If Only etc. Part 39

You won't get rid of old Schercl in a hurry, if he has advanced you any of the "ready."

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

Tell him I'm out. Then let him come up if he likes.

CHARLES SYLVESTER.

What are you going to do?

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

I am going to dissemble. I am going to be an Eastern potentate, and I am going to spoof the old boy. (_To_ SARAH ANN.) Menial, slope! (_To_ CHARLES SYLVESTER.) Help me.

ROSALINE.

This is the rummiest studio that ever I was in!

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

Yes, originality is what we pride ourselves on. (_He disguises himself as the Maharajah of Slamthedoor_.)

CHARLES SYLVESTER.

And what am _I_ to do?

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

You must be very deferential. I think you had better salaam when you speak to me. Try it.

CHARLES SYLVESTER.

Like this? (_Salaams_.)

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

That's it, only more so. And mind, if he wants to see Susannah, you don't let him look at it. It's only just begun. How do I look?

ROSALINE.

You look like a Guy Fawkes.

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

Dear child! how pretty she talks! Where did you originally find such a treasure?

(_Enter_ HENRICH SCHERCL _L_.)

HENRICH SCHERCL.

Ah, Mr. Sylvester, how do you do? Where is Mr. Tempenny? I hoped to see him.

CHARLES SYLVESTER.

He has been compelled to go out on most important business.

HENRICH SCHERCL.

The business of you gentlemen is always "most important" excepting when it concerns them that find you the wherewithal. (_Aside_.) What a nice girl!

(ROSALINE _smiles at him_.)

CHARLES SILVESTER.

I don't think, my dear Schercl, that you have much cause to complain.

You don't lose by us; now confess!

HENRICH SCHERCL.

My dear sir, if I lost by you how do you think I should garry on my business? One must live. But you artists don't give us much chance. You are always bleeding us for what you call "a bit on aggount."

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY (_coming down_).

Your conversation is very interesting, but I wish to see Mr. Tempenny.

He is not here, and if he is not coming I shall go. Allah Bismillah Remdazzlegefoo!

HENRICH SCHERCL.

(_Aside to_ CHARLES SYLVESTER.) What does he say?

CHARLES SYLVESTER.

(_Aside to_ HENRICH SCHERCL.) He's swearing because Tempenny is out.

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

I wanted to buy some of his great works. The Maharajah of Battledore told me that he was one of your most favourite painters.

ROSALINE (_aside_).

Good old Rembrandt Tempenny. What larks!

HENRICH SCHERCL.

(_Aside to_ CHARLES SYLVESTER.) Let _me_ deal with this sportsman.

CHARLES SYLVESTER.

(_Aside to_ HENRICH SCHERCL.) Bosh, why should you?