If Only etc. Part 38

CHARLES SYLVESTER (_roaring with laughter_).

Ha, ha, ha!

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY (_miserably_).

Remarkably funny, isn't it?

CHARLES SYLVESTER.

Ha, ha, ha!

ROSALINE.

Ha, ha, ha!

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

(_To_ CHARLES SYLVESTER; _pointing to_ ROSALINE.) That girl is a perfect devil. She smacked my face just now when I was posing as a mandarin.

CHARLES SYLVESTER (_staring_).

As a what!

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

I was a mandarin when your wife came in--I thought it best--and this ex-mash of yours took advantage of me, and smacked my face.

CHARLES SYLVESTER.

(_To_ ROSALINE.) I tell you what it is,--I think you had better go. You had better be off--I can't have you here.

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

I quite agree. _I_ don't want her--she is more trouble than she is worth.

ROSALINE.

You are very rude to me, both of you. (_To_ CHARLES SYLVESTER.) Your manners have not improved with matrimony, my friend.

CHARLES SYLVESTER.

I am not going to discuss my manners--

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

No, he is not going to discuss his manners.

CHARLES SYLVESTER.

The point is--

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

The point is--git!

ROSALINE.

The point is that if you don't ask me properly, I shall do nothing of the kind. Now you've got it.

CHARLES SYLVESTER.

(_To_ REMBRANDT TEMPENNY _angrily_.) What the devil do you mean by bringing such a firebrand here?

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

Now don't lose your temper again. (_To_ ROSALINE.) Will you go?

ROSALINE.

No, I won't.

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

That settles it. (_The two men look at each other helplessly_.)

(_Enter_ SARAH ANN.)

SARAH ANN.

If you please, sir, there is a gentleman downstairs who wants to see Mr. Tempenny.

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

Me? What's his name? What does he want?

SARAH ANN.

He says his name is Mr. Schercl.

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

I'm out. Go and tell him so. It only wanted this to complete my happiness. I won't see him, do you hear?

SARAH ANN.

If you please the gentleman said he must see you, but if you was engaged, he'd wait.

CHARLES SYLVESTER.