4-Hour Body Part 25

In 1973, Peter traveled with zoologist George Schaller 250 miles into Himalayan no-man's-land in search of the near-mythical snow leopard. Not to be a spoiler, but he didn't find the G.o.dd.a.m.n cat. He saw rare mountain sheep, foxes, wolves-even signs of the snow leopard itself-but it was never found.

Fortunately, Peter's experience led to a Buddhist-like search for meaning and a beautiful cla.s.sic in nature writing. I doubted I could pull the same beauty out of Iron p.e.n.i.s Kung-Fu. My quest was all-or-nothing, and it needed a happy ending in all senses.

I had no choice but to narrow down the field, to find someone who'd already tried everything.

There was only one place to look.

Nina and 400 Hollywood Nights Nina Hartley became a registered nurse in 1985 after graduating magna c.u.m laude from San Francisco State University.

She also started stripping her soph.o.m.ore year, which led to experimenting in adult films. It was not a college phase. Nina has since starred or featured in more than 650 p.o.r.n films and is one of the most recognized and respected names in the business. Lexington Steele, the only person ever to win the AVN (the Oscars of p.o.r.n) Male Performer of the Year Award three times (three times!), has publicly stated "without hesitation" that the single greatest s.e.xual experience of his life was with Nina.

My friend Sylvester Norwood5 later told me the same thing. later told me the same thing.

But...WTF?

His confession confused me. Not because I doubted Nina had the skills. But how the h.e.l.l did Sylvester enter the picture? The same well-behaved Jewish boy too shy to talk to girls?

[s.h.i.+mmer and fade to reenactment] Straight out of Ripley's Believe It or Not Ripley's Believe It or Not: Sylvester's mom attended a group dinner in Berkeley, California, that Nina also happened to be attending, and the two ended up seated next to each other. Mrs. Norwood came home and said to then-22-year-old Sylvester, "Guess who I was at dinner with? A famous p.o.r.n star: Nina Hartley. Have you ever heard of her?"

Sylvester nearly choked. In his secret double life, he had a huge collection of videos featuring Nina, his personal snow leopard.

"Mom, I have to meet her. If I never do anything again in this life, I MUST meet Nina Hartley."

Three days of insistent begging and nagging later, Sylvester's mom raised a hand and picked up the phone.

"Hi, Nina, it's Mrs. Norwood. I had such a wonderful time meeting you at the party. Listen, I have a question for you. Do you ever make love to younger men?"

Nina's answer: "Why, yes! I love breaking in younger men...but only once."

And so it happened.

Summary: Coolest...mom...ever.

A decade later, Sylvester is still friends with Nina, and he introduced us via e-mail. The two-hour phone call that followed was a master's degree in all things s.e.xual, but the most actionable highlights related to (1) the single most important precondition for female o.r.g.a.s.m and (2) technical modifications of positions.

THE PRECONDITION: WOMEN NEED TO STEP UP TO THE STARTING LINE FIRST.

"No man can give give you an o.r.g.a.s.m. He can only help you do it yourself." you an o.r.g.a.s.m. He can only help you do it yourself."

This is why I used the word facilitate facilitate earlier. First and foremost, Nina emphasized, a woman has to be comfortable masturbating. "If she doesn't m.a.s.t.u.r.b.a.t.e regularly, she'll be more trouble, baggage-wise, than it's worth, unless you get off on being the fixer. She has to at least come up to the starting line and be comfortable conversing with her own o.r.g.a.s.mic potential." For years, Nina herself was too embarra.s.sed to show her "O face"-her face during o.r.g.a.s.m-to partners, thinking it was ugly or unattractive, not realizing that men go nuts for it. "The woman needs to know how beautiful and exciting she is in that state." earlier. First and foremost, Nina emphasized, a woman has to be comfortable masturbating. "If she doesn't m.a.s.t.u.r.b.a.t.e regularly, she'll be more trouble, baggage-wise, than it's worth, unless you get off on being the fixer. She has to at least come up to the starting line and be comfortable conversing with her own o.r.g.a.s.mic potential." For years, Nina herself was too embarra.s.sed to show her "O face"-her face during o.r.g.a.s.m-to partners, thinking it was ugly or unattractive, not realizing that men go nuts for it. "The woman needs to know how beautiful and exciting she is in that state."

Truer words never spoken.

To those women who don't m.a.s.t.u.r.b.a.t.e, Nina recommends starting in small increments, five minutes a night before bed or immediately after waking up, and listening to self-talk. What is your head telling you? Unwarranted guilt and shame? Both will pa.s.s with practice, and you must be comfortable solo before it's possible with someone else.

Thirty minutes after the interview with Nina, I called Giselle.6 The verdict: she never m.a.s.t.u.r.b.a.t.ed. The verdict: she never m.a.s.t.u.r.b.a.t.ed.

She was the eldest daughter in her family, an unexpected recurring theme I found among ino.r.g.a.s.mic women, and had been raised Catholic. Her mother used scare tactics with religious overtones, repeating phrases like "I hope your decision to abstain includes remembering your faith." This fueled a feeling of obligation to be a role model for her younger sisters, and the end product was predictable: she disallowed herself pleasure, viewing it as a hazard, and was now well on the path to as.e.xuality.

Step 1: I gave Giselle, who'd agreed to play along, the book s.e.x for One s.e.x for One by Betty Dodson, by Betty Dodson,7 along with a homework a.s.signment to m.a.s.t.u.r.b.a.t.e prior to bed for five minutes each night. along with a homework a.s.signment to m.a.s.t.u.r.b.a.t.e prior to bed for five minutes each night.

Then I crossed my fingers.

The next few weeks would show if her discomfort and disinterest could be fixed through simple conditioning.

In boxing, there is an expression: "Everyone has a plan until they get hit." For Giselle and other women I later interviewed, it seemed that they often had Rocky-like s.e.xual confidence until game time with a partner, when all the buried insecurities surfaced despite (or perhaps because of) their best efforts to suppress them. It was practice facing these demons that they needed, not better self-talk. Masturbation it was.

I hoped five minutes of nightly homework would be enough.

THE POSITIONS: PRECISION AND PRESSURE.

Nina emphasized two slight modifications to most positions:

1. Changing the angle of penetration so that the head of the p.e.n.i.s makes more contact with the female g-spot, which is generally about a quarter in size and one to two inches inside the v.a.g.i.n.a on the top side. If the male inserts an index finger up to the second knuckle (palm up), and makes a come-hither motion, the fingertip should touch a sponge-like tissue or be within an inch of it. This is the g-spot. of penetration so that the head of the p.e.n.i.s makes more contact with the female g-spot, which is generally about a quarter in size and one to two inches inside the v.a.g.i.n.a on the top side. If the male inserts an index finger up to the second knuckle (palm up), and makes a come-hither motion, the fingertip should touch a sponge-like tissue or be within an inch of it. This is the g-spot.

2. Changing the pressure of the position so that the man's pelvic bone is in direct contact with the c.l.i.toris. of the position so that the man's pelvic bone is in direct contact with the c.l.i.toris.

The descriptions that follow are based on Nina's suggestions, as well as my [cough] research testing. The three positions described were chosen because the woman need not necessarily stimulate herself, as would be the case in doggy style.

Improved-Angle Missionary On the facing page, notice that the woman's hips are elevated on a pillow to tilt her hips toward her head. Nina suggests buckwheat hull pillows, which are firm and, unlike foam or feather pillows, don't collapse. I fell in love with them in j.a.pan, as the hulls conform to your head and neck to offer the perfect night's sleep. They conform equally well to female b.u.t.tocks, while keeping them a perfect six or so inches off the bed.

The man then moves his hips as close as possible to the woman's hips while keeping his heels under his b.u.t.tocks. He should be sitting j.a.panese-style, sitting on heels with knees spread as wide as is comfortable. The lower he keeps his hips, the better the angle to hit the g-spot.8 Experiment with different depths of penetration. Using a rhythm of nine shorter half-length penetrations with one long is particularly effective. Use the bottom of the opening of her v.a.g.i.n.a as a fulcrum for the p.e.n.i.s, which will act as a lever. Experiment with different depths of penetration. Using a rhythm of nine shorter half-length penetrations with one long is particularly effective. Use the bottom of the opening of her v.a.g.i.n.a as a fulcrum for the p.e.n.i.s, which will act as a lever.

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The woman should test (a) pulling her knees toward her chest to tilt her hips toward her, and (b) placing her feet flat on the bed to elevate her hips. One will usually feel awesome, while the other will feel awkward.

Note for the big gents on long strokes: if your p.e.n.i.s is apt to hit her cervix in this position, which is not pleasant for women, "open up" one hip, as they say in the adult film business. Putting her bellyb.u.t.ton at twelve noon, aim your p.e.n.i.s at ten or two o'clock. This works for all positions where deep penetration is possible (doggy style, knees on shoulders, etc.). Pain isn't s.e.xy unless the woman tells you it is.

Improved-Pressure Missionary To accomplish this position, the male must s.h.i.+ft his weight forward a few inches. First, he must straighten his legs (bringing them closer together makes this easier) so the knees are off of the bed. Then he'll support more weight on her pelvis (the entire purpose) and his arms.

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This changes the angle of penetration so that the focal point of friction is no longer the head of the p.e.n.i.s against the v.a.g.i.n.al wall, but rather the man's pelvic bone on the woman's c.l.i.toris. This kills two birds with one stone: the man can last far longer, and the woman receives direct c.l.i.toral stimulation.

This modification was recommended by Nina, but she is not alone.

Tallulah was emphatic: "The number-one move I would offer to men is the targeted pelvic grinding in this position, either moving the hips in small circles or slowly side to side."

I later found bracing the abdomen muscles, even extending them a bit, and rocking the hips back and forth in a short one- to two-inch motion to be most effective. Imagine that, from just below your navel to the base of your p.e.n.i.s, you are connected to the woman-never lose contact with the c.l.i.toris. If you do this right, expect to feel like you did 1,000 sit-ups the next day.

Just as one friend said to me as I ground the gears of my car on a steep hill in San Francisco: "If you can't find it, grind it."

Bad advice in cars, good advice in girls.

Conventional Cowgirl Position vs.

Improved-Pressure Cowgirl Position Improved-pressure cowgirl puts the woman on top and re-creates the same penile position as in improved-pressure missionary.

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The man should not be flat on his back, nor should he be sitting straight up. He should be leaning back about 20 degrees. This can be accomplished with pillows on a bed or, ideally, on an armless chair with a back that the woman can hold on to. The advantage of this position is simple: the woman can control the motion.

Professor Nina offers the following advice for all intercourse: "When in doubt, you supply the pressure and she provides the movement."

The male can hold a vibrator to the c.l.i.t in this position, but I opted not to because of the risk of distraction on both sides. As Nina-san sayeth: "A vibrator can be a girl's best friend, or it can be as annoying as a mosquito."

I could always bring in the heavy artillery after the fact, but I wanted to be ready for empty-handed encounters. I wanted to deconstruct the o.r.g.a.s.m, and create it at will, without any tools.

That's when the note in my pocket became the keys to the kingdom, which we explore in the next chapter next chapter. That's also where we'll learn what happened with Giselle.

TOOLS AND TRICKS.

Buckwheat Hull Pillows (www.fourhourbody.com/buckwheat) Bucky manufactures comfy pillows filled with natural buckwheat hulls. Buckwheat hulls are lightweight, durable, and fit the contours of your body without getting flattened like normal pillows. The hulls are hypo-allergenic and allow constant air circulation through the pillow, keeping you cool. Perfect for better sleep and better s.e.x. Bucky manufactures comfy pillows filled with natural buckwheat hulls. Buckwheat hulls are lightweight, durable, and fit the contours of your body without getting flattened like normal pillows. The hulls are hypo-allergenic and allow constant air circulation through the pillow, keeping you cool. Perfect for better sleep and better s.e.x.

Liberator Bedroom Adventure Gear (www.liberator.com) Spice up your bedroom with all the Liberator s.e.x gear you can afford. The website is explicit, and I want to hire their photographer (or maybe it's just the female models?). If nothing else, the "wedge" is a must-purchase item ( Spice up your bedroom with all the Liberator s.e.x gear you can afford. The website is explicit, and I want to hire their photographer (or maybe it's just the female models?). If nothing else, the "wedge" is a must-purchase item (www.fourhourbody.com/wedge). Enough said.

Beautiful Agony (www.beautifulagony.com) Beautiful Agony is a bizarre but oddly hypnotic experiment. The site features videos that users submit of their "O" faces. It may be the most erotic thing you've ever seen, yet the only nudity it contains is from the neck up. Perhaps it's just me, but I wish they had a "Would you like to see men or women?" landing page. Beautiful Agony is a bizarre but oddly hypnotic experiment. The site features videos that users submit of their "O" faces. It may be the most erotic thing you've ever seen, yet the only nudity it contains is from the neck up. Perhaps it's just me, but I wish they had a "Would you like to see men or women?" landing page.

s.e.xWise with Nina Hartley (www.s.e.xwise.me) This is where Nina explores and explains it all. Based on the belief that most s.e.xual "problems" are conflicts between true s.e.xual nature and what you've been taught to believe is acceptable, nothing adult, legal, and consensual is taboo on this site. This is where Nina explores and explains it all. Based on the belief that most s.e.xual "problems" are conflicts between true s.e.xual nature and what you've been taught to believe is acceptable, nothing adult, legal, and consensual is taboo on this site.

Tallulah Sulis (www.tallulahsulis.com) Tallulah is a female e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.i.o.n expert. She was the first to introduce me to the missile coordinates that form the basis for the Tallulah is a female e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.i.o.n expert. She was the first to introduce me to the missile coordinates that form the basis for the next chapter next chapter.

I Love Female o.r.g.a.s.m: An Extraordinary o.r.g.a.s.m Guide ( (www.fourhourbody.com/loveo.r.g.a.s.m) This book, given to Giselle by a female friend, was so good that she suggested I make it my default recommended reading. It uses levity and humor to explain how to have an o.r.g.a.s.m during intercourse (and why most women don't), detailed advice on how to have your first o.r.g.a.s.m, and advice for better oral s.e.x, among other things. Anecdotes from real-world couples create an experimental eagerness around topics that might otherwise be intimidating. It's a great book. This book, given to Giselle by a female friend, was so good that she suggested I make it my default recommended reading. It uses levity and humor to explain how to have an o.r.g.a.s.m during intercourse (and why most women don't), detailed advice on how to have your first o.r.g.a.s.m, and advice for better oral s.e.x, among other things. Anecdotes from real-world couples create an experimental eagerness around topics that might otherwise be intimidating. It's a great book.

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End of Chapter Notes 1. C'mon, people. I'm a C'mon, people. I'm a professional professional.

2. How do you legally get eager test subjects? That's a topic for another book. How do you legally get eager test subjects? That's a topic for another book.

3. Short answer: yes. But if you don't have a stamina problem, this often aggravates the woman and robs her of the psychic payoff of bringing you to o.r.g.a.s.m. Not a fan. If you want to extend your stamina, I recommend breathing and better positioning. Short answer: yes. But if you don't have a stamina problem, this often aggravates the woman and robs her of the psychic payoff of bringing you to o.r.g.a.s.m. Not a fan. If you want to extend your stamina, I recommend breathing and better positioning.

4. Ladies, this is answered in the sidebar and resources of the Ladies, this is answered in the sidebar and resources of the next chapter next chapter.

5. Not his real name. I've immortalized his cat's name in the tradition of p.o.r.n name creation: childhood pet's name + the street you grew up on. Not his real name. I've immortalized his cat's name in the tradition of p.o.r.n name creation: childhood pet's name + the street you grew up on.

6. Giselle is a composite of several subjects from here forward. Giselle is a composite of several subjects from here forward.

7. Recommended by Nina and dozens of other s.e.x educators. Giselle found this book a bit too over-the-top due to rather creepy ill.u.s.trations and a group s.e.x description in the beginning. She preferred Recommended by Nina and dozens of other s.e.x educators. Giselle found this book a bit too over-the-top due to rather creepy ill.u.s.trations and a group s.e.x description in the beginning. She preferred I Love Female o.r.g.a.s.m: An Extraordinary o.r.g.a.s.m Guide I Love Female o.r.g.a.s.m: An Extraordinary o.r.g.a.s.m Guide by Dorian Solot, later given to her by an enthusiastically o.r.g.a.s.mic female friend. by Dorian Solot, later given to her by an enthusiastically o.r.g.a.s.mic female friend.

8. In doggy style, if you wish to expand your repetoire later, the woman would want to keep her hips as low as possible. In doggy style, if you wish to expand your repetoire later, the woman would want to keep her hips as low as possible.

THE 15-MINUTE FEMALE o.r.g.a.s.m.

Part Deux Parental Guidance Suggested: If graphic ill.u.s.trations of female anatomy bother you, you might want to skip this chapter. For real. It's vajayjay galore.There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, "I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked."-Jerry Seinfeld Stupid Animals Below is a composite scene that repeats itself millions of times per night around the world: Man finally gets to go downtown and fumbles to get his hand where it counts.Man starts random up-and-down or circular motion, hoping to G.o.d he can hit the spot and not act surprised.Woman moans and man thinks he's doing well.Woman stops moaning.Man s.h.i.+fts technique or goes into hyperdrive, and woman asks him to slow down a bit.Man slows down, and exactly five seconds of mild positive response later, nothing.Man feels like a dog trying to open a door with no thumbs.If he's out to beat the c.l.i.toris, dead or alive, as most men are, woman gently stops his increasingly erratic attack after 10 minutes.Best case, they move on to something the man can understand, like p.e.n.i.s in v.a.g.i.n.a.He's a stupid animal, folks. Have mercy.

c.l.i.toral Confusion The c.l.i.toris looks something like an Imperial Guard from Star Wars.

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It's also much larger than most people realize. The c.l.i.toral glans, what most refer to as the "c.l.i.t," extends back and splits into an upside-down V. Those legs, the c.l.i.toral crura, are concealed behind the l.a.b.i.a minora. Some researchers believe that "g-spot" stimulation is actually stimulation of the crura and that all o.r.g.a.s.ms originate from stimulation of the c.l.i.toris.

Other researchers, mostly male, disagree.

This is nothing new. Men have been arguing about the c.l.i.toris for 2,500 years.

It all (seemingly) started in 1559. Realdo Colombo of the University of Padua in Italy announced the discovery of the c.l.i.toris and planted his flag: "Since no one has discerned these projections and their workings, if it is permissible to give names to things discovered by me, it should be called the love or sweetness of Venus." Gabriele Falloppio, Realdo's successor and later of Fallopian tube fame, refuted his claim, as did Italians, Danes, and every Y chromosome in between.

Hippocrates actually had Realdo beat by more than 1,300 years, but the c.l.i.toris seems to periodically go into hiding, often for decades at a time. Is it real? Is it an illusion? Is it alive? Is it dead? No one knew until it made a sudden reappearance, like Osama bin Laden on CNN.

It's not hard to understand why men pretend it doesn't exist. If it doesn't exist, or if it's unpredictable, men can write it off as a female problem. If it's purely a female problem, men can't have their egos crushed like a grape between Serena Williams's b.u.t.t cheeks.

c.l.i.toral Confidence Leaving dinner with Tallulah, I became fixated on the idea of a hypersensitive upper-left quadrant on the c.l.i.toris. Could it really be that straightforward?

I walked home from the restaurant that evening and jumped on my laptop to begin researching the one method Tallulah had mentioned by name: the Doing Method.

Seventy-two hours later, I tested the upper-quadrant technique on a willing test subject who'd never experienced an o.r.g.a.s.m from finger-only stimulation. Two strong peaking o.r.g.a.s.ms and an extended 15-minute continuous o.r.g.a.s.m later, I was shocked speechless.

It worked on the first shot.

But it was still guesswork, and I needed to make the technique bulletproof. To do that, I would need to meet not just a a master but master but the the master. master.

Luckily, I had her name on a little sc.r.a.p of paper: Nicole Daedone.

Origins: More University Lafayette Morehouse was established by Dr. Victor Baranco in 1968 on Purson Lane in Lafayette, California.

Operating as More University from 1977 to 1997, it was a commune founded on the ideal of "responsible hedonism." The residents painted the buildings and automobiles on the property purple, and their newsletter explained the rationale: