Any Coincidence Is Part 17

"Oh, have a seat and be quiet!" the Director snapped. "If there is a flaw in the formula, we have to know about it!"

"a.s.suming he's not lying," the cop said.

"Physics can't lie!" Justin bellowed. "Now listen! Think of it in terms of simple math. You all can do simple math, right?"

There were a few faces that fell and began examining the carpet.

"Well, listen anyway!" Justin began, back in his cla.s.sroom for the first time in years. "You got a set of Legos. Twenty, fifty, a hundred, it doesn't matter. You make a car out of them for your grandchild, then take it apart. You have the same number as you've started. Those Legos represent energy. They can't be created or destroyed."

"What if the Legos get lost?" Kurt asked.

"Then the energy went somewhere else, but the block is still around somewhere. They can be moved around all you want, but the Legos themselves are indestructible."

"OK, that's fairly simple," said the Director.

"Now here's the problem. We have a kind of energy called potential energy, and specifically I mean gravitational potential energy. All potential energy is based on position, right?"

"I know where you're going with this," Shenika said. "Gravity pulls on us all the time, so the higher we are, the more potential energy we have, right?"

"Basically. So, with this instant movement of yours, it all seems to work except for one thing..."

"Boy, you really get into your explanations, don't you?" Denny muttered.

"Just hurry up," Zeke moaned.

"It would take too long to explain in detail, but with these equations, you shouldn't be able to move up or down."

"What?" Shenika said.

"Huh?" Zeke said.

"Pardon?" the Director said.

"You're magically creating and destroying energy when you blip from one place to another and change energy states!" Justin said.

"I'm lost," Kurt said.

"No surprise," Tom muttered.

"It's in the math! You're using the same energy going laterally as you are going up or down! It's like an elevator that doesn't need power to move! It can't work!"

"But it does!" Denny said.

"That's why I said it appears you're violating Conservation of Energy.

Maybe you are, but it's more likely that you're drawing energy from somewhere else."

"From where?" the Director asked, suddenly looking pale and slightly older.

"Oh Lord," Tom said, "it's Ed Wood time, again, isn't it? They're getting it from another dimension, and there's going to be this disastrous consequence, and the whole Earth will be get swallowed up, and yadda yadda yadda..."

Now it was Uncle Justin's turn to study the carpet.

"Well?" Ritchie asked.

"Well it's coming from somewhere...! I don't know where, but the more energy you use, the greater the problems you'll have when it's time to pay the bill!"

The conspirators turned to the Director.

"So that means if we try to move the town..." he began.

"There's no way to say," Justin said. "But it probably won't be pretty."

Just then, a dark wind blew against the building. The gla.s.s doors popped open momentarily and then locked back into place. The widows high above the lobby rattled ominously. The lights, for a moment, flickered.

"Woah," Kurt muttered, "how's that for coincidence?"

"Do that again," Tom prompted.

"Do what?" Justin asked.

"That wind thing."

"I didn't do it!"

"Well, just say something like 'the world is doomed' and see what happens..."

Justin opened his mouth, then thought better of it and closed it again.

"Say what you want," Shenika said, "but that's enough to convince me that this has been nothing but a big waste of my time." And with that, she disappeared.

"Where'd she go?!" Zeke asked. "Who did that?"

"She did," Justin said. "I think she's left your conspiracy."

"Now wait a minute --" the Director began.

"Where's the cop?" Tom asked. He had disappeared too. So had the old lady. And, when they turned around, so had Zeke.

"They're running out on you," Ritchie said, taking a step forward.

"Didn't need them anyway," Denny said, stepping toward Ritchie.

"I thought you said --"

"We need a lot of help to move the town, but not as much to move a building. Say, a theater..."

"Denny, I don't think this is- --" the Director began.

"Why not?" Kurt said, moving toward him. "Let's just get the h.e.l.l out of this town while we can!"