The Book of Anecdotes and Budget of Fun Part 37

You’re reading novel The Book of Anecdotes and Budget of Fun Part 37 online at Please use the follow button to get notification about the latest chapter next time when you visit Use F11 button to read novel in full-screen(PC only). Drop by anytime you want to read free – fast – latest novel. It’s great if you could leave a comment, share your opinion about the new chapters, new novel with others on the internet. We’ll do our best to bring you the finest, latest novel everyday. Enjoy!


A DRAMATIC author, not unconscious of his own abilities, observed, that he knew nothing so terrible as reading a play in the green-room, before so critical an audience. "I know something more terrible," said Mrs.

Powell. "What is that?" "To be obliged to sit and hear it read."


WALKING STUART, being cast away on an unknown sh.o.r.e, where, after he and his companions had proceeded a long way without seeing a creature, at length, to their great delight, they descried _a man hanging on a gibbet_. "The joy," says he, "which this _cheering sight_ excited, cannot be described; for it convinced us that we were in a _civilized country_."


A GENTLEMAN asked his _black diamond merchant_ the price of coals. "Ah!"

said he, significantly shaking his head, "coals are coals, now." "I am glad to hear that," observed the wit, "for the last I had of you, were half of them slates."


"WHAT is your name?" "My name is Norval, on the Grampian Hills."

"Where did you come from?" "I come from a happy land, where care is unknown."

"Where are you lodging now?" "I dreamt I dwelt in marble halls."

"Where are you going to?" "Far, far o'er hill and dell."

"What is your occupation?" "Some love to roam."

"Are you married?" "Long time ago. Polly put the kettle on."

"How many children have you?" "There's Doll, and Bet, and Moll, and Kate, and--"

"What is your wife's name?" "O no, we never mention her."

"Did your wife oppose your leaving her?" "She wept not, when we parted."

"In what condition did you leave her?" "A rose tree in full bearing."

"Is your family provided for?" "A little farm, well tilled."

"Did your wife drive you off?" "Oh, sublime was the warning."

"What did your wife say to you, that induced you to _slope_?" "Come, rest in this bosom."

"Was your wife good-looking?" "She wore a wreath of roses."

"Did your wife ever treat you badly?" "Oft in the stilly night."

"When you announced your intention of emigrating, what did she say?"

"Oh, dear, what can the matter be?"

"And what did you reply?" "Sweet Kitty Clover, you bother me so!"

"Where did you last see her?" "Near the lakes, where drooped the willow."

"What did she say to you, when you were in the act of leaving?" "A place in thy memory, dearest!"

"Do you still love her?" "'Tis said that absence conquers love."

"What are your possessions?" "The harp that once through Tara's halls--"

"What do you propose to do with it?" "I'll hang my harp on a willow tree."

"Where do you expect to make a living?" "Over the water with Charley."


MR. CAMPBELL, a Highland gentleman, through whose estate in Argyles.h.i.+re runs the military road which was made under the direction of General Wade, in grateful commemoration of its benefits, placed a stone seat on the top of a hill, where the weary traveler may repose, after the labour of his ascent, and on which is judiciously inscribed, _Rest, and be thankful_. It has, also, the following sublime distich:

"Had you seen this road, _before it was made_, You would lift up your hands, and bless General Wade."


"THERE was a man hanged this morning; one _Vowel_." "Well, let us be thankful, _it was neither U nor I_."


The Book of Anecdotes and Budget of Fun Part 37

You're reading novel The Book of Anecdotes and Budget of Fun Part 37 online at You can use the follow function to bookmark your favorite novel ( Only for registered users ). If you find any errors ( broken links, can't load photos, etc.. ), Please let us know so we can fix it as soon as possible. And when you start a conversation or debate about a certain topic with other people, please do not offend them just because you don't like their opinions.

The Book of Anecdotes and Budget of Fun Part 37 summary

You're reading The Book of Anecdotes and Budget of Fun Part 37. This novel has been translated by Updating. Author: Various already has 384 views.

It's great if you read and follow any novel on our website. We promise you that we'll bring you the latest, hottest novel everyday and FREE. is a most smartest website for reading novel online, it can automatic resize images to fit your pc screen, even on your mobile. Experience now by using your smartphone and access to