If Only etc. Part 21

MRS. SYLVESTER.

Till seven o'clock.

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

Till seven.

MRS. TEMPENNY.

Au revoir, dear. (_Aside to him_.) You won't forget the--?

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

(_Aside to_ MRS. TEMPENNY.) The two pounds, and the butcher; I won't forget 'em. I only hope the _butcher_ may forget _me_.

(_Exit_ MRS. SYLVESTER.)

MRS. TEMPENNY.

By-bye, sweetheart.

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

Ta, ta, Duckie.

MRS. TEMPENNY.

Don't do too much--remember your precious health.

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

All right, my love.

MRS. TEMPENNY (_blowing a kiss_).

There.

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY (_blowing a kiss_).

There.

MRS. TEMPENNY.

My own darling husband!

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

My angel.

(_Exit_ MRS. TEMPENNY.)

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY (_with a deep sigh of relief_).

Thank heaven! (_Sinks into armchair, and puts his feet on the mantelpiece_) The corner is getting tight, Rembrandt. This sort of thing won't boil the pot. It won't, sonny, I a.s.sure you! Where's the sketch of my _magnum opus_. 'Pon my word, I haven't seen the thing for a month or more. (_Gets up and rummages in a portfolio_.) Ah, here we have it! (_Holds up and contemplates a small charcoal sketch_.) "Susannah before the Elders" beautiful! composition charming!

Rembrandt, old pal,--I congratulate you! But where's the picture of it?

"Oh where, and oh where!" Rembrandt, you're developing into a thorough-paced loafer. You always had a talent that way, but of late you've broken your own record. I'll turn over a new leaf; I will, I'll be a new man. Why not? We've the new woman; why not the new man?

Excellent idea. Rembrandt Tempenny, the new man--the coming man--by George the GREAT man! I'm in earnest, I'm in a fever. I bubble over with n.o.ble resolutions. I wish the tradespeople didn't want cash--tradespeople who want cash are so damping to n.o.ble resolutions!

(_Gets out Easel and canvas, and takes off coat_.)

(_Door in Flat is kicked open. Enter_ ROBERT ADDISON.)

ROBERT ADDISON.

Hullo!

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

Hullo!

ROBERT ADDISON.

How are you, old chap?

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

I'm the new man.

ROBERT ADDISON.

The devil you are! What does it feel like?

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

Unfamiliar--like somebody's else's boots. I say, dear boy, can you lend me a couple of thick 'uns.

ROBERT ADDISON.

Eh?

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

It's for the tradespeople.

ROBERT ADDISON.

Oh really--on principle you know--I never pay tradespeople.