Any Coincidence Is Part 16

"Where's Kurt?!" Ritchie shouted.

"I'm right here," Kurt said, stepping out of the doors that led to the bigger screen.

"Kurt!" Alona said.

"Alona!" Kurt said, almost simultaneously.

"b.u.t.thead!" Julia said.

"Don't call me that!" Kurt said, and gave Julia a stare that meant only one thing.

"Move!" Uncle Justin yelled, pus.h.i.+ng Julia out of the way. She stumbled and fell against the ticket counter. The artificial plant that had been just behind her disappeared.

"Hold it!" the Director shouted. "Let's not get violent."

"Why not?" asked Denny, stepping out of the emergency exit. "Did you think we'd get what we want by being nice?"

"We want a better world, Denny! I'm sure these people can be made to understand what we're trying to do."

"And what exactly is that?" Ritchie asked.

"We're going to move the town to a better place," the Director replied.

"Northern Wisconsin?" Alona asked.

"Minnesota?" Betty asked.

"Somewhere where they run bad movies 24/7?" Tom asked with a smirk.

"Somewhere that's not here!" replied Shenika, as she stepped out magically from behind the ticket counter. "Do you want to be stuck in this backwater state forever?!"

Julia stood up and tried to work out the kink in her back. "You hate Wisconsin, is that it? What kind of an excuse is that to start a conspiracy?"

"Most people know that everyone in Wisconsin hates Wis-" Kurt began.

"I like this state!" Ritchie said, Betty nodding in the affirmative by his side.

"It's not about this state!" Denny yelled. "Why stay in a world where..." He couldn't finish, but the nightmare he'd had since he was six flashed before his eyes anyway. A bang. Everyone jumps and covers their ears. She's sprawled on the floor. Blood running from her body.

A man with a gun by the door. Another shot outside, and he falls.

"Where what?" Julia asked when Denny didn't continue. "Where on Earth were you planning to go?" Julia asked.

"That's just it!" the Director exclaimed. "Not on Earth! Somewhere else!"

There was a pause, and then Tom said: "You've been watching too many of your own movies. You're full of c.r.a.p."

"We can do it whenever we want to, numb-nuts!" Kurt shot back.

"Then why haven't you?" Betty asked.

"Because we can't do it whenever we want to," Denny admitted, giving Kurt a dark look. "It takes planning, preparation... recruitment, teamwork. And it's going to be a lot more difficult if you stand in our way. So..."

"You want us to agree with you?" Ritchie asked. "To send this whole town to Fairy-Land just because you don't like it here? Why not just move?!"

"It's not the state that's the problem," said the Lab Coat Man, stepping out from the doors leading to the smaller theater. "That point has been exaggerated by one or two of my colleagues. It's this world that's the problem. Who would ever choose to live in a world like this? No one, in truth, and we've found a way out and want to take the town with us. You ought to be thanking us for our generosity, really."

"No wonder you recruited Sigger," Alona said. "You are such an a.s.s...

although I respect your right to religious difference."

"I'll have you know -- !" began the Lab Coat Man, his hand moving to cover his forehead.

"Never mind all that," Justin interrupted, "it won't work."

All turned to him. The Director and Denny took a step forward.

"Like h.e.l.l it won't," Denny said. "You should know that."

"Whoever wrote these formulas had a lot of insight... Had to. They solved the big mystery in physics: how gravity relates to the other fundamental cosmic forces."

The Director grinned. "Well, I'm not at liberty to say where they came from, but thank-you!"

"Like you had anything to do with it," Denny grumbled.

Kurt giggled until the Director gave him a scowl.

"Oh, I'm not saying it doesn't work. It does. But there's a flaw here."

"If this turns into a science cla.s.s," said Zeke, who had appeared just inside the main doors, "I'm leaving."

"Don't be rude, Ezekiel," said the old lady, who appeared in a corner along with her rocking chair. "Go on, Mr. Nelson."

Justin scratched his head and went on. "You seem to be violating the Law of Conservation of Energy."

"I told you he was a nutcase!" said the police officer, who had appeared at the Director's side.

"Seem to be violating...?" Denny said. "Either we are or we aren't."

"Which law is that again?" Tom asked.

"The Law of Conservation of Energy," Alona repeated.

"You're so smart," Tom replied, giving her a kiss on the cheek.

"How does it work?" the Lab Coat Man asked. "And don't pretend I'm the only one who doesn't know how it works!" he added, rubbing the spot on his forehead in agitation.

"It's a law in the strictest sense. There's no way around it," Justin said.

"This is a science cla.s.s!" moaned Zeke.