If Only etc. Part 37

What's that you say? You have just seen my wife?

ROSALINE (_nodding_).

She has been here. She has only just gone.

CHARLES SYLVESTER.

The devil! What did she say to you--what did she think?

ROSALINE.

She thought you knew about it--she was angry!

CHARLES SYLVESTER (_furiously_).

And very rightly too. You have no business here--why did you come?

ROSALINE.

Mr. Tempenny brought me.

CHARLES SYLVESTER.

What? Are _you_ his model? This is really too bad. Where is he?

ROSALINE (_pointing R_.).

He has gone in there.

CHARLES SYLVESTER.

What for? (_Calling_.) Tempenny! I say, Tempenny, I want you!

(_Enter_ REMBRANDT TEMPENNY _very nervously_.)

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

Ah--er--good morning, dear boy. What weather, eh? What weather we're having to be sure. (_Aside to_ ROSALINE.) You malicious, base-hearted--(_Shakes his fist at her_.) Oh!

CHARLES SYLVESTER.

Look here, you know, Tempenny, this won't do. You have no right to bring the girl here. I don't think it was at all friendly of you. I--I consider it a d.a.m.ned liberty of you in fact.

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY (_shrinking_).

I was afraid you would be vexed, but don't be cross, dear old man; don't be "put out" about it. (_Trying to laugh_.) There are worse troubles at sea, as they say--worse troubles at sea!

CHARLES SYLVESTER.

(_With rising indignation_.) But I _am_ put out. d.a.m.n the sea--what's that got to do with it. Mrs. Sylvester has been in and seen her, I understand? You have served me a very shabby trick, Tempenny--I am very sorry about it!

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

(_Still trying to laugh it off_.) All comes out in the wash, old chap--all comes out in the wash, I a.s.sure you! (_Slaps him on the shoulder_.)

CHARLES SYLVESTER.

Don't do that--I don't like it!

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY (_nervously_).

Ha, ha, ha! (_Does it again_.)

CHARLES SYLVESTER (_shouting_).

Don't!

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY (_collapsing_).

All right, I won't.

ROSALINE (_advancing_).

Charlie!

CHARLES SYLVESTER.

Don't call me "Charlie"--I don't like it.

ROSALINE.

Once--

CHARLES SYLVESTER.

Well, then, I don't like it twice--do you hear! This is all your fault, Tempenny. You have got me into a pretty mess upon my word. My wife won't believe me, and I shall never hear the end of it.

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

And what about mine?

CHARLES SYLVESTER.

Yours?

ROSALINE.

Yes, she has gone to tell her.