The Book of Anecdotes and Budget of Fun Part 45

IN a bill for pulling down the old Newgate in Dublin, and rebuilding it on the same spot, it was enacted, that the prisoners should remain in the _old jail_ till the new one was completed.

CLa.s.sICAL BULL. MILTON.

THE deeds themselves, though _mute_, _spoke loud_ the doer.

ANOTHER. SHAKSPEARE.

I WILL strive with things impossible, Yea, _get the better of them_.

ANOTHER. DR. JOHNSON.

TURN from the glittering bribe your scornful eye, Nor sell for gold _what gold can never buy_.

CLa.s.sICAL BULL. DR. JOHNSON.

EVERY monumental inscription should be in Latin; for that being a _dead_ language, it will always _live_.

ANOTHER. _Ibid._

NOR yet perceived the vital spirit fled, But still fought on, _nor knew that he was dead_.

ANOTHER. _Ibid._

SHAKSPEARE has not only _shown_ human nature as it is, but as it would be found _in situations to which it cannot be exposed_.

ANOTHER. _Ibid._

THESE observations were made _by favor of a contrary wind_.

ANOTHER. DRYDEN.

A HORRID _silence_ first _invades the ear_.

ANOTHER. POPE.

WHEN first young Maro, in his n.o.ble mind, A work _t'outlast immortal Rome designed_.

DEPRAVITY OF THE AGE.

AN itinerant clergyman preaching on this subject, said that little children, _who could neither speak nor walk_, were to be seen _running about the street, cursing and swearing_.

THE SIGNAL.

A MONK having intruded into the chamber of a n.o.bleman, who was at the point of death, and had lost his speech, continued crying out, "My lord, will you make the grant of such and such a thing to our monastery? It will be for the good of your soul." The peer, at each question, nodded his head. The monk, on this, turned round to the son and heir, who was in the room: "You see, sir, my lord, your father, gives his a.s.sent to my request." To this, the son made no reply; but turning to his father, asked him, "Is it your will, sir, that I kick this monk down stairs?"

The nod of a.s.sent was given, and the permission put in force with hearty good will.

A LONG BOW.

A DEALER in the marvellous was a constant frequenter of a house in Lambeth-walk, where he never failed to entertain the company with his miraculous tales. A bet was laid, that he would be surpa.s.sed by a certain actor, who, telling the following story, the palm was not only given to him by the company, but the story teller, ashamed, deserted the house: